The Andy Griffith Show

Season 4 Episode 28

The Return of Malcolm Merriweather

Aired Monday 9:30 PM Apr 20, 1964 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Barney: We've got an English Otis on our hands!

    • Barney: Boy, there's nothing I hate more than a wino on a crying jag.

    • Barney: Well, where's Aunt Bee with lunch? She's usually here and gone by now.
      Andy: She's a little late.
      Barney: Well, I'm hungry, Ange.
      Andy: She'll be along in a few minutes. Relax.
      Barney: Well, I happen to have this low sugar blood content, and if I don't get my lunch by noon then I get a headache and I'm no good to anybody.
      Andy: A few minutes one way or the other shouldn't make any difference.
      Barney: Well, it does to me. I've got a clock in my stomach.
      Andy: You must have.
      Barney: I go by that clock, too. Tick, tock. I know it's time for lunch. Tick, Tick. I know it's time for dinner. My mother was the same way.
      Andy: I remember that about your mother.
      Barney: She had a clock in her stomach.
      Andy: Hey, Barn? These clocks you and your mother had in your stomachs? Did the tickin' keep your father awake at night?
      Barney: You wanna get facetious. You wanna get facetious about the whole thing? Is that what you want to do--get facetious?
      Andy: No.
      Barney: Well, just don't get facetious. That happens to be a very common thing: clock in the stomach.
      Andy: I know, I know, I know. Aunt Bee has an elephant she kept on the mantelpiece, and it had a clock in its stomach. Now, don't get mad. I was just kidding.
      Barney: I don't mind you kiddin' me about my stomach, but don't kid about my mother's stomach.

  • Notes

  • Allusions