That '70s Show Season 1 Episode 1

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Red: If I find one beer can in that car, it's over!
Kitty: And no donuts either! Ants!

Donna: Oh, have I told you how incredibly attractive you are Eric?
Eric: No.
Kelso: You told me he was cute.
Donna: No I didn't.
Kelso: I remember, 'cause you said not to say anything in front of Eric.

(Eric's car battery is dead)
Randy (The Mechanic): So, what, you want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery.
Eric: Are they cheap, or possibly free?
Randy (The Mechanic): Thirty-two bucks, minimum.
Kelso: Alright, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our battery plus five bucks for one of your batteries.

Fez: I might not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?

Kelso: What happened to your dad's hair?
Donna: He got a permanent.
Kelso: So that's permanent?

Bob: Red, a Toyota?
Red: Yeah, it's mine. I tell you the last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.

Donna: I think Canada closes at 9:30.

Kelso: Jackie's good for gas money.
Eric: You are such a whore.
Fez: When does the boat get here, whore?

Eric: Ever since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, I've known you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad.
Donna: Eric, it's a car.
Kelso: Let's just leave these two kids alone.

Kelso: Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving.
Donna: And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.

Hyde: In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.

Donna: Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.
Eric: Really? And there I was all day long on the hippity hop.

Fez: I, too, must go to the bathroom. Eric?
Eric: No, it doesn't work that way with guys.