That '70s Show

Season 5 Episode 17

The Battle of Evermore (a.k.a. Pioneer Days)

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 26, 2003 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • In the scene where Eric and Red are supposed to be chopping logs, you can clearly see that the other team's logs are already vertically cut in half.

    • Jackie: If we had a credit card, I'd be butt-deep in Jordache right now.

      Jordache was the name of a popular designer brand of jeans in the 70s.

    • Eric (to Red): Well, let's see... you took away my keys, so I can't drive, and you took away my job, so I can't afford a new hubcap. You also took away my self-esteem, so I have no pride in my job or my possessions.

      Red took away the Vista Cruiser in I Can't Quit You Baby as a punishment for Eric going to California; he fired Eric from his job at Price Mart in Whole Lotta Love.

    • Hyde: Man, I don't know what the hell the deal is with Leo. He told me to take a week off from the Foto Hut two weeks ago, and I haven't heard from him since.

      This is the first time that the show addresses Leo's absence. His last appearance in an episode was in season 4, in Eric's False Alarm. In reality, Tommy Chong was arrested and in September 2003 was sentenced to 9 months in jail for distributing drug paraphernalia.

  • Quotes

    • Charlie: You let me down, Son. I thought you were better than that.
      Mitch: Oh, what are you gonna do, lock me in the closet again? (to everyone) He locks me in the closet!
      Charlie: It's a walk-in!

    • Charlie: Mitch, they're winning! What happened to your magic fingers?
      Mitch: Get off my back, old man!

    • Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumb-ass with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.
      Hyde: That was, like, eight burns in one sentence.
      Donna: An octoburn! Let's get the hell out of here.

    • Charlie: Well, howdy, newcomers. I'm Charlie Miller. You can call me Charlie. This is my son, Mitch.
      Mitch: You can call me Ladies' Man.
      Charlie (laughs): Ladies' Man.
      Mitch: Did somebody call me?
      Red: I'm Red Forman. This is my son, Eric. You can call him dumb-ass.

    • (when they find someone lying on Leo's apartment floor)
      Kelso: I'm going to kick him, see if he's okay.
      Hyde: No!
      Kelso: Well, at least throw something at him. If he's asleep, he'll wake up, and if he's dead, you can say you threw something at a dead guy.

    • Kitty: Well, I found out how much cider is too much cider.
      Donna: A barrel?
      Kitty: Shut it!

    • Kitty: For gosh sakes, you've been arguing for two weeks! Now stop it! Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a four-letter word for 'disappointment'.
      Red: Eric.
      (she looks at the puzzle and gasps)
      Kitty: It fits! (Eric stares at her) Well, now, that can't be right!

    • Jackie: You know, one time, I heard Leo talking on the phone, and he was speaking Chinese. So, I said, "Leo! Stop speaking Chinese!" So he turned around, and it wasn't Leo! It was a Chinese guy!

    • Fez: I'd like to do it with Nina in an alley. My bare ass... pressed up against a cold dumpster....

    • Eric: I don't care what my dad says. I am more committed to this marriage then ever.
      Donna: Well, after seeing how you handled that cow, so am I.

    • Kelso: Leo never liked phones. He said he could hear voices in them.

    • (after Eric wins a cow-milking contest)
      Eric: So, Dad,... what do you say now?
      Red: (suspiciously) Why are you so good at that?

    • Joanne: Babe the Blue Ox needs lots of calcium to carry Paul Bunyan's lumber, or his brittle bones will snap and he'll die. The first team to fill their barrel with milk and save Babe from osteoporosis wins.

    • Kelso: Hey, if I can't use words I don't understand, this is going to be one quiet afternoon.

    • Eric: Alright, Dad, they have a catchphrase. What's ours?
      Red: Shut up, Dumbass.
      Eric: Yeah, 'Shut up, Dumbass.' Okay, yeah!

    • (Eric is wearing a coonskin cap)
      Donna (to Eric): I'd kiss you, but I'm afraid your hat will wake up and scratch my eyes out.

    • Kelso: [Red]'s a total hard ass.
      Fez: Hard ass? Take another look, my friend, it jiggles when he wiggles.

  • Notes

    • Bobcat Goldthwait was credited as "Special Guest Appearance", and his name was listed as 'Bob Goldthwait'.

    • Garvin Eddy (Production Designer) and Tara Stephenson (Set Decorator) were nominated for an Emmy in the category of "Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series" for their work on this episode.

  • Allusions

    • Red: You know, we're getting killed here thanks to you screwing up that last event. All you had to do was build a cabin out of Lincoln Logs!
      Eric: Well, I thought I'd score some extra points by building the Millennium Falcon. Red: The Millennium what? If that's a Star Wars thing, I'm going to kick you in the ass.
      Eric: It's not a Star Wars thing. It's a very rare falcon... that can do the Kessel run in under six parsecs.

      Star Wars (1977) comes up many times in this series, and Eric is an avid fan of the movie. However, in the movie, Han Solo brags to Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi that the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.

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