That '70s Show

Season 3 Episode 4

Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Oct 31, 2000 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, the gang watches an Alfred Hitchcock movie marathon; Fez comes in dressed like Frank 'N Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show; Kelso says that he's dressed like a girl, and not a nice girl. Eric wants him to put on pants. Donna asks if Eric wants to do something fun for Halloween; Kelso complains about having to go to a stupid party with Laurie and her friends. Donna tells Eric that maybe there's something that they could do... together, but Eric just says, "I doubt it." Donna's upset that he's bored with her; Eric claims that he's bored of the town, not her. Kelso says that it would be weird if they were in a Hitchcock movie and didn't know it. Fez says that they should do something; Eric can't even look at Fez because of the way he's dressed, so just bounces a super ball. Fez grabs it and runs outside... In the Forman back yard, Eric chases Fez. Fez climbs up on the roof of the garage; Eric follows, and almost falls off, but hangs from the gutters, looking scared. In the Forman basement, Kelso says they should go out and watch Eric and Fez, because someone might get hurt, and that's always fun. On top of the Forman garage, Fez tries to save Eric, but then falls off the roof himself. [Opening credits: names are in a Halloween font, the music has harpsichord and Halloween sounds in it.] [Scene change: Eric and Fez dance, there's a jack'o lantern in the corner of the screen.] In Eric's bedroom, Kitty bandages Fez's ankle, Red calls them dumb-asses. Kitty says Fez needs to cover up, so Eric gets a blanket from the top of the closet, then has a vertigo attack. Hyde catches him when he falls. Kitty covers Fez up. Kelso and Jackie come in; Kelso says Fez is stupider than him; he and Jackie leave. Kitty notices that Midge's car is in the driveway but Kitty hasn't seen her in days. Hyde says maybe she went to the store and got lost; Kitty laughs then leaves. Eric gives Fez binoculars so he can look at naked Midge from the window of Eric's bedroom. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty asks Red to take some soup up to Fez; Kitty says that the crazy lady next door wants her to feed her birds while she's away, so Red has to take the soup to Fez. In the neighbor's house, Kitty goes in and sees the birds which are bigger than she expected. One flies into the window, they all start to squawk at her - they're crows. She picks up the bird that flew into the window; it seems to be dead. In the Forman living room, Red is watching TV; Kelso comes in and tells Red about the movie that he's watching - Mistaken Identity. The doorbell rings, Kelso says he'll get it but Red says not to because it's the paperboy and Red doesn't have money for him. Red says that Kelso has to pay if he opens the door; Kelso answers and says that there are no Formans there, but he's wearing a shirt with "Forman" on it, so the paperboy doesn't believe him; Kelso tells him that it's a case of Mistaken Identity. Kelso shuts the door on him. In Eric's bedroom, Fez sees Bob dragging something into the house in big garbage bags; Hyde asks if there's any sign of Midge yet. Fez suggests that maybe it's Midge inside the bags. In the Forman living room, Kitty tells Red that she killed a bird, and he laughs. She says that she can't go back to the house and she needs someone else to go feed the birds; someone who won't flinch in the face of evil; Laurie comes in and Kitty offers her 10 dollars to feed the birds. On the Forman porch, Donna's worried that Eric's bored with her, Jackie says that they are a boring couple. Donna tries to come up with fun things that she and Eric do, but Jackie just points out how predictable their relationship is. Donna grabs her head, saying "boring!" and we see her on a pinwheel, screaming in horror. [Scene change: Kelso falls towards the camera, Jackie dances, there is an orange background with spider webs.] At the neighbor's house, Laurie tries to feed the birds, but when she opens the first bird cage, a bird poops on her arm; she runs out, screaming. In Eric's bedroom, the guys see a hot blonde at the Pinciotti's place; Eric realizes that it's Donna and says he's going to follow her. As he leans out the window, he gets vertigo again and faints. Hyde catches him, then Eric leaves. Hyde sees Bob with a big knife and wearing an apron with guts all over it. In the Forman driveway, Kelso waits for Laurie; he's wearing a suit; he hears a buzzing and then the paperboy appears with a remote control airplane, and uses it to chase Kelso around the driveway, then crashes it into the back wall of the garage as Kelso falls. The paperboy comes in and takes the money from his wallet. In the Forman living room, Kelso tells Kitty that he's using their shower, and that they should pay the paperboy. He goes upstairs. Laurie comes in and Kitty asks if she fed the birds; Laurie says yes, then maybe, then yells that Kitty didn't either. She runs upstairs. In Eric's bedroom, Fez looks into the Pinciotti house and sees Hyde with beer. Hyde then moons Fez and runs off; Bob comes in and looks up, right at Fez, who tries to turn off the light, but just manages to make it flash on and off. In the Forman bathroom, Kelso gets undressed for a shower; he's wearing Incredible Hulk underwear. He gets into the shower, and as he showers, the door opens; Laurie comes in and opens the curtain, and hits him with a scrub brush saying that she needs the shower because she got pooped on, then yells at him for spilling her shampoo, which is red. We see the red shampoo going down the drain, like the blood in the Psycho shower scene. In Eric's bedroom, Fez sits in the dark and takes pictures of Bob when he comes in; Hyde comes in and turns on the light. Fez says that Bob can't kill him like he killed Midge; Bob says Midge is in Chicago visiting her sister; they don't believe him. He explains the guts on his apron by saying he was carving pumpkins - then sees Midge out the window. Fez looks and she's taking off her top; Bob yells for her to stop then runs out as Fez ad Hyde argue over the binoculars. At the water tower, Donna's at the top, Eric has to climb he has pinwheel vertigo attack. But he makes it to the top and asks what she's doing up there. She says she's not boring, and that she saw him spying on her, which Eric admits once he realizes that saying that he was teaching Fez to spy on her naked mother isn't a good thing to say. They kiss, and Eric falls off, hanging on by one hand; Donna pulls him up, but then he falls for real. At the neighbor's house, Kitty goes in and all the birds are loose, squawking at her and she has a pinwheel attack of screaming; she sees a phone booth in the middle of the living room, and says, "oh, that's lucky!" She goes into the phone booth, and the birds attack, like in The Birds.... she wakes up on the living room sofa, and says that she can't go back there. In Eric's bedroom, he's in a cast, says that he'll be able to go back to the water tower when he's better; Donna says something happened to her at the water tower too. He asks if it was vertigo, and she says no, fear of sex. Eric has a pinwheel screaming attack. [End credits: Eric, Donna, Kelso, Hyde, Jackie, Fez, Red, Kitty, Bob, Midge, and Laurie on the pinwheel background while the theme song plays with halloween sound effects.]