That '70s Show

Season 8 Episode 9

Who Needs You

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Jan 19, 2006 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, Hyde and Sam come out of his room, arguing, she takes the last of his beer and stalks off, he tells Randy and Jackie that he wins because he put out a cigarette in the beer. Jackie asks what's going on, commenting that they're fighting like cats and whores; Hyde comments that the honeymoon is over and once the thrill of being married to a stripper wears off, all you're left with is a wife who always has change for a five. Donna comes in and tells them that she's got great news; she's going to be doing a fund-raiser for the Children's Library on the air, and she's told her boss that she'll stay on until she raises $500. She thanks Hyde for letting the radio station use his record store for the fund-raiser; Hyde didn't know about it, and Randy tells him that he was asleep in the office when the arrangements were made. Sam comes out of the bedroom and dumps Hyde's stuff on the sofa; she tells him that she took all his stuff off the bed, and when he asks why, she tells him that they're going to use it for make-up sex... unless he wants to use the shower? Hyde comments that the honeymoon is back on, and follows her into the bedroom.

[Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.]

In Fez and Jackie's apartment, Fenton puts a letter under the door, then sees Fez in the hall; Fez says he's in no mood to talk, but Fenton tells him that he's done a little shuffling with the parking spaces,and Fez now has space "Z". Fez points out that that's a dangerous spot; the two of them argue over it, and end by turning their backs on each other to fume silently. Fez realizes that he has to walk past Fenton to get into his apartment; he goes in and finds Jackie on the sofa; she asks how his day was, and when he says it was tough, she tells him that hers was too as the soap operas were pre-empted by some hostage crisis. Fez goes to the kitchen and opens the fridge; he asks Jackie if she drank his last grape soda, which she did. He tells her that he was looking forward to having that soda all day, and even made up a song about it. Fez tells Jackie that he gave her a place to live, but she's being a mooch and she needs to shape up or put out; Jackie tells him that the saying is "Shape up or ship out," and Fez asks, "What's in that for me?"

[Opening credits.]

[Scene change: Hyde looks at the camera.]

In the Forman kitchen, Sam tells Hyde that she hates it when he reads the newspaper at breakfast; he tells her that he knows, and that's why he's doing it. He reads his horoscope and tells her that it says he's living with a bitch. After they've both left, Kitty tells Red that the two of them are fighting so much because they're packed into Hyde's little room in the basement, and they must need more space; Red suggests kicking them out entirely, but this isn't what Kitty was considering: she wants to give them Eric's room.

[Scene change: Red walks across the screen, Kitty sits and swings her legs.]

At the record store, Donna is on the air, beginning her fund raiser. She makes her plea for donations, and Randy comes over and drops some change into the jar. Donna counts it; it's 68 cents; she asks how he decided on that total as a donation and he tells her that he just bought something that cost 32 cents. Donna informs the listeners that money is covered in germs and so they should get rid of it by giving it to her. Randy asks her if he can go on the air and do his fake English accent.

[Scene change: Randy and Donna walk across the screen.]

At the record store, Donna tells the listeners that it's been two hours, and she's nowhere near her goal, and that she understands that some of her fans are in prison, but suggests to those that aren't that they rob a bank if they have to in order to make a donation. Leo comes over and tells her that it's great, what she's doing and that they haven't had a trash can in the store in ages; he drops a gum wrapper in the donation jar.

In Fez and Jackie's apartment, Fez opens the door; he's in the middle of another argument with Fenton. When he comes in the apartment, he notices that it's clean; he picks up a plate and can see his reflection in it. Jackie tells him that he was right about what he said earlier, so she cleaned up, and all those years of watching the maid have finally paid off. Fez tells her that he'll take her out to a movie to show his appreciation, but Jackie turns him down, saying that she's just going to soak in the tub... alone. Fez leaves for the movie, and Jackie lies down on the sofa to wait for the tub to finish filling. She falls asleep; the water is still running, and overflows the tub, spilling out onto the bathroom floor.

[Scene change: Jackie poses and blows kisses at the camera.]

In Red and Kitty's bedroom, the two of them are lying in bed, listening to Hyde and Sam argue just down the hall. Kitty comments that she can't put up with it any longer, it's like living with Italians; she leaves the bedroom, and Red mutters that it's their own fault for moving the two arguing morons to the room next door.

[Scene change: Randy jumps up towards the camera.]

At the record store, Donna is still on the air; she has $38.00 in donations, and wants to know where all her fans are. She tells Randy that she can find her own change, and gets up to search the couch cushions where Leo is sleeping. Leo wakes up, and finding Donna searching him, asks if she's stealing his ravioli? Donna goes back on the air and tells her listeners that she can't go home until she gets $500, then makes an offer: if anyone donates a quarter, she'll take a picture with them; if they donate a dollar, she'll sign their butt; and if they donate $50, she'll take off her clothes and show them a body part.

[Scene change: Kitty jumps in the air; Jackie's face in a close-up shot.]

In Fez and Jackie's apartment, Fez arrives back home from the movie and notices a strange sound when he steps on the carpet; he looks down and sees water all over the floor. Jackie is still asleep on the sofa; he wakes her up and tells her that she flooded the apartment, but she doesn't seem concerned. He tells her that the water has soaked through the carpet, and probably the floor too; Jackie wonders who lives downstairs.

Downstairs, In Fenton's apartment, he's sitting in his chair, listening to music. Fez and Jackie knock on the door. When Fenton answers, Fez looks around, and then says that he wants to borrow a cup of sugar; he tells Jackie that everything looks ship-shape. The ceiling falls in, landing on Fenton's chair; Fez and Jackie run away.

[Scene change: Fez jumps up in the air.]

In Fez and Jackie's apartment, Fenton tells them that their apartment is ruined and the water is pouring down into his; he adds that they'll have to pay for the carpet, the floor and the clean up in his apartment, then he and Fez begin to argue about that. Fenton leaves; Fez tells Jackie to pack her bags, and Jackie thinks that he means that they're going to stay someplace else while the apartment dries out. Fez tells her no, that's not what he meant, he wants her out.

[Scene change: Hyde looks up at the camera.]

In the Forman living room, Kitty sits down beside Sam; in the basement, Red sits beside Hyde; in a split screen, we hear both conversations: Kitty tells Sam that they're worried sick about her and Hyde; Red tells Hyde that they're sick of hearing the two of them screaming like dumb-asses. Hyde says that it's a private matter; Sam says that she'll tell Kitty everything. Hyde begins by saying that the thing is... Sam tells Kitty that they get worked up and then have hot make-up sex; Red doesn't want to hear about it; Kitty wants to hear more. Kitty tells Sam that she's naughty; Red tells Hyde that he's an idiot.

[Scene change: Kitty waves up at the camera.]

In the hallway, outside Fez and Jackie's apartment, Jackie tells Fenton that the accident was all her fault; he points out that the water ruined his suede jacket, and Jackie asks if it's from China? They start talking about his jacket, and Jackie tells him that she knows a great place where he can get a new jacket; he tells her that it better be good, because cheap leather makes him rashy in all the wrong places; Jackie wonders where the "right places" are.

[Scene change: Donna peers at the camera.]

At the record store, Donna is asleep... Santa arrives tells her this is real, not a dream, and he's come to fill her jar with change so she can build the library. Donna comments that she can't believe that some people don't believe Santa is real; Santa asks who doesn't believe in him, and then says he'll kill the bastards... Donna wakes up; Randy is there with his piggy bank, and tells her that he's going to donate all the silver dollars that his Nana gave him for his birthdays, and how she gave him one every year. He smashes the pig open, and is shocked to find that it's filled with pennies, not silver dollars; he sarcastically says thanks to his Nana, calling her a lying old hag. Donna tells him that at least he tried, and wanted to help; Randy agrees that he wanted to help, and Donna, still not quite awake, says into the microphone, "Hear that? Randy loves little boys!"

[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]

In the Forman living room, Kitty tells Red that Hyde and Sam are moving back down to the basement, since they don't plan to stop arguing, then she asks if Red knows why Hyde and Sam argue? Red says that he knows, and thinks it's stupid; Kitty asks who cares, if it spices up their love-making. Red is shocked that Kitty used that word out loud, and starts to argue with her about it, saying that it shouldn't be said in public. He gets up and heads towards the stairs, and when Kitty doesn't follow, tells her that he thought they were trying it? Kitty understands what he was doing in arguing with her, and runs up the stairs after him.

In Fez and Jackie's apartment, Jackie puts a scarf on Fenton and tells him that it was a great afternoon. Fez comes home; he comments that there's only one person that he hates more than Jackie, and that's Fenton. Jackie tells him that she'll be leaving this evening; Fenton is shocked to hear that Jackie is going and tells her that she can't go especially now that she has the other half of his "Best Friends Forever" charm. Jackie tells him that she'll stay, if he does something for her: she wants him to forgive Fez, and not make him pay for the damages. Fenton tells her that he doesn't respond to threats; Jackie says fine, and that she's going, so Fenton gives in and says that Fez is off the hook. Jackie asks Fez if she can stay now that she's gotten him out of paying the damages; he says yes, but tells Fenton that he wants a better parking spot. Fenton offers spot "S" instead of "Z"; Fez tries for a better one, but has to settle for what Fenton is offering.

[End credits: At the record store, Donna is on-air and admits to the listeners that she may have said some things that she shouldn't have said; things that she needs to apologize for now. She begins apologizing to the Irish; people who make their livings on boats; religions that believe in the Old Testament; cross-country skiers; Quakers... she adds that she doesn't know who the Quakers are, but she loves their oatmeal.]