Morticia: Back to reality, eh, children, from a world of fantasy.
Gomez: Back to reality, eh, children, from a world of fantasy.
Fester: Recess? If I remember correctly, I flunked that three times. Tough.
Pugsley: We were just showing the kids how to shoot dynamite caps.
Gomez: Ah, seems harmless enough. At least they weren't frittering away their time with marbles.
Gomez: As old Erasmus Addams once said, you got to take the bull by the teeth. Teeth?
Gomez: Hilliard, old bean, you just sorta dropped out of sight.
Sam Hilliard: Yeah, I certainly tried.
Gomez: You're the only truant officer our children ever missed.
Gomez: You do remember our remarkable offspring?
Sam Hilliard: Pugsley and Wednesday. Names that haunt even my happiest hours.
Morticia: Mr. Hilliard, what a lovely compliment.
Gomez: I would estimate a five-knot breeze from the direction of, uh, the glue factory.
Fester: Glue factory? That's dinner.
Gomez: The chancellor of Addams Hall has little time for creature comforts, my dear. Remember: tempus fungus.
Gomez: That too.
Morticia: Drop by? I was brutally kidnapped by that one-man goon squad.
Sam Hilliard: Drop by? I was brutally kidnapped by that one-man goon squad.
Gomez: Same old Hilliard, he can charm the birds out of the trees.
Moriticia: Gomez, how touching, darling. You wanted to buy me Harvard for my birthday.
Gomez: Well, come to think of it, it is rather a silly gift for a beautiful woman. I should get you Vassar.
Blossom Rock does not appear in this episode.