The Andy Griffith Show

Season 4 Episode 21

The Shoplifters

Aired Monday 9:30 PM Mar 02, 1964 on CBS



  • Quotes

    • (Barney tells Andy he thinks he knows who's stealing from Weaver's store)
      Barney: All right, let's play it Question and Answer. Now, I'll ask the questions and you answer "yes" or "no", OK?
      Andy: OK.
      Barney: All right, here we go. A – who's store is bein' robbed?
      Andy: Uh... no?
      Barney: (starts getting annoyed) What d'ya mean "no"?
      Andy: You said answer "yes" or "no".
      Barney: I meant one word – answer one word.
      Andy: Well, you didn't say that.
      Barney: All right, let's start again from the beginnin' and this time answer in one word, OK?
      Andy: Okay.
      Barney: All right, A – who's store is bein' robbed?
      Andy: Weaver's.
      Barney: Right. B – who's gonna collect the insurance on those thefts?
      Andy: Weaver.
      Barney: Right, right, right. C – who was creepin' around in that store last night?
      Andy: You were.
      Barney: (more annoyed) What d'ya mean "I were"?
      Andy: You were; course I know that's two words.
      Barney: Now don't get purposely obtuse, Andy. The answer is: Weaver.
      Andy: Well, I missed it.
      Barney: Well, play the game, play the game! I hate it when you get obtuse. Now where'd I leave off?
      Andy: C.
      Barney: All right, D – who in their entire life ever got a bargain in Weaver's store?
      Andy: Uh... Weaver?
      Barney: Ah, come on, Andy. I'm tryin' to give you the name of the criminal and you won't accept it. The answer is "nobody".
      Andy: Nobody's the criminal?
      Barney: (very annoyed) Boy, when you get obtuse!