Sheriff Andy Taylor
Opie Taylor (as Ronny Howard)
Deputy Barney Fife
Aunt Bee Taylor
Dudley A. Wash
Charlene Darling (as Margaret Ann Peterson)
It's been noted that no complete copies of this episode exist. According to Paramount they were unable to locate a complete copy for the full season box set. However, this episode is in the public domain and numerous complete copies have been rumored to exist at one time, most in VHS format.
Note: the full series box set released May 2007 does not include the complete episode.
The only lines ever spoken by the Darling boys occur in the jail scene. Other (Dean Webb) can be heard to say "About to pop" and Jebbin (Doug Dillard) says "Great beans, Aunt Bee".
Two of the brothers rarely spoken first names are heard in this episode. Other is referred to in the hotel and Jebbin is referred to in the jail.
Apparently, only the syndicated version of this episode survives and it is that appears on the third season DVD boxed set. Unfortunately, it is of inferior video quality in comparison with other episodes and is missing its "tag" or epilogue sequence.
Hopefully, a better print of the complete version will one day be found and included in a subsequent season set.
A wire (presumably for a microphone) can be seen coming from the bottom of andy's trouser leg in the opening scene as he approaches the darling's truck.
Andy: I now pronounce you man and wife.
Briscoe: Alright everybody back on the truck. How much do I owe you Sheriff justice.
Andy: Well usually it's two dollars, but I'll settle for a song.
Briscoe: Good! How about something nice and sentimental for a wedding?
Andy: Good idea.
Briscoe: Alright boys let's do Keep Your Money In Your Shoes And It Won't Get Wet!
Briscoe: I'm sorry Sheriff it looks like they's a gonna get together.
Andy: Well some's got it and some ain't.
Briscoe: Welcome the boy home, it's the least you can do before the fight starts!
Briscoe: I guess we'll just settle this thing by natural law; you and Dud fight it out.
Andy: I don't wanna fight Dud.
Briscoe: Natural law, tooth and claw.
Andy: I don't wanna fight Dud!
Briscoe: You owe it to the boy! He's been servicing his country for three years!
Charlene: Oh Pa, I got him treed!
Briscoe: The bus is about ready to dismount Dud home.
Charlene: I don't want Dud, I want him!
Briscoe: You just had to go and ag her on didn't you? Lead her on with your fancy ways, and your winning smile.
Andy: I didn't do nothing! If anything I've been running away from her!
Briscoe: Playing hard to get. Oh that gets women quicker than anything.
Andy: Charlene, you owe something to that boy whose been in the service for three years!
Charlene: I sent him a fruitcake.
Andy: Mind if I play along with you?
Briscoe: I didn't know you strang!
Andy: A little. What key?
Briscoe: Just jump in where you can and hang on!
Briscoe: What number did we commit now?
Andy: 317: Occupancy of private property without permission of the owner. I'm sorry to have to chase you.
Briscoe: Oh that's all right. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the head mounty.
Briscoe: I told you she was promised, Sheriff!
Andy: Now look, Mr. Darling -
Briscoe: You can't keep your hands or your eyes off of her can you?
Andy: I'm not touching her!
Briscoe: See that you don't. Keep an eye on him boys until I get down there.
Andy: Goodnight, Mr. Darling.
Briscoe: More power to you.
Andy: Where's the rest of the family? You're a mighty fine jug player, but I doubt there's a pair of lips around with that much versatility.
Briscoe: You don't believe I can get banjo sounds out of this jug?
Briscoe: Well a man's entitled to his opinion.
Andy: That's mighty fine jugging, Mr. Darling.
Briscoe: I can get banjo sounds, guitar sounds, whatever I want out of it.
Briscoe: Now let's try Slimy River Bottom, and this time make it purdy!
Charlene: That one makes me cry!
Briscoe: Well we're gonna have to do better than that if we're gonna play for Charlene's wedding.
Charlene: Oh Pa, I can't even remember what Dud looks like!
Briscoe: Well you love him with your heart and soul, and that's all that matters.
John Masters: Is there anything you want?
Briscoe: Just a bed and a Bible.
Andy: Mr. Darling, it's against the law to dip your hat into the horse trough. That's for horses only.
Briscoe: They ain't a horse in sight, but if one comes along I'll give him the right of way.
Briscoe: Outside of me and her brothers there ain't no fellows left in the mountains for her to play with. You're mighty refreshing to her.
Briscoe: Charlene, keep them eyes to yourself!
Andy: Take my word for it Mr., uh -
Andy: I beg your pardon?
Briscoe: Briscoe Darling.
Andy: Oh! Oh. Andy Taylor. Sheriff Andy Taylor.
Briscoe: More power to you.
Briscoe: So don't go making any fancies for her.
Andy: Well that's the furthest thing from my mind.
Briscoe: Your words say no, but your eyes say yes.
Andy: Believe me, the thought never entered my head.
Briscoe: Just see that it don't.
Charlene: How much you gonna take, Pa?
Briscoe: She's always been good for eleven hat fulls.
Andy: I'm old enough to be your father!
Charlene: You've sure been beautiful preserved!
Charlene: My, you're strong as a tree!
Andy: You're down Miss Charlene?
Charlene: How 'bout if I shinny up and come back down again?
Charlene: Yeah, Paw?
Briscoe: Put that boy down!
Briscoe: Now that's enough, Charlene, back in the truck.
Charlene: Aw, Paw, can't I even look at the pretty man?
Charlene: Whew, sure is boilin', paw!
Briscoe: This machine is half mad with thirst!
Aunt Bee: Did you like the white beans you had for supper?
Andy: Um huh.
Aunt Bee: Well, you didn't say anything.
Andy: Well, I ate four bowls. If that ain't a tribute to white beans, I don't know what is.
Aunt Bee: Well.
Andy: Eating Speaks louder than words.
Aunt Bee: You know, your education was worth every penny of it.
(The Darlings are playing music in Briscoe's hotel room)
John Masters: They're raisin' the roof in there, Andy; with at least five instruments. Now the law says one occupant to a single room.
Andy: I know who they are. I warned them earlier today on a 907.
John Masters: Dippin' a hat in a horse trough?
This is Denver Pyle's (Briscoe Darling) first appearance in the series. Pyle was best known of his portrayal of family patriarch Uncle Jesse in the 80's hit The Dukes of Hazzard.
Don Knotts did not appear in this episode.
First appearance of The Darlings.
Alan Soule would reprise his role as John Masters the town choir director in this episode though he apparently moonlights as the hotel manager.
The songs in this episode are in order: 1. Old Joseph 2. Doug's Tune (called "Slimy River Bottom" in this episode.) 3. Dooley 4. Cold Trailin' 5. Hickory Hollow 6. Banjo In The Hollow (called "Tearin Up Your Old Clothes For Rags" in this episode) 7. Salty Dog (cut out in syndication) 8. Cindy (cut out in syndication) Notes: 1-3 were in the hotel scenes 4-5 were in the vacant store and the rest were played in the courthouse. All but Salty Dog and Cindy are available on the Dillards "Back Porch Bluegrass" records, the Dillards being the Darlin' boys, of course.
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