That '70s Show

Season 5 Episode 11

The Girl I Love

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Jan 07, 2003 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, the guys look at the Sport Illustrated Swimsuit issue; Kelso says that Playboy should put out a swimsuit issue, adding that he gets tired of all the nudity sometimes. Eric and Donna come in and Eric tells the guys that he and Donna had a great time at the arboretum, adding that they should all come with them the next time. Donna leaves; Eric tells the guys that the arboretum was horrible, and he can't take much more of doing girly things with Donna. Fez says that Nina is hot and not mean, like Donna. The guys say that they've never seen Nina, and they're starting to wonder if she's real. Fez points out that Kelso saw her at the DMV, but Kelso says that there were lots of girls there, and Nina could have been any one of them, including the one with the lazy eye. [Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera.] At the DMV, Fez tells Nina that his friends doubt that she's his girlfriend. She says that she's not quite sure that she wants to be his girlfriend yet, and wants to meet his friends before she decides. This is exactly what Fez wants; they start to kiss and all the people in the line up begin to wonder if they're in the right line, so Fez puts up a "Next Window Please" sign. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: a shot from below as Hyde, Fez and Kelso walk across the screen.] In the Forman kitchen, Eric says that they're finally going to meet Nina, Fez shows off his hickey and says that it's not fictional, and the gang decides that it's real, unlike the one that he made himself with a vacuum cleaner. Kitty is happy that he found a girl, because she was starting to worry. She says that they should have a dinner party tomorrow night for meeting Nina; Eric says that tomorrow night isn't good because he's going to see Laser Floyd, but Donna says that they'll be there. Jackie says that she and Hyde will be there too. In the Forman basement, Jackie talks about what she wants to buy Hyde to wear to the party, he tells her he'll wear it when hell freezes over. He tells her that she should have asked before she said he'd go, and he's not going. She leaves, and Eric complains about having to do what Donna wants, but then comments that it's only one day. Hyde tells him not to go, saying that it's not just one day, it's his whole life, because they're engaged now. Eric realizes that Hyde's right. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty unpacks a box with wine in it; Red wants to know why she has so much wine and she tells him about the party tomorrow night. Red tells her that he plans on watching The Battle of the Network Stars, and he's been looking forward to it all season, as it makes him feel superior when he sees Ed Asner paddling a canoe. Kitty starts to freak out, so Red says he'll be there. Kelso comes in and hears them talking about the party; Kitty tells him that she invited all the kids. Kelso points out that he's a kid, and didn't get invited; Kitty points out that it's for couples, so he can come if he brings a date. Kelso says it's too late, he's good looking but he's not a miracle worker. [Scene change: Fez struts towards the camera, Hyde and Kelso are on swings.] In the Forman driveway, Fez tells the gang to avoid talking about his addiction to candy, his needs, and his use of Alberto V-05 hot oil treatment, which he doesn't use on his hair. Kelso comes out and says he's glad he's not going; Eric says he's only going because of Donna and Hyde says no one's making him go. Jackie orders him to go, and they argue. Kelso says he'll go with her, and she agrees. [Scene change: Kelso struts towards the camera, as Donna walks across the screen.] In the Forman living room, Kitty has 'after dinner conversation cards', and asks where they would fly if they were birds? Donna doesn't know, Eric would fly to Laser Floyd, Kelso would fly to Tahiti, Nina would fly to the DMV, her favourite place. Fez says that he was just about to say the same thing; Red says he would fly into a ceiling fan. ...Later, Hyde comes in and Jackie's happy he's there, but he's only there because he was hungry. Red hands Nina a parking ticket that he got, and asks her to make it go away; Fez says he'll take care of it, but Nina says that Red broke the law and has to pay. Kitty shows up with more conversation cards, and asks Red whose shoes he'd be; Donna says not Red's because it's going in someone's ass. Red and the guys leave to watch Battle of the Network Stars. Fez goes too, because Nina wouldn't fix Red's ticket. [Scene change: Donna dances across the screen, Jackie is on a swing.] In the Forman kitchen, as they do the dishes, Donna comments that Eric is acting weird; and she only came to the dinner party because Kitty wanted her to; they all agree that they all did it for someone else; Jackie says that she isn't there for anyone but herself. Donna points out that Jackie should stop bossing Hyde around. In the Forman basement, Kelso laughs at the guys for hiding from their women. Eric says he stood up to Donna but Hyde points out that he just babbled. Eric says Hyde caved by showing up in a tie; Hyde says he didn't, and says that the tie is because he just came from a business meeting. Red says that Hyde fought but Eric just gave up. When the guys accuse Red of caving, Red says he fought for 30 years and now he just does what Kitty wants so he can sleep. Eric says that Fez is their last hope, and it'll be like their own Battle of the Network Stars, and tells them to think about it... Kelso is the host for Battle of the Gender Stars, where the girls are pitted against the guys; the girls have 50 points and guys have nothing, but the last challenge is 51 points. Jamie Farr switches to the girls' team, saying that he can do that because he wears a dress on TV. Fez and Nina do the challenge; they battle with padded sticks while standing on a beam over a pit of mud; she tells him that they're going antiquing and he knocks her off the beam in to the mud. The guys go upstairs to get their cajones back, but Kelso stays downstairs, because he still has his cajones... his lonely cajones. In the Forman kitchen, the guys come up; Fez tells Nina that she has to do what he says, but she says it's not going to happen, so he asks if he does everything she wants will she be his girlfriend? Nina says yes. Kitty says she's not speaking to Red; he says it'll be quiet for sleeping. Eric starts to talk to Donna but she's gone, so he goes after her. Jackie admits to Hyde that she's bossy and says that she'll ask first if she wants him to do something, and then asks him to come to the girl scout alumni pancake breakfast. Hyde says that he would say no, but since she asked nicely, he'll go. Jackie tells him to bring his flipper, because she signed him up to serve pancakes. In the Pinciotti kitchen, Eric comes in and Donna tells him that she's through doing stuff for him because he doesn't appreciate it. She says that she went to the dinner party for his mother, and went to the arboretum only because he wanted to go. He says that he didn't want to go, and that was all just a misunderstanding. Eric says that he thought that she was going to make him do girly crap for the rest of his life, and he asks her to go to Laser Floyd next weekend; she says they can't because she signed him up for a neat class: quilting for couples. She starts to laugh and then says that she's joking because it's really just for men. [End credits: In the Forman living room, Red is asleep, dreaming of Battle of the Network Stars; he's getting a trophy for winning the canoeing challenge, and Jamie Farr is with him. Red thanks Ed Asner for paddling like a girl.]
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