In the Forman basement, Randy comes in with the new releases for the record store; Hyde looks through them, and pulls out the ABBA album then breaks it in half. Donna, looking through the records, comments that she really likes The Talking Heads, then adds that they have a girl in the band, and she's not there just for her looks. Randy tells her that he has a girl in his band, and they respect her for her talent... and for her really big boobs. He asks Donna if she'd like to come up to his cabin on the weekend and hang out with him and his band; Donna tells him that she'd promised to shave her dad's back, so yeah, she'd love to go to the cabin instead. Hyde tells Randy to go back to the store and throw the records at Barry Manilow fans; Randy leaves, and Hyde comments to Donna that she'll be having sex with Randy at his cabin this weekend; Donna says no, they're just friends. Hyde asks her if has any idea of how guys think, and she tells him that she really doesn't, since the only guy that she's really been with is Erick, and what he thought about was, "who would win in a fight: Bigfoot or Chewbacca?" Hyde tells her that guys think about three things: beer, sex, and pinball, and if they can combine the three by drinking beer while having sex on a pinball machine, well... that would be the story of how he met his wife.
At the hair salon, Jackie arrives and Fez calls her a mooch, and asks what her plans are for today? She tells him that finding work is hard, and she's just spent the whole morning at the mall, and once she finds the perfect outfit, she'll start looking for a job. Christine St. George comes out of the back room; she tells Fez that she looks wonderful. Fez asks what she's doing today, and she says that she has to cover the birth of a baby elephant at the zoo. Christine leaves; Jackie asks Fez if that was really Christine St. George, and when he confirms that it was, Jackie says that she should be working with Christine as a co-anchor on What's Up, Wisconsin?
Jackie tells Fez to picture it, and she imagines... on the set of What's Up, Wisconsin? Jackie and Christine St. George are the co-anchors; Christine tells the viewers that there's war, famine and disease, but first, their top story... Jackie Burkhart is spectacular! Jackie agrees, adding that she's also gorgeous, and Christine says that Jackie is the greatest ever...
Fez tells Jackie some breaking news: she's nuts.
[Scene change: Jackie blows kisses at the camera.]
In the Forman living room, Jackie is watching TV; Kitty comes in and comments that she loves Christine St. George. They talk about a story that Christine did about tiger cubs, and how Christine saved the day. They watch Christine's segment, and Jackie tells Kitty that she's going to write and ask Christine for a job, but Kitty suggests that Jackie just go to the office instead, saying that stars love it when fans just show up in person.
In the Forman kitchen, Red tells Hyde that he's no longer a dumb-ass kid, now he's a dumb-ass man, and because of this, Red is going to take Hyde to the Viking Lodge. Hyde asks why, and Sam comments that she stripped at a Viking Lodge in Vegas once, and someone there had a heart attack. Red tells Hyde that he needs a place to hang out and have a beer; Fez comments that sitting in a darkened room, drinking beer and talking to guys sounds boring, then announces that he's going to the basement. Hyde tells Red that he'll go to the lodge, but he's not going to wear some stupid hat.
[Scene change: Hyde peers up at the camera.]
At Randy's cabin, Donna and Randy arrive; Donna looks around and Randy makes a comment about how he likes to "rough it" every once in a while, then asks her to hook up the VCR while he microwaves some nachos. He leaves for the kitchen and Donna sees Hyde's head appear; it asks if she's had sex with Randy yet? Donna starts to think that Hyde is right about Randy; Fez's head appears and asks if someone said "get it on"? Fez's head tries to butt Hyde's head but misses and hits the wall.
[Scene change: Donna struts towards the camera.]
In the TV Station reception area, Jackie and Kitty arrive and tell the receptionist that they want to see Christine St. George, but don't have an appointment; the receptionist won't let them in even though Jackie insists that it's only for a minute, and Kitty adds that she just wants an autograph or souvenir. The receptionist tells them that she's thinking of a number; they guess "six" and she says that it's the right number. They ask if they get to go in, but the receptionist tells them no, "six" is the number of cops she's going to call. Jackie informs the receptionist that she's supposed to be Christine's co-anchor; the receptionist tells Jackie that she's supposed to be Brooke Shields
, and "ain't life a bitch?"
[Scene change: Hyde jumps up towards the camera.]
At the Viking Lodge, Red and Hyde go to the bar to have a beer; Hyde looks around at all the old men and comments that he can see why they have so many CPR posters on the walls. Two of Red's friends come over; Red introduces them to Hyde as Murph and Smitty. Murph tells Hyde that since getting married, he's half the man he used to be and his wife is twice the woman she was; Smitty tells Hyde that his wife will start nagging at him to do all the chores, like mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage and making love to her. Murph tells Hyde that his wife will finish his sentences for him, and Smitty adds that after being married so long, he just wants to finish his life. Red tells Hyde about the three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering. Hyde asks if all they do is just stand around and complain; they tell him of course not...
At the Viking Lodge, in the sauna, Murph tells Hyde that he likes him a lot better when they drink; Hyde comments that he's learning a lot at the lodge, like the fact that bras aren't just for girls. Smitty comments that it's time to release the hounds, and takes his towel off; Hyde thinks to himself, "Don't look... don't look," but then looks over and is grossed out by what he sees.
[Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.]
At the hair salon, Fez tells Christine that she's beautiful, and she replies that she loves a big kiss-ass. Fez asks about who will be the guest on the show today; she tells him it will be Pete Rose
, so she has to go and practise her slider; Fez goes to the back room to get her hair products for her. Jackie takes the opportunity to run over, grab a brush and do an audition for Christine, but Christine simply tells Jackie that she's crazy for talking into a brush. Fez comes out with a box full of products for Christine, and sprays Jackie to make her stop, then apologizes to Christine. Christine tells Jackie that she has what it takes to be an anchor on her show, but then says "Not really," and leaves, but doesn't take her box of hair products. Jackie tells Fez that she'll deliver the products to Christine, and that way, they'll have to let her in to the station; Fez doesn't want to, but Jackie bargains with him, using shower time as her leverage.
[Scene change: Donna and Randy dance across the screen.]
At Randy's cabin, Randy looks at the fire and says that it was started by a rugged outdoors man, then tells Donna that it was a good thing that the rugged outdoors man was hiking by; Donna tells him that she's not a stupid bimbo, but Randy doesn't know what she's talking about. Donna tells him to "find another groupie to grope, you gross groupie groper!" She starts yelling at him, and behind her, the rest of the band comes in and stands there, listening. Donna turns and sees them, and is surprised. Randy says that he's going to help them unload the van; Donna tells him that she thought he was trying to hit on her. Randy tells her that he's old fashioned and believes in flowers, candy and love poems, and Donna hasn't given him any of those things yet. Donna apologizes again; Randy leaves, and Hyde and Fez's heads appear to Donna again. Donna tells them that she can control them, and then makes them kiss; they try to resist her power, but can't, and kiss.
[Scene change: Donna's face in a close up shot.]
At the TV Station, in the office, Jackie arrives with the box of hair products for Christine; when Christine sees her, she tells Jackie that she has a solid career ahead of her... as a delivery person. Jackie insists that she has what it takes, and begs for a chance, adding that she knows everything about Christine. Christine isn't impressed, and points out that even a monkey could learn that, but then admits that she likes Jackie, as she has spirit... moxie... gumption... she's looking for a word, but can't find the right one. She tells Jackie that she can have the job as her assistant. Jackie is excited and wants to know if she'll get to say, "What's up, Wisconsin?"; Christine tells her that she can answer the phone any way she wants.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps up towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty comes in and asks Hyde how the lodge was; he tells her not to get him started on the "hounds" and Sam helpfully adds that the "hounds" are an old man's testicles. Hyde tells Kitty that all they do there is complain; Kitty tells him that they're just joking and asks if Red used the one about the three rings, telling Hyde that she came up with that one herself. Red comes in; he tells Hyde that the lodge doesn't want him back. Hyde asks why, and Red tells him that Smitty thought that Hyde's eyes were wandering.
[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]
At the TV Station, in the office, Jackie comments to herself that her first day of work is perfect; she takes a cup of coffee in to Christine. When Christine takes a sip, she immediately spits the coffee back into the mug and tells Jackie that she asked for half-and-half, but there's milk in the coffee; Jackie explains that she thought that they were the same thing. Christine starts yelling at Jackie that they're not the same, and then tells her that if she doesn't get it right the next time, she'll be fired. She screams that she wants what she wants, and if Jackie can't get it right, she'll get a monkey to do it, and points to a picture of a monkey pouring coffee that's hanging on the wall. She leaves; the receptionist tells Jackie not to take it too hard, as Christine sometimes flies off the handle like that, but usually, she's a real sweetheart. Jackie asks "Really?" and the receptionist laughs and says, "No... welcome to hell!"
[End credits: At the TV Station, in the office, Smitty is sitting at Jackie's desk, typing a story; Christine comes out with one of his other stories and tells him that every story he writes is about Minneapolis and he's fired, he should take a boat to China. Smitty says, "I love boats!" and leaves. Jackie comes in and asks Christine what she thinks of her new hat; it's a red beret. Christine takes the hat, and says, "This is what I think about it," and throws it in the air; the camera freezes the shot with the hat in the air.]