At the mini-golf course, Kelso, Fez, Hyde and Eric are at the windmill hole; Eric is talking about how lucky he is to have found a Darth Vader mini action figure with the ~green~ light saber at a garage sale yesterday. Fez steps up to hit the ball and tees off as if he's at a real golf course and the guys watch as the ball sails out of the mini golf course and breaks a car window. An employee comes out of the booth -- it's Mitch. He begins insulting Eric, telling him that most people who come to the mini golf course are in kindergarten. Eric tells Mitch to watch out, but Hyde comments that Eric said the same thing to him when he'd chased Eric around with a jar of spiders, and then Eric never did anything. Eric says that he will do something about it; he steps up to hit his ball, it ricochets off the windmill and hits Mitch on the head, knocking him out.
[Scene change: Hyde and Eric doing boxing moves.]
At the hospital, Eric apologizes to Mitch for hitting him with the golf ball. Kelso tells Mitch that there's more bad news....someone vandalized the clown on the mini golf course, then adds that it won't wash off, 'cause he used permanent marker. Mitch asks Eric why the two of them are always fighting, saying that he can't remember how this happened and that they should be friends. Eric suggests that Mitch is having a reaction to his medication and that the guys should leave. As they all head for the door, Mitch begins to poke himself in the head where the ball hit him, saying "Ow" each time he does it. Eric, feeling guilty, tells Mitch that he can drop by the basement any time. Outside the hospital room, the rest of the guys ask Eric why he'd told Mitch that; Eric tells them not to worry, Mitch knew that he didn't mean it.
In the Forman basement, Mitch sits on the sofa, playing with Eric's mini Star Wars action figures. The guys walk in and are stunned to see Mitch there.
[Scene change: an above shot of Eric jumping towards the camera.]
In a Japanese restaurant, Red, Kitty, Jackie, Donna, Bob and Pam watch the cook making their meal; Bob tells them how much he loves to watch that. Red comments that he tries to avoid Asians with weapons ever since they tried to kill him in the war. Pam begins to play with Bob's hair and Jackie asks her to keep her hands off Bob while they're at the dinner table. Kitty makes some remarks about how high Pam's skirt is slit, then Bob announces that he has something to say, and tells them that he wanted them all there for a very special evening with his very special lady; he then asks Pam to move in with him. The others are all shocked; Pam tells Bob that she can't as she's seeing someone else, which shocks them all more.
[Scene change: Kelso jumping towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Mitch sits on the sofa beside Kelso, holding his finger out inches away from Kelso's face; when Kelso tells him to stop, Mitch just says that he's not touching him. Kelso tells him to stop it again, so Mitch starts poking Kelso's face, then asks, "Wasn't it better when I wasn't touching you?" Kelso agrees that it was, and they both start to laugh. Fez asks Hyde why ~they~ don't have any games the way Kelso and Mitch do; Hyde is disgusted by this, and starts arguing with Fez. Eric comes in and tries to kick Mitch out, telling him that it's almost sundown, and it's the sabbath; unfortunately for Eric, Mitch happily tells him that he's Jewish too, so he can stay. Donna and Jackie come in; Mitch asks who the gorgeous girl is and Jackie is shocked to find out that Mitch isn't talking about her. Mitch tells Donna that she's the hottest redhead he's seen since Catwoman, then asks Kelso if Donna's with him? Kelso says no, but not for lack of trying and tells Mitch that Donna's with Eric.
[Scene change: Eric making 'come on' gestures toward the camera.]
In the Forman driveway, Red is fixing the Toyota. Mitch and the rest of the gang come out; Mitch compliments Kitty, then offers to help Red with the car, telling him that he regrets not being able to do more for his country, like fight in Vietnam. Red comments that Eric's only regret is not being able to live in space.
[Scene change: Donna and Jackie jumping towards the camera.]
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Donna and Jackie are discussing Bob and Pam. Donna tells Jackie that Bob is really upset by what Pam did; Jackie says that the two of them wanted their parents to break up and now they have, so they should be happy. The two of them begin to argue about the situation, with Jackie pointing out that it's Bob's fault for asking Pam to move in so soon after meeting her. Donna points out that Bob has been nothing but nice to both Pam and Jackie. Bob comes in looking depressed. Donna, trying to cheer him up, offers to go to the pet store with him, but he says no thanks.
[Scene change: Donna dancing.]
In the Forman basement, in the circle, the gang is playing truth or dare. Kelso takes truth, and Donna asks if he's ever snuck into her bathroom? Kelso says no, but Fez says that he has. Jackie tells Hyde that if he chooses truth, the question will be 'do you love me?' and if he chooses dare, the dare will be 'tell me that you love me.' Mitch says that he dares himself to kiss Donna; Donna points out that someone else is supposed to say "Mitch kiss Donna." Mitch follows her orders and dives across the table to kiss her as the rest of the gang laughs.
[Scene change: Donna and Eric jumping towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, the gang sits around while Eric tells them that he can't believe that Mitch kissed Donna. Donna defends Mitch, saying that it didn't mean anything.
In a bar, Jackie comes in and goes over to Pam, who's sitting at the bar counter. Jackie asks her how she could do what she did to Bob, but Pam just says that Bob will be ok, then tells Jackie that the other guy she's seeing is a Lincoln dealer. Jackie starts to get excited about that, then remembers her mission, and tells Pam that she needs to remember that Bob is a good person, and tells Pam that she should be happy with what she has.
In the Forman basement, Eric comes downstairs, calling, "Hello? Is anyone here?" He decides that he's alone, and pulls his Millennium Falcon carrying case down from its hiding place. He sits down on the sofa and starts doing a Star Wars type prologue about how the characters were involved in a battle as he opens up the case. He lifts the top of the case, only to discover that his new, green light saber holding Darth Vader is missing.
In the Forman kitchen, Mitch is cooking omelets for the gang; Donna is impressed by his culinary skills. Eric comes upstairs and accuses Mitch of stealing the Darth Vader action figure. Red starts making comments about how Eric plays with "dolls", and Eric keeps telling him that it's not a doll, it's an action figure. Mitch tells Eric that he didn't take the figure; he wouldn't do that to a friend. Eric angrily tells Mitch that they're not friends and no one likes him. Mitch, clearly hurt by this, leaves. Kelso says that now he feels badly for Mitch and Donna adds that Mitch had some good qualities, the main one being that he worshipped her. Kitty comes into the kitchen holding the Darth Vader figure, and asks Eric if he was playing with his dolls in the bathtub again? Hyde tells Eric that it's becoming harder and harder to be his friend; he and Kelso leave.
At the Japanese restaurant, Bob thanks Red, Kitty, Donna and Jackie for coming back with him, even though it's the scene of his biggest humiliation. He comments that the food is good, the sake is strong, and the Japanese people are funny to watch. They all try to console him over the loss of Pam, Kitty telling him that she never even saw a panty-line on Pam, and you know what that means.... Just then, Pam walks in and tells Bob that she'd had her priorities mixed up; Jackie leans over and tells Donna that Pam got that line from her. Bob tells Pam that he's over her; Pam says that she wants to move in with him and Bob gives her a key. Donna thinks this is gross, and says that she doesn't want to see any of Pam's panties lying around the house; Kitty tells her that that won't be a problem.
At the mini golf course, Eric apologizes to Mitch for accusing him of stealing the action figure and begins to explain about how he'd left it in the bathtub, then thinks better of it and just says that Hyde took it. Mitch tells Eric that he shouldn't have jumped Donna....in front of Eric, then says that even if their friendship is over, he'll always treasure the time that he spent with Donna. Eric turns to leave; Mitch lets out a big sigh, so Eric turns back and tells him that he's welcome to join them in the basement again. Mitch says that he wants to come over now, then asks Eric if he has a chance with Donna. Eric says that Donna's his fiancee, which Mitch takes as a maybe.
[End credits: Pam sits at the counter in a bar. Kitty comes in; when she sees Pam, she nervously makes an excuse for being there, saying that she's looking for her scarf. Pam asks if Kitty wants a drink; Kitty comments that it's early, but she's sure it's 5 p.m. somewhere. Kitty orders the drinks; Pam says it's on her, but Kitty tells her that it's ok, as she has a tab there.]
Of note in this episode
The music used in this episode is: Stuck In The Middle With You, Stealers Wheel, 1973; and My Best Friend's Girl, The Cars, 1978.