Point Place, Wisconsin, Saturday Afternoon; Eric Forman's Basement, 12:07 p.m. Eric lies on the sofa, alone, watching American Bandstand
on tv. He begins to dance along with the music when Jackie walks in. She tells him that she really needs a friend to talk to and since no one else is around, she wants to talk to him. She tells him that she thinks she's pregnant.
In the Forman driveway, Donna and Eric are playing basketball. Donna has the ball, and Eric isn't even trying to play. Donna asks him what the problem is; they sit in the Vista Cruiser for privacy and he tells her the gossip about Jackie.
[Scene change: As flowers swirl in the background, Jackie says, "Of course I support the Wolverines. I have to. I'm a cheerleader, not a cheer liar."]
At The Hub, the gang sits around talking. Donna comes in and tells Jackie that she has to go to the bathroom. After they leave, Kelso says that he's thinking of breaking up with Jackie; Eric yells at him to grow up.
In the bathroom, Donna asks Jackie if it's true that she's pregnant and Jackie says yes. She tells Donna that having a child will ruin her whole life -- she'll be too fat to be a cheerleader. Donna tells her that they'll get through this then asks what Kelso has to say about the pregnancy. Jackie says that she hasn't told Kelso yet; it's too embarrassing. Donna tells her that she has to tell Kelso, and if Jackie doesn't, she will. Jackie takes this as an offer, and thanks Donna. They hear a crash from the restaurant area; they come out of the bathroom and see Kelso on passed out on the floor. "I think he knows," Jackie says.
In the Forman kitchen, Red, Kitty and Laurie are eating dinner. Kitty wonders why Laurie has come home for spring break rather than going to Fort Lauderdale. Laurie claims that it's no big deal; she just didn't feel like going away. Eric and Kelso come in; Eric has the mail and Laurie jumps to get to it first. She flips through it frantically, then happily says, "Nothing!" and hands the envelopes to Red. Eric apologizes for being late and starts making excuses; Red tells him to take responsibility for his actions. "That's real easy for you to say!" Kelso yells at Red, then storms out of the house, much to the shock of everyone there.
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Donna talks to Midge about her "friend" who's pregnant. Midge thinks it's Donna and has a horrible flashback to when she was 16. Donna insists that it's not her and tells her mother that she's a little worried because the friend had one night of fun and now her whole life is ruined. Midge tells her that sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment and the backseat of a car is no place to be worrying about birth control.
On the Forman's porch, the guys sit around talking about Jackie's pregnancy. Kelso says that he's going to do the right thing and be responsible. Hyde says that being married is scary, but being married to Jackie is terrifying.
At the drugstore, Eric and Laurie wait in line. Eric tells Laurie that he's noticed her hanging around the mailbox a lot, and figures out that she's looking for her grades because she's flunking out of college. As Eric gets to the counter and asks for the pictures he's there to pick up, Bob comes in and stands behind Eric. He's there to pick up a prerscription, which he thinks is cough syrup, so he's shocked when he's told how much it costs. The pharmacist pulls the item out of the bag and reads the label, "Pinciotti, Donna. Ortho-Novum." When Bob asks what that is, the pharmacist explains that it's birth control pills. Bob is shocked, Eric is terrified, and Laurie is happy that she's got something on Eric.
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Bob comes in calling for Midge. The scene cuts to:
A 1950s-style black and white movie called "Open For Business", where we meet Bob, a typical father, and his daughter Donna, who's growing up. Donna is dressed in a black evening gown with long gloves. The guys come in wearing tuxedos and crowd around her; the announcer tells us that now that Donna's growing up, she's open for business. The announcer invites Bob to see something: at The Hub, Donna is behind the counter, with a line-up of men waiting to kiss her. The announcer explains that now that she's on the pill, she can have sex with lots of different men, not just Eric.
In the Forman diningroom, The family is eating dinner. Eric looks morose; Kitty asks him why he's not eating and asks if he's sick. Laurie asks if something happened at the pharmacy, causing Red to ask what happened at the pharmacy; he then asks Kitty what happened to the mail. Laurie says that there was no mail and Kitty comments that the mail keeps disappearing. Eric says that he saw Laurie with a University of Wisconson envelope sticking out of her bra and asks what that's about. To take the attention away from herself, Laurie blurts out that Donna's on the pill. Red tells Eric that dinner's over and he's to go in the kitchen now.
In the Forman kitchen, Eric sits while Kitty and Red stand in front of him, giving him a sex-talk. Kitty is very understanding, telling Eric that she knows they can't stop him from doing what he wants to do, telling him that sex isn't dirty, and giving him advice about foreplay. Red, of course, is disagreeing with everything that Kitty says, telling Eric that the best birth control is to not do it at all, and he should respect Donna by keeping his hands off of her. Eric is very uncomfortable during the talk.
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Midge and Bob discuss Donna's birth control. Midge says she's proud to have a daughter who's so responsible. Bob is upset, and asks her to imagine how he felt standing there with Eric while the pharmacist handed him birth control pills. Just as he says this, Donna comes in and is angry to find out that Eric knows. She grabs the pills and leaves the kitchen. Midge says that the fact that Donna and Eric are dating is all the more reason for her to be on the pill; Bob says that Donna is not going to get pregnant, but Midge points out that it happened to them.
In the Forman kitchen, Laurie holds an envelope over a steaming kettle. Donna comes in and asks if Eric is there. Laurie tells her he's at The Hub, then asks Donna to watch the kitchen door for her. She opens the envelope and changes her grades before Red sees them. As Donna is about to leave, Laurie tells her that going on the pill was a smart move.
In the Forman driveway, Jackie comes running up to Donna as she leaves the Forman's house. She has great news: she's not pregnant. She says that she's so relieved and now she can just forget about the whole thing, but Donna says that she's not going to let Jackie forget about it. She tells Jackie that she went on the pill. "Oh my God, you are going to be so popular," Jackie tells her. Donna says that she didn't do it to be popular, she did it so that she doesn't get stuck in Point Place; when the ERA passes, she'll be able to do whatever she wants, and so will Jackie if she doesn't screw it up.
At The Hub, the guys sit around talking about Donna being on the pill. Kelso is face-down on the table. Fez points out that with something so simple available, it makes no sense that Kelso got Jackie pregnant. Hyde suggests that Eric break up with Donna to avoid the pressure of all that worry-free sex. Kelso says that he wishes that Jackie had thought about going on the pill and that he should have broken up with her when he had the chance. Donna and Jackie come in; Jackie tells Kelso that she's not pregnant. Kelso is jubilant, until Jackie breaks up with him, telling him that she learned something from this, and she's not going to let anything stand in the way of her dream to become a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.
In the Forman driveway, Eric and Donna sit on the hood of the Vista Cruiser. Donna can't believe that everyone, including Eric's parents, knows that she's on the pill. Eric tells her about his sex-talk with his parents, making her laugh. She tells him that she doesn't want him to think that her being on the pill changes anything between them. Eric says, "But it could." She agrees, and tells him that they have to wait for the right time. Eric starts asking, "How about now?......now?.....now?" Donna laughs and leaves. Red comes out from behind the house and sprays Eric with the hose, knocking him off the car and telling him, "It's for your own good, son."
[End credits: In the Pinciotti kitchen, Bob, Midge, Red and Kitty are playing cards. The only talking that they're doing is about the cards, but all of them are uncomfortable, and we hear their thoughts; Red and Kitty both thinking that Midge and Bob hate them; Bob thinking that if Eric touches Donna, he'll kill him; and Midge who says, "This is fun!" and thinks the same thing.]
Of note in this episode:
This is the second time that Jackie has broken up with Kelso. The first time was in Ski Trip
In Fez's native language, "mukatots" means feet.