That '70s Show

Season 8 Episode 5

Stone Cold Crazy

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Nov 30, 2005 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, Kitty comes down and tells them not to worry, she'll fix the washer. Sam offers some help, but Kitty tells her that it's okay, and it's just that Sam's teeny tiny clothes were all on one side while their regular clothes were on the other side. Kitty then tells Sam that she's sorry, but she's just upset because she got a manicure and Red hasn't noticed. Donna suggests that Kitty change her hair, and points out that when she went blonde, Eric went nuts... and then Fez went nuts... and then Donna had to start wearing hats. Kitty says that she can't change her hair, as Red loves it and it's her trademark. Sam says that if Kitty wants Red to notice her, she should just show him how smart she is, or, even faster, she could just take off her clothes. Hyde gets up to leave, saying that he doesn't want to see that. Kitty says that she'll just wear her special perfume, and goes back upstairs. Donna asks Sam about sending Eric some sexy pictures; Sam says sure, she has some 8 x 10s in her car. Donna points out that she meant pictures of herself, and she'd like Sam to take them. Sam agrees, and tells Donna that she has the perfect pair of boots for the photos; Donna points out that they don't have the same size feet, but Sam tells her that she won't be wearing the boots, she'll be licking them. [Scene change: Donna and Jackie do the bump.] At the apartment, Jackie puts up a 'Hang In There, Baby' poster; Fez asks what she's doing in his apartment, and she tells him that when Kelso moved to Chicago, he told her that she could have his room in the apartment, so now she and Fez are roomies. Fez says, "Hot diggity!" and then imagines the fun they could have... A theme song plays while the credits roll on "The Fez And Jackie Show," where they bump into each other and laugh; Jackie builds a house of cards and Fez roller skates into it and falls, and they laugh; Fez cuts Jackie's hair, she's bald on one side, and they laugh; Jackie opens the dishwasher and Fez is inside, and they laugh; Fez drinks something sitting on the counter, then spits it out, Jackie shows him that it's motor oil, and they laugh... and Don Knotts is The Landlord. Jackie tells Fez that it's the dumbest thing that she's ever heard, but it does have a catchy tune. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Fez jumps in the air.] At the apartment, Fez is ready to leave for work; Jackie asks what she's supposed to do while he's gone. She tells him that The Wizard Of Oz is on TV tonight, and they can watch it together when he gets home. [Scene change: Donna's face in a close up shot.] In the Pinciotti kitchen, Donna looks over the pictures and tells Sam that she can't believe that she let her take naked pictures of her. She puts them in an envelope to send to Eric. Bob comes in and asks if she wants him to mail the letter; Donna makes sure that he knows it's illegal to tamper with mail, then gives him the envelope to mail. [Scene change: Donna struts towards the camera.] In the Forman kitchen, Kitty puts on some of her special perfume, and then takes a brownie on a plate over to Red, who's sitting at the table. As she leans over him, he comments that something smells terrific, and Kitty is happy, thinking that he noticed her perfume, but Red meant the brownie. Red goes out, eating the brownie, and Kitty calls for Sam... Sam tells Kitty about stripping, and that the first thing she should do is set the mood with candles. Kitty says that the only candles she has are the trick ones that don't blow out. Sam tells her that she should start by slowly removing her gloves; Kitty grabs a pair of oven mitts, so Sam says that they should just skip ahead. She shows Kitty a move; step, dip, hair, flip; Kitty tries it and Sam tells her that she's doing great, and next, she'll teach Kitty how to pick up money with everything except her hands. Bob comes in and tells Kitty that he's taking a letter to the post office for Eric and asks if Kitty has anything to eat... add? She tells him that she wants to add the Marmaduke cartoon, and gives him a brownie. He leaves; Kitty opens the letter to add the cartoon, and shakes out the contents of the envelope, and is shocked by the pictures. Hyde calls her from downstairs that the washing machine is unbalanced again, so she quickly puts the pictures in a drawer, and goes downstairs. Red comes in looking for the car keys; he looks in the drawer and sees the pictures and is shocked. He hears Kitty and Hyde coming upstairs, so he quickly puts the pictures in the newspaper that's sitting on the counter. Hyde and Kitty come into the kitchen; Hyde says he's on his way to work, so if she needs him, he'll be at The Hub. He picks up the newspaper and walks out. Kitty searches for the pictures and can't find them; she decides that the only thing to do is have a drink. [Scene change: Red yells at the camera, Kitty dances on the screen.] At The Hub, Caroline comes in; Fez is shocked to see her again. Hyde tells Randy that Caroline is a crazy girl that Fez used to date, and that's also probably why she dated him. Fez wants to know where he should hide, and puts a menu up in front of his face; Randy loudly says, "Where should we hide you, Fez?" Caroline hears this and comes over to the table. Fez tells her that she looks good; she says that she's doing a lot better thanks to her therapist, her medication, and good old electricity. She adds that one thing hasn't changed; she still has a thirst for hot chocolate; Fez knows what she means, and she asks if she can come over to his place... if there are no other women in his life. Hyde says that the only other women in Fez's life are in his head, and she should be familiar with that, since she's got a lot of people in her head too. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty has Donna over for brownies, and tells her that she saw the pictures. Donna can't believe it; Kitty explains that it was an accident. Donna asks if Kitty mailed them, and Kitty assures her that she will, as soon as she finds them. Red comes in asking about the car keys; when he sees Donna he's embarrassed, and she immediately knows that he saw the pictures too. Red explains that he was looking for the keys, and the drawer isn't meant for pictures. Donna asks where the pictures are now. At the record store, Leo opens the paper and the pictures fall out onto the counter. Hyde and Randy look at them; Hyde says, "Holy hell!" and Leo says, "I know, where's Marmaduke?" [Scene change: Hyde jumps up towards the camera.] At the record store, Donna comes in; Hyde looks at her and starts laughing. Donna asks him what's so funny, and he says that he's just a happy guy. Leo and Randy come out, and Leo says, "Oh look, it's the naked lady from the newspaper!" Hyde asks if Sam knows that Donna was licking her boots? Donna wants to know where the pictures are, and Leo says that he hid them in a Barry White album. Donna wants to know where that is, and Leo tells her that she'll have to ask the guy that he sold it to. At the apartment, Fez comes in with a Barry White album; Jackie is waiting for him in her pyjamas and has her hair braided like Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz. She tells him that there's no part for him in the movie, so she's created a new part; he can be the butler. Fez asks if she remembers Caroline, and she does; he tells her that Caroline will be coming over tonight and they'll be doing it, so Jackie has to leave. Jackie says that she's not going to leave her own apartment, so Fez tells her that she has to go to her room and stay there all night. Jackie is upset that their movie night plans have fallen through. [Scene change: Fez jumps up towards the camera.] In the Forman living room, Kitty has candles lit and is putting on music; Red comes in and asks if they've blown a fuse again? She tells him that she's making his day, pushes him into the chair and starts to dance the way that Sam taught her, taking off her gloves first and then doing the step, dip, hair, flip... and Red warns her to be careful of the candles. She loses her footing and falls into the candles; Red jumps up and throws a blanket over her to put out the fire on her head. [Scene change: Red walks across the screen, Kitty dances towards the camera.] At the apartment, Caroline tells Fez that it's really nice to sit and talk to a man, and also to be able to move her arms freely. She notices a tube of mascara on the table, and asks if there's another woman there; Fez tells her that it's his mascara. He suggests that she go to the kitchen and open some wine, as he's noticed Jackie has opened her bedroom door. With Caroline out of the way, Fez asks Jackie what she's doing, saying that she's supposed to stay in her room, and eat her yogurt; she tells him that the yogurt is two months past its expiry date and tastes like puke with peaches. She tells him that she has to go to the bathroom. Caroline shouts from the kitchen that she can't find the corkscrew, so Fez runs to the kitchen. She asks where he got the yogurt; Fez tells her that he keeps yogurt all around the apartment because he loves it so much, and to prove that he's telling the truth, he takes a spoon full and says "yum." Caroline turns around; Fez almost throws up from the yogurt. Jackie comes out of her room again and tells Fez that she can't entertain herself alone in the dark the way that he can. Fez pushes her back into the room and runs to the sofa just as Caroline comes out of the kitchen with the wine. She tells him that she thought about carving their initials into her arm, but that's something that the old, crazy Caroline would do, so instead, she carved their initials into the counter. At the record store, Donna tells Leo to think who he sold the record to, but he can't remember. She asks who he's seen today and he tells her that he saw one scraggly looking dude who was brushing his teeth; Donna points out that that was him. He says he's also seen a guy with big lips, another guy with long hair and a third guy with a thumbtack in his head; Hyde says that's the Aerosmith poster. Hyde then tells them that there is a way to make Leo remember... In the record store, in the circle, Leo remembers it was Fez that he sold the record to. [Scene change: Randy's face in a close up shot.] In the Forman living room, Kitty comes out with a scarf over her head; she tells Red that the stylist said that there wasn't enough of her hair left to salvage her old hairdo. She takes off the scarf and her hair is no longer in the 'Kitty style', it's now in a bob, and straight. Red is impressed, and tells her that it looks great. Kitty tells him that she's been trying so hard to have him notice her, and all she had to do was set her hair on fire. Red suggests that they should go upstairs and see what it looks like in the dark; Kitty tells him that they could leave the lights on. They grin at each other and run upstairs together. At the apartment, Caroline and Fez kiss, he goes to brush his teeth to get rid of the yogurt breath and sends her to the bedroom with the Barry White album. Donna comes in and wants the pictures; Fez doesn't know what she's talking about, so she explains that the nude pictures are in the Barry White album that he bought today. Fez just has time to say, "Crap," before Caroline screams from the bedroom and comes running out with the pictures in her hand. She wants to know why Fez has them and then sees Donna and demands to know what Donna is doing there. Fez says that Donna is just visiting and he lives alone; there are no other women there. Jackie comes out of her room and tells Fez that she's fed up waiting in her room. Caroline is furious that he has two women, and tells him that they can clean up his blood. She pushes Donna and Jackie onto the sofa and attacks Fez. [End credits: At the apartment, Fez tells Jackie how to make fruit salad, Don Knotts listens outside the door as Fez tells her to twist the melons, then to grab his banana. Jackie says that it's huge; The Landlord rushes in and tells them to stop immediately and calls them perverts. He sees that they're only making fruit salad... again, and wonders why they can't ever be having sex?]