The Academy Awards Season 75 Episode 1

Steve Martin: What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be democrats... or skinny.

Adrien Brody: (after kissing Halle Berry) I bet they didn't tell you that was in the giftbag.

Michael Moore: (his controversial acceptance speech) Whoa. On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan from Canada, I'd like to thank the Academy for this. I have invited my fellow documentary nominees on the stage with us, and we would like to - they're here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up. Thank you very much.

Steve Martin: (following Michael Moore's outburst on stage) It's so sweet backstage. The Teamsters are helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.