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Wednesday 9:00 PM on The CW (Returning 2015)
Holy Macaroni…Unity Day Sucked

The CW’s The 100 didn’t disappoint this week…It dropped the F-Bombs’ ForA Bunch Of Gang Banging Thugs That Never Saw It Coming! That’s Right Falco! That’s right watching this episode Unity Day was a lot like listening the Bloodhound Gang’s Mope while not being high—uninteresting to say the least.Sure we all knew that Octavia has thing for low-rent Bad Boy Grounder Lincoln.Her Stockholm induced love affair was as predictable and boring asTwilight’swannabe Vampire Romeo And Juliet nonsense ( I have nieces who are obsessed with that crappy movie series…. I think my eldest brother did something seriously wrong in their upbringing to say the least. But that is a discussion for another time.)The point is they’ve forced me to sit through this saga (at a younger age it was Disney’s Pocahontas—a movie a still hate.)and frankly I found this episode to be nothing more than a really shortened version of that terrible film series Twilight!

First off let’s ask Octavia a question—sure Lincoln did do a good thing by helping you out when you fell down a ravine.However, you tend to ruin that sort of good will when you hold someone captive.If only Lincoln had used his big words during the rescue attempt this entire love affair might not seem so stalker fantasy—COME TRUE! But really what did we learn from the Twilight Saga? That depressed girls are easy pickings for the future Stalkers of the World?That is really what I learned from the series!And it seems so did the writer’s room of this series! Yes, they said it worked for that portly abomination of literary success Stephanie Meyer (also she is LDS—And I don’t trust any religions but I have a special disdain for the followers of Joseph Smith again that is a story for another day.) so why not us?

[Eddie Van Halen want's his solo back by the way...]

So, women of the world this series thinks it is perfectly fine for you exist in world where you get kidnapped and fall in love with your kidnapper!Wow… That old fairy tale love story right—in fact don’t most love stories start off with a guy who kidnap’s his soon to be love?Which oddly isn’t that odd for sci-fi novels just read the later works of Robert Heinlein (especially Friday) where gang rape is just another one of those unfortunate things women must endure and if fact usually women will turn out just fine from the experience.Which is basically what the writers of The 100 want you to believe.Sure Octavia was kidnapped and held against her will—but you know what she will be all better, once she has sex with her former captor. What message to send to women—stalker kidnappers aren’t so bad they just you know don’t take no for an answer! Which is a great way of saying women really don’t me no when they say no.Or that Stockholm syndrome makes everything okay right?I’m not sure if I’m laughing from fact that Octavia’s romance is so blatantly stolen from Twilight or if I’m laughing because people aren’t smart enough to question it? [Luke of Luke and Laura on General Hospital would be proud of Lincoln’s style of seduction. ]

Another interesting aspect of this episode is that the Grounder called Lincoln—seems to indicate that Clarke is the leader of the bad of kiddies on Earth.Which seems to indicate that the Grounder Society is not Patriarchal in nature like the Ark society seems to be where power seems to be more centralized in male figures. Lincoln clearly sees Clarke as being in control of the society.Which means that perhaps we are looking at a grounder society that has developed around a matriarchal type system where women weld the political power.It is not clear that it is this type of society—but it is possible and the evidence seems to be the fact that Clarke was seen as the leader of the new comers instead of Bellamy and that Grounder leader is a female as well.While none of this conclusive evidence it does point the way to matriarchal society.

This however if true does bring up one issue—why kidnap Octavia?You would expect in a society values women as equals [possibly social superior to males] that capture marriage would not be an option in this sort of society.If this is indeed the case that we find the Grounder society to be far more egalitarian, if not matriarchal, than why did Lincoln not use his big words and tell Octavia what is happening? [I know it is so much more dramatic if he his the mute bad boy… clue, no!] If he is into her why not help her out and tell her the story of what happened? You know open up a dialogue between the two peoples?It can happen.Instead we have capture marriage turns to Stockholm Syndrome and finally SCORE-- HOME RUN-- THE CROWD GOES WILD LINCOLN’S BANGED THE FIRST SPACE CHICK!!!It is like townies v. preppies in movies with high-end prep schools in small towns…Just usually they don’t end with gunplay. Still this story is the same idea…She is not a dirty bird with the townies!

But my heart went out a little to poor Jasper…He was never in the chase.That is the sad part—sure he saved her from the lake monster.And sure he would try and save her from anything else too. But once the bad boy from the wrong side of the woods captured her it was all over for Jasper! How could a nerd compete with a man of steel abs and few words? Sure, Jasper never kidnapped her and held her against her will—but those are minor issues.Jasper has no six-pack and has stutters a bit when high on seeds… and well basically spends his days building stills and making hooch!You know what in the 1990’s this guy would have formed a grunge band and his stoner buddies would have ridden the popularity of Nirvana into Groupie Induced Post-Coital Bliss! Sadly, Jasper is about 120 years too late for such glorious endeavors with the opposite sex while indulging his most self-destructive tendencies!So, all Jasper can hope for is that Raven decides that Clarke and Finn are getting too close together for her liking and has revenge sex with Jasper …She might even make a camera obscura full sized room and sell tickets to the show! [Hey it worked in Jarhead…]

As for the rest of the story…I’m not sure what to make assassination attempt.It was pretty stupid. Since they are the mechanics of the stations… Why not just kill all of the ruling council in their quarters by overriding their doors and pumping out the O2 as the sleep…You could literally kill everyone in the guard that isn’t part of your coup and most of the council as well. Once it is done the Workers TAKE OVER AND THE SOVIET ERA BEGINS!No bombs, no need to kill too many innocent people, only those who are directly connected to the power structure and means by which the power is maintained!

So this was a boring poor episode

As for the war... Well first off if the Grounders wanted to kill the entire population of kinds they certainly could do it guns or no guns.. After all the guns are limited, the terrain unknown, and the grounder capabilities completely unknown. Where as the The 100 are settled in a camp with visible boundaries and so on. Class encirclement and annihilation. The best part the Grounders really don't need to expend many resources in the process. They could do it with about 25 soldiers. These kids are not trained for conflict so they would be stupid. Once you get them bottled up behind their palisades you just burn them out!

Side Note:

Any Flare that was bright enough to be seen from space would need to be at a very very high altittude- i.e. about 30,000Ft. Which means that it would travel hundreds of miles in parabolic arc from its point of lunch. Not to mention it would probably burn out before it reached the ground. So, it wouldn't burn down a Ground Villager any where near the kids. Maybe a fishing village on the coast. But not a village in that dense forest region near the drop ship. Sorry the math is against you.

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