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Thursday 9:00 PM on The CW (Returning 2017)
Season 1, Episode 1 - "Pilot"

You guys, I’m in.

Space? Check. Teen adventure? Double check. Mysteries? Hella mysterious! I’m fully prepared to hop on board this space-shuttle-wreck and just enjoy the ridiculous disaster that’s about to unfurl on our tv screens. I for one, am thrilled.

Are you guys cool if I photo recap this thing, even if I AM a couple days (weeks) behind? Yeah? Awesome, let’s do this.

First off, our heroine seemed kinda bummed about being locked in a cell until her 18th birthday, when she will be promptly murdered.

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Turns out ANY crime committed on the space shuttle was punishable by death, because the population was too large for their resources. She was in the middle of telling us all the exposition when she was rudely interrupted by some very handsome guards.



She hilariously bested TWO fully grown men and high tailed it outta that cell so fast. But it turns out her mom was about it.

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Her mom seemed pretty worried that Clark would try to take care of everyone else before herself, so she set her straight.

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Then a guard straight up shot her with a tranq gun! haha, this is show is already bat-shit crazy and I love it. Her mom tried to convince her that being sent on a possible suicide mission was going to be a blast.


On the shuttle to earth, we got a plate of New Character with a side of Exposition.


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Apparently this guy was responsible for the death of Clark’s father? That’s awkward. Then, as if our new guy wasn’t embarrassed enough, his dad had to show up and be a jerk wad.


I was pretty bummed for him, until he started talking some more. Did anyone else get the feeling that Dr. Burke’s son is kind of a wiener? Nobody likes a wiener, dude, you’re clearly not the hero. Speaking of…

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I loved how the bad-boy love interest (Finn? Too soon.) felt super bad about the dudes who died, but then it was business as usual.

We also learned through very subtle storytelling that these two are brother and sister, but it’s illegal to have more than one child, so their parents are likely dead. I loved that everyone was like, “that’s the girl who was hidden under the floor!” Like, does she go around yelling out your business, random extra?

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But she showed them!


I love that her brother was in the background holding everyone back like, “let her have this”. Haha, these two are going to be mischief, I can already tell.

I loved where all of their priorities were at.


Our heroine wanted to go on some responsible mission, but the love interest had some flirting to do.

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She wasn’t having it, and reminding him of two things: 1) he inadvertently killed two kids, and 2) they had some adventuring to do!

Back on the space station, we learned that Clark’s mom is the best, and also that the kid’s vital signs are spiking because they’re just plum having a good time.

On earth, the wiener was reminding Clark that he’s a wiener, and all I really got from that conversation was that Clark is good with maps. Then a vague conflict arose because kids will be kids!

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Then the greatest thing on earth (pun intended) happened...

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I mean… LOOK at this guy! Have fun playing the creepy jerk for the rest of your fruitful career! I’m not even kidding, this actor has it made. Look at that strangely ethereal, beautifully sinister face! If anyone knows any other shows or movies where this fellow has played the villain and/or jerk, please let me know, because I am instantly head over heals. Anyway, he wanted to get physical.


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Love this guy so much.

Anyway, the wanna be bad ass chick was about it.



The older brother (does he have a name yet?) told a mysterious tale about what he did to get on the drop ship. Not important. It’s not like he tried to murder a political official, or anything. MOVING ON.

It was time for an adventure! It was hilarious that the group thought two people (or even five people, as it turns out) could bring back enough food for one hundred growing teens. Haha, teen logic.


We learned the asian dude’s gramma grows all the pharmaceuticals on the arc, which isn’t stereotyping… right? Anyway, that’ll come in handy later.

Clark didn’t like that they were lollygagging.

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Then the adventure squad stumbled upon the wonders of nature.

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Whoops! Looks like they’re all going to die of radiation poisoning after all. Ah well, la la la.

Meanwhile, in space, Clark's mom was being awesome and trying to save the chancellor's life.

And we found out that Desmond got off the Island and turned into a nefarious political villain!


He wanted to kill errrbody (to apparently save everyone else?)

Back on earth, the shady brother was getting everyone to take off their bracelets, because why save humanity when you can have a bon fire? Then Clark filled everyone in on the fact that their old digs is dying, and that her dad was essentially the best, making Dr. Burke’s son an even bigger wiener for turning him in.

Obviously, this happened:




Octavia was almost eaten by a giant mutant snake! Clark had the brilliant idea to drop a rock into the water to distract the giant snake from eating her, which hilariously WORKED. Then the adorkable nerd jumped in and saved her.


I loved that the snake had Octavia in it’s mouth enough to whip her around a bunch, and THAT is the mark it left. Haha, show, I love you already. Also, Clark ripped Finn’s shirt to make the bandage without even asking. Don’t be rude, Clark, you’re the star.


The brother and the wiener had a confrontation that I just could not bring myself to care about because my favourite creep on earth was chilling in the background just BEGGING for more screen time.

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Oh, and then the teens started chanting “Whatever the hell we want”, like barbarians.

Up in space (I shall never grow tired of that segway), Clark’s awesome mom was in trouble.


They put her in the same cell Clark was in, because space guards love poetic drama. She got to see all of Clarke's beautiful drawings of an earth she’d never actually seen yet.


Clark and Finn had a moment where they joked about the plants glowing.

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Twist! Clark’s mom’s best friend is the special lady-friend of the evil politician! She was NOT pleased that he was straight up murdering her pal.

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The brother took the wiener into the wilderness and it really seemed like he was going to murder him, which I was okay with. But, it turns out he just wanted some goons to take off his wrist band. *sigh* If you’re going to be a villain, brother, BE A VILLAIN. Whatever.

Things were looking bad for Clarke’s awesome mom, who was taking her death sentence like a CHAMP. But then look who showed up to stop it!!


I guess the chancellor (I really need to learn his name because typing chancellor is a real bitch) isn’t such a bad guy? I don’t know.

Then the kids found Food Mountain! The adorkable nerd volunteered to swing on the vine first because he wanted to impress the girl. And he did!


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You guys, they’re not alone! It’s the others! Okay, wrong show, but still! I am INTRIGUED. And because I’m a few weeks behind, I get to watch the second episode post haste! I’ll have that recap up before you can say “please don’t bother”.

See you soon!
Comments (27)
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You're officially my favorite. How did I only just find your writing?!?
I was having a very deep withdraw crushed feeling... I know after only one week, I am so going to have a very bad summer.

Than I thought, Hey I only start reading reviews this season lets see if Tony did some in the First season as well. And you did... THANKKKKK YOUUUUU !!!!!!

Reading them knowing what's going to happen is even better...

My favorite part was you wanting to know Jaha's name because you were tired of tiping CHANCELOR ... I guess Thelonious is not that much better .

After watching it a few times I have so much to say about that first episode and how some part became really irrelevant and some part were already very important

Note that Clarke did not rip Finn's shirt to make a bandaid for Octavia it was actually Jasper's
To recover from the pain in my chest from 'Spacewalker', I've decided to read your season one recaps again...just so I don't have to go into school tomorrow with such a blocked up nose and throat...
I'm so excited I find these!!!
i love your recaps !! you are so funny !!
Creepy jerk was also on Bates Motel...
Well before he was a creepy jerk on Continuum, he was a creepy jerk on Tower Prep. It only had one season, but it was amazing! You should check it out
Octiavia all wet. ;) Best scene.
I really liked this review and I will continue reading!!!

BTW Creepy Jerk is also a creepy jerk in the show Continuum, great show!!! He is not one of the main characters but he is pretty important. Upside it is also an amazing show!!!
This is how this show should be reviewed. Very funny. Keep it up!
I am one of those who do like The 100. Good Job on the review and keep it up.
hilarious photo recaps, dun like the font but the texts are too funny.

good job!
Nice recap. The only thing missing is a picture of the pretty blonde's face as she was looking at the pretty brunette taking her clothes off.

I have seen two episodes, and I don't know if I'll keep watching. The show is, pardon my French, incredibly stupid. But it's at least about people in an interesting situation. Two interesting situations in fact. And it may have some value as an unintentional comedy.

I found a lot of things pretty annoying. The most annoying thing was that the writers don't seem to have any idea how stupid young people behave. It make me suspect that the writers are stupid old people. Another thing that was much more annoying than the survivable spear to the chest, was the fact that the idiots on the space station couldn't even come up with the idea that the kids might be taking their bracelets off. Even the person who designed the bracelets wasn't able to say for sure that it can't be radiation poisoning.
"If anyone knows any other shows or movies where this fellow has played the villain and/or jerk, please let me know..."

OK, he's been in Continuum for a couple of years now, and he DOES play a jerk there as well, but I'm not ready to typecast him yet. I'm thinking he'd be right for an "Elvis: The Early Years" biopic.

I mean just look at him... he has the hair, the sneer, and the black leather jacket down already. All he needs is the voice - and let's face it, how hard can it be to do an Elvis impersonation? I dunno, maybe an Evil Elvis, who just wants to stick it to Buddy Holly, so he sabotages his plane? I think it could totally work.
He played an adorable goofball in a silly movie called "Triple Dog" CHECK IT OUT!! He was so adorable and super nice to Diana Agron's character... I think I died xP
I think he played another super annoying character in the first season of The Killing. He was (if I remember correctly) the teenager who boasted about how easy it is to get older women to sleep with him.

I too thought of him as only suitable for "annoying douchebag" roles the first time I saw him.
I had a feeling I had seen him before that. Apparently I had seen him in a lot of places: Jeremiah, Painkiller Jane, Flash Gordon, Smallville, Caprica, Fringe and The secret circle.
hes on Continuum omg
excellent recap! This show promises to be full of insanity, which I love
Richard Harmon's also been the villian/jerk on Continuum - he plays Julian Randol.
Richard Harmon ( your This Guy) got to play the same douche in Continuum, another Canadian filmed Sci-Fi flick. So maybe stereo-typed...
in that show hes not a vilain at first but then......with that face we all knew he would turn bad any moment asap lolol
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