In a movie theater, Donna and Randy are sitting together, and they're making out. He asks why she'll only kiss him in dark places, and Donna pretends that she doesn't know what he's talking about; he points out that yesterday, she drove him half-an-hour into the woods before she'd let him kiss her and he was worried that she was going to kill him and hide his body. She tells him that she dated Eric for a long time and she just isn't sure how the rest of the gang will react to her dating him now; they kiss again and a few rows back, Jackie, Fez and Hyde sit and watch them.
[Scene change: Donna's face in a close up shot.]
In the Forman driveway, the gang is playing basketball and talking about Donna and Randy. Red and Kitty come out and say that they're finally changing Eric's room into a sewing room for Kitty. Donna and Randy show up together; Jackie asks where Donna was yesterday, and Donna nervously says that she was practising music in the park; Randy says that he was at home. Jackie tells them that they all know about the two of them; Randy and Donna both say that it's great, and not awkward at all.
In the Forman basement, everyone is sitting around silently; it's extremely awkward. Fez asks Randy if Donna's kisses are smooth or rough; Jackie tells him that that's personal and then asks if they've had sex yet? Hyde says no, because Donna's an intelligent woman who wants a man to appreciate her for her mind, in other words: a tease. Fez decides that they'll probably have sex soon.
[Scene change: Hyde approaches the camera.]
At the hair salon, Jackie is excited that she's the new 'Hair Consultant' at the salon. Hilary gives Fez a muffin and he talks to her a bit; after she goes, Jackie tells Fez that he should ask Hilary out, but he's too afraid to do that. Jackie approaches a woman who's just had a perm and tells her to get rid of the curls; the woman asks who she is, and Jackie explains that she's the Hair Consultant. Fez pulls her aside and tells her that she's not the Hair Consultant, that was just a lie he told her to get her there; really, she's the floor sweeper. Jackie is appalled, and says that the floor sweeper is a foreign girl; Fez tells her that the foreign girl is now Jackie's boss.
In Eric's bedroom, Kitty is putting the G. I. Joes into a box; Hyde comes in and starts looking around; he's searching for a stash that he hid somewhere in the room, but he can't find it. Red packs up some trophies and remembers how proud he was when Eric won it: for "prettiest non-functioning kite." Donna comes over; Kitty gives her a box of gifts and cards that she'd given to Eric while they were dating, saying that Donna should keep them so she'll have them when she and Eric get back together. Donna tells Kitty that they've split up and they're not getting back together and that's that.
At the hair salon, Fez tells Hilary that he went out to a club last night and came home with one creamy white girl and one chocolaty black girl, and they made a hot fudge sundae... then had sex. After Hilary goes, Jackie asks Fez why he's lying to her about his lifestyle; Fez just tells her to be quiet and sweep the floor. Jackie says that the floor is clean, so Fez grabs a razor and shaves off a strip of a customer's hair and throws it on the floor, then tells the customer that this is how the kids are wearing it now.
[Scene change: Jackie and Donna do the Bump.]
In the Forman driveway, Donna sits on the hood of the Vista Cruiser, looking through the things in the box that Kitty gave her. Randy comes up and sees the Star Wars
light saber in the box and pulls it out to start playing with it. Donna looks at him and instead of seeing Randy as he really is, she sees him as Eric, wearing Eric's striped shirt and with Eric's hairstyle; she pushes him off the hood of the car, then apologizes but tells him that things are just too weird and that she can't see him any more, then leaves.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air.]
In the Forman kitchen, Jackie tells Kitty that Fez is lying to a girl at work and pretending to be someone he's not; Fez says that everyone lies. Kitty says that she likes to pretend that she's Scarlett O'Hara when she's bringing in the groceries; she looks at all the food and says, "As God is my witness, I will never be hungry again!" Kitty tells Jackie that it's okay to pretend; Fez says that all he's done is create a new and better Fez, and he imagines... he's in the hair salon; the lights are low and there are disco lights and female dancers. Fez begins dancing with them as Isaac Hayes sings "Fez" to the tune of "Shaft."
In Eric's bedroom, Donna tells Hyde that she broke up with Randy because it just felt weird, but she's worried that she hurt his feelings. Randy and Red come in; Red hired Randy to help with the room renovation. Red tells Hyde that he's going to the lumber yard and wants Hyde to come with him; Hyde claims that he's busy, but Red insists that he come because he knows why Hyde's in the room, and knows that if he goes to the lumber yard alone, Hyde might find his stash, and then Red would miss the joy of seeing Hyde's face when he flushed it down the toilet. Red and Hyde leave; Donna tells Randy that she hopes he's okay; he's nice about it and says that he's fine. This angers Donna, who wants him to be a jerk so that breaking up with him will be easier, but Randy just keeps being nice. He then takes off his shirt to start working and Donna starts mocking him, then calls him an ass and leaves.
[Scene change: Fez and Randy look into the camera.]
At the hair salon, Fez asks Hilary out, but she turns him down, saying that she can't keep up with his wild lifestyle. Jackie comments that she thinks Hilary will be able to keep up; Hilary asks how Jackie knows and Jackie informs Hilary that she's Fez's roommie. Hilary is surprised about this and says that Fez told her he lived alone. Jackie is fed up and tells Hilary the truth about Fez: that he stays home and watches TV, he's in bed by 9 p.m. and his idea of a threesome is Neapolitan ice cream. Fez tries to deny it and say that Jackie is lying, so Jackie pulls out his knapsack and shows Hilary the book that Fez has in there: "When The Phone Never Rings: A Beginner's Guide To Self-Love."
In the Forman driveway, Red shows Donna the sewing table that he and Randy made and comments that Randy's a good carpenter, and that Eric only ever built a crappy bird house. Donna asks Red what he'd think if she started dating someone new; he tells her that Eric broke up with her and it's only normal for her to start dating someone... someone like Randy, and he'd have no problem with it. Donna says that it's great that he and Kitty are okay with this, but Red warns her not to tell Kitty.
[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]
At the hair salon, Fez is angry at Jackie for telling Hilary the truth; Hilary comes in and asks Fez why he lied to her. Fez explains that he wanted her to think he was cool so that she'd go out with him; Hilary says that all his stories intimidated her but now that she knows he's just a normal guy, she'll go out with him. Jackie is confused by this, and wants to know if Hilary didn't think the book was gross; Hilary thought it was cute and endearing.
In Eric's room, the room has been completely re-done, painted and turned into a sewing room. Red is cleaning out some last things and finds a paper bag; Hyde says that it's his and that Red shouldn't open it. Red opens the bag and pulls out... a macrame owl. Hyde sheepishly says that it's his secret hobby and he does it as therapy. Red gives him the owl and leaves; once Red is gone, Hyde pulls a smaller bag out of the macrame that contains his stash. Donna comes in; Hyde leaves to punish his stash by "burning" it. Donna tells Randy that she over-reacted and is sorry, and that it's going to take her some time to get used to dating someone new, after having dated Eric for so long. Randy says that he understands; they kiss, and Kitty comes in and sees them. She freaks out and calls Donna a two-timing whore for kissing someone else in Eric's bedroom.
[End credits: In the movie theater, Hilary hands Fez a tissue, as he's crying while they watch a sad movie. Fez tells her that he can't believe that he dropped a whole box of M&M's on the floor; she offers to buy him some more, but he tells her that it was the last one.]