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Sheriff Andy Taylor
Deputy Barney Fife
Aunt Bee Taylor
Briscoe: Thank you Miss Bee, your kisses are prized and highly valuable... but they just ain't worth the pain.
Briscoe: I'll put on my square wheels so things don't move too fast.
(At the Darlings' dinner table Aunt Bee is correcting Briscoe's manners)
Briscoe: (reaches for food, Aunt Bee hits him with spoon) Ow! Dog! For a pretty woman that reads rose poetry, you sure pack a mean spoon.
Aunt Bee: Don't you raise your voice at the table.
Briscoe: I'll raise my voice, I'll raise hogs, I'll raise whatever I want to raise – this is MY table. (Aunt Bee hits him with spoon) That tears it. That just tears it! (he goes over to Andy) Come on. Come on, take me away.
Andy: What are you talkin' about?
Briscoe: Clap them handcuffs on me, I'm breach a' promisin'.
Andy: You're not!
Briscoe: Yes I am. This is gone just far enough. I can take some manners, and I can take some cleanin' up, and I can take a bossy mouth. But, I ain't about to be beat to death with no spoon!
(Opie brings note to Andy that shows Briscoe has "kidnapped" Aunt Bee; Andy is going to rescue her)
Andy: You go over to Miss Martha's and ask her to fix you some lunch.
Opie: Aw, gee, Pa...
Andy: Now, Opie, I ain't got time to argue with you.
Opie: But she'll feed me grits and prunes!
Andy: In Norway the young'uns eat hardtack and raw fish.
Opie: I'll take grits and prunes.
Aunt Bee: (recitation after dinner)
"A Fading Flower of Forgotten Love"
by Agnes Ellicott Strong
A rose I give to you
This rose so fresh with fragrance rare,
Its petals bringing joy to you
The fairest of the fair.
Oh roses are like memories
They fade and pass above
But you dear heart will e'er remain
my fading flower of forgotten love.
(After dinner, they sit down to play music)
Andy: Come on, Mr. Darling. What'll it be?
Briscoe: Well, you pick it and I'll jug it.
Andy: How' bout, how 'bout "Dirty Me, Dirty Me, I'm Disgusted With Myself"?
Briscoe: That one makes me cry.
(Briscoe and the boys are dining at Andy's house)
Aunt Bee: Now, do you like pearly onions?
Briscoe: Oh, they twang my buds.
Briscoe Darling sings for the first and only time in this episode. The singing is typically done by Doug (the guitar player) or Charlene.
This episode marks the only appearance of The Darlings without Charlene. Only Briscoe and his four boys appear.
Right before Dinner, the Darling boys are playing "Dueling Banjos." This song was made famous (or infamous) in the 1970's film Deliverance starring Burt Reynolds.
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