The Andy Griffith Show

Season 3 Episode 14

One-Punch Opie

Aired Monday 9:30 PM Dec 31, 1962 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (during his talk to Opie and the town boys, Barney accidentally locks himself in the cell; the boys leave)
      Andy: Well, got yourself a little incarcerated, didn't you?
      Barney: (annoyed) Get the key.
      Andy: No more carefree hours; no more doin' what you want to when you want to; no more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
      Barney: Get the key.
      Andy: I tell you what we'll do in your case, though. If you're good – if you're VERY good – we'll toss some peanuts in your cell and you can jump up and down on 'em and make your own peanut butter.
      Barney: Are you gonna get the key.
      Andy: Hmm?
      Barney: Open this door!
      Andy: Oh, you figure you've paid your debt to society. Oh, alright, we'll, uh, we'll let you out. (opens cell) Alright, you can go. But remember: it is definitely NO FUN when that iron door clangs shut on you.
      Barney: (irritated; storms out) You belong in the funny papers, you know that. Get you a wig and a dress and you're another Emmy Schmaltz!

    • (Opie and the townboys are about to leave the courthouse after Andy's lecture)
      Barney: Now, boys, I'd like to just add a word or two to what the Sheriff has said, so as to make everything absolutely clear. I think it's only fair to warn you that if you keep on getting' into trouble and breakin' the law, it can only lead to one thing: incarceration. Now, I know none of you likes the idea of bein' incarcerated. The idea scares you a little bit, doesn't it?
      Opie: Yeah. And we don't even know what it means.
      Barney: Ho, ho, well, to be incarcerated…
      Johnny Paul: I know what it means. It's like when a doctor gives you a shot.
      Barney: No. No, that's inarculated. No, I mean jail – locked up.

    • (Opie and other town boys have been doing mischief, including braking a street lamp)
      Barney: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I tell you this is just the beginnin': goin' around breakin' street lamps - city property, mind you. Next thing you know they'll be on motorcycles and wearin' them leather jackets and zoomin' around. They'll take over the whole town... a reign of terror!
      Andy: Barney, these are just boys you're talkin' about. They're only about 8 years old.
      Barney: yeah, well today's 8-year olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters goin' wrong you got to nip it in the bud!
      Andy: I'm gonna have a talk with 'em. Now what more do you want me to do?
      Barney: Well, just don't mollycoddle 'em.
      Andy: I won't.
      Barney: Nip it! You go read any book you want on the subject of child discipline and you'll find that every one of them is in favor of bud-nippin'.
      Andy: I'll take care of it.
      Barney: Only one way to take care of it.
      Andy: Nip it.
      Barney: In the bud.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Barney: You belong in the funny papers, you know that. Get you a wig and a dress and you're another Emmy Schmaltz!
      Emmy Schmaltz was the landlady of the boarding house where Moon Mullins lived. "Moon Mullins" was a comic strip started in 1923 by Frank Willard and distributed by Chicago Tribune Syndicate. The strip ran until 1991.