December 31st, 1979, 10:45 a.m.: In the Forman basement, Donna comments that it's the last day of the 70s, and the whole thing has just been a blur; Hyde says thank you. Jackie comments that she's sorry Donna's leaving, because she wanted to celebrate with her by throwing out all her boy-pants. Donna points out that classes start on Monday and Eric will be coming home today at 5 p.m. and she just wants to skip all the drama and be gone before he arrives. Hyde wonders who Fez will feel up at midnight if Donna's not there, and Donna says that she figures it will be Jackie, Fez's most recent "victim." Fez and Jackie both tell them that they haven't even kissed yet, adding that the transition from friends to dating has been awkward. Hyde asks why they're talking about these things; it's the end of the decade, and Donna is leaving, so they should be doing things that they've never done before...
In the Forman basement, in the circle, Hyde coughs and laughs.
[No opening credits, just the license plate with a '79 validation tag on it. The cast names were run during the opening sequence.]
[Scene change: Hyde peers into the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Hyde comes in and sees Kitty pouring herself a glass of wine; he comments that it's only 11:30 a.m. and wonders why she's drinking. She tells him that she doesn't want to move, but can't tell Red that. Red comes in and gives Hyde a check for all the money that Hyde had paid as rent over the years, telling Hyde that he'll need the money as he'll now have to find a place to live. Kitty comments that it'll be strange selling the house; Red agrees and says that there are some warm memories... he remembers: a montage scene of Red threatening to put his foot in various people's asses...
Hyde asks if Red ever actually did that, and Red tells him that he did once in Iwo Jima, but he can't talk about it.
[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Fez and Jackie are sitting on the couch together, listening to When I Need You
(Leo Sayer, 1976) and Jackie comments that she loves this song. As they move towards each other to kiss, Jackie begins to laugh, and blames Fez, saying that he smiled. He tells her that he was thinking of Tootsie Rolls. Jackie informs him that this is too difficult and it shouldn't be so hard; they're forcing it, and their first kiss should be spontaneous and romantic, and it's his job to arrange that. Fez says that being the guy sucks, not just because of having to plan the perfect kiss, but also because the shoe selection is bad.
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty comes in and Hyde hands her an envelope, telling her that what's inside might convince Red to stay; she opens it up and finds season tickets to the Packers, which Red has been waiting for for a long time. Randy comments that his grandfather was on the waiting list for Packers' tickets for 30 years, and was 90 years old when he finally got them. Kitty asks Hyde how he got the tickets; he tells her that he spent the rent-money check that Red gave him. Kitty is happy, sure that this will convince Red to stay and wants to hug Hyde, but says that she won't because she knows he doesn't like it. She hugs him anyway, and won't let go.
[Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera, Randy and Hyde are dancing in the background.]
At the water tower, Fez tells Hyde that he has to find the perfect place for his first kiss with Jackie, and he'd like to use the water tower, but he can't because it's ruined; he points to the sign that Kelso painted on the water tower that says "Michael + Jackie", and says that it's like following Sinatra. Hyde agrees that they've had some good times at the tower, and then adds that he really likes the way that people got down from the tower... he remembers: a montage scene of various people (mostly Kelso, but some others) falling off the water tower...
Fez points out that the tower is a dangerous place. Just then, Kelso arrives; Hyde and Fez are shocked to see him, but he tells them that he couldn't ring in the new year without his friends. Hyde suggests the perfect way to end the year: they should all jump off the tower. Kelso thinks this is a great idea, and steps over the railing, not noticing that Hyde and Fez only put one leg over. As Hyde starts to count to three, Kelso finally realizes that they're not going to jump and stops them; Hyde tells Kelso that he can count, and that way, they'll all have to jump, which makes Kelso happy. He counts to three and jumps; Hyde and Fez stay on the tower and laugh.
[Scene change: Kitty and Fez dance on the screen.]
In the Forman driveway, Kitty and Hyde are waiting for Red to come home from the airport with Eric; Kitty is excited. Donna comes over and Hyde is surprised to see her, commenting that he'd thought that she'd left for Madison a few hours ago. She says that she just wanted to see Eric one last time, but she's over him. The car pulls into the driveway, and Donna asks if her hair is okay. Red gets out of the Vista Cruiser... alone. He tells them that Eric missed his flight. Donna is very upset, and says that it's typical of Eric, and that he's an inconsiderate jerk and she's glad that she's finished with him. She leaves.
[Scene change: Hyde jumps up towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Hyde and Kelso come in and catch up on what's new with each other; Kelso says that he's been promoted to Supervisor and is now the guy who says "Don't touch" at the Playboy Club. He asks about Hyde's wife, and when he hears that she's gone, he comments that it's probably for the best anyway, because he would have just ended up "doing it" with her; Hyde punches Kelso and Kelso tells him that now his arm is all tingly... just like Hyde's wife would have been after he did it with her. Hyde punches Kelso again; Kelso comments that he's missed this, and remembers... a montage scene of Hyde punching Kelso numerous times...
Kelso comments that he still has the BB in his leg from when Hyde shot him, and he plays with it when he gets bored... just like he would have done with Hyde's wife. Kelso jumps up over the back of the couch, but Hyde manages to push him, and he falls to the floor. He comes up laughing, and tells Hyde that his tooth is loose.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air and blows kisses at the camera.]
At the water tower, Jackie and Fez climb up to the catwalk; Fez tells her that they have a lot of history together, so to make things easier, he's rewritten some of that history; he points to the sign that used to say "Michael + Jackie"; it now says "Michael + Fez." Fez groans and tells Jackie that it was dark out when he painted over it; she thinks that it's romantic anyway. They move closer together and kiss; they both agree that it was a really nice kiss, and kiss again.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air; Fez lounges behind her and points at the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Red comments that he likes Florida after reading in the paper that they've reinstated the death penalty; Kitty gives him the envelope, which he opens. He's surprised by the Packer tickets, but says that it's too bad he'll have to give them away; he knows how much Kitty wants to go to Florida, and he wouldn't make her stay in Point Place. Kitty finally admits to Red that she doesn't want to move and was just afraid to tell him because he'd been so happy recently. She says that this is her home, and she just doesn't want to leave; Red tells her that it's okay, and they can stay in Point Place. He adds that his home is with her, and she hugs him.
[Scene change: Hyde looks into the camera.]
In the Forman living room, New Year's Eve, 11:22 p.m., Donna arrives; Hyde tells her that Eric's still not there and gives her a beer. Red announces that he and Kitty aren't going to be moving after all; Kitty tells everyone that she just would have missed them all so much, and then goes through and tells each one what she would have missed about them, ending with Donna. Kitty tells her that she'll always love her like a daughter and she's sorry that things didn't work out between Donna and Eric. They hug, and Donna, who seems to be near tears, says that she has to go out and get some air. As Donna leaves the room, Kitty asks if anyone has heard anything from Laurie? No one has; Red apologizes to Bob for not moving to Florida, and Bob says that he'll miss Red and hugs him. Kelso comes in and asks if he can set off his four-foot bottle rocket in the house; Kitty tells him that the girls at the Emergency Department have missed him; they all toast the new year and Red's last "foot in ass" comment.
In the Forman driveway, Donna sits on the hood of the Vista Cruiser (with Thirteen
by Big Star (1972) playing in the background) and remembers... her relationship with Eric from the beginning, all the good times, the laughter, the romantic times, and their first kiss...
From off-camera, we hear Eric wish Donna a Happy New Year; Donna is shocked to see him and he tells her that he got the last flight. He comments that the situation is awkward; Donna says that she's going to college, and asks if he's only home for new year's eve? He tells her that when he left, he was sure that he was doing the right thing, but now... Donna interrupts him and says that everything's changed. Eric knows this, but tells her that he thought about her every day, and that he's sorry. He admits that Red was right... he ~is~ a dumb ass. Donna is crying, and kisses him passionately. They sit on the hood of the Vista Cruiser together, just like old times; they hear the music from the house, and Eric comments that he's not ready to go in and see everyone yet, he just needs something to take the edge off...
In the Forman basement, in the circle, Eric says that the edge is officially off. Fez tells Eric that he has incredible news: he's kissed Jackie; Hyde points out that ~everyone~ has kissed Jackie. Kelso adds that it makes sense that Jackie's with Fez now... she started with him, the Ferrari, then moved to Hyde, the Mustang, and now is with Fez, the donkey cart. Eric gives Kelso a plastic rhino horn for his daughter, which Kelso thinks is great. Donna and Jackie come down and tell the guys that it's almost midnight, and Kitty's opening the champagne. The gang heads upstairs, and Eric announces that the last one up has to call Red a dumb ass; they all race up the stairs, and Kelso is last, so he grabs the "stupid helmet" on his way up, and puts it on. As he disappears up the stairs, we hear the cast counting down to midnight, and the sound of fireworks at 12:00 a.m. The license plate shows on screen, with a '80 validation tag on the corner.
[End credits: The gang is in the Vista Cruiser, singing along with Hello It's Me
(1972) by Todd Rundgren; they're coming home from the Todd Rundgren concert... that they went to in That '70s Pilot