The Celebrity Apprentice

Season 3 Episode 13

A Lonely Drive

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Apr 14, 2005 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
16 votes

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Episode Summary

A Lonely Drive
This week's task is to create a promotional brochure for Pontiac. Magna made the better brochure for the win. For their reward, Magna met the New York Knicks. Networth was in the boardroom, where Chris was fired.

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  • The Sum of His Tears: A Firing

    The Sum of His Tears: A Firing


    Before we begin, lemme announce some recent news about everyone’s favorite corporate reality show (isn’t this the only one? Never mind…I forgot about The Benefactor and The Rebel Billionaire). First of all, Chris got arrested! YAY! Secondly, the third season finale will air on May 5th, where one candidate will become Donald’s assistant. The even better news about the finale, it will only be one hour! YAY! That means no Regis Philbin! Woo-Hoo! Finally, Bill Rancic has extended his contract with Trump for another year. YAY?! There’s an interview with him in TV Guide this week, and there’s plenty of other sources where you can find more information on ALL of this good news. Now, on with the recap!

    Last time on The Apprentice, Things “unraveled” for Net Worth during a task that required the candidates to design their own clothing line for American Eagle or Aeropostale or one of those teen “let’s go buy clothes and then get high” hangouts. Angie freezes up during the presentation of some pretty crappy products and her team loses. She’s sent to the boardroom with Alex and Chris, but she’s fired because of her lack of presentation skills when put under lots of pressure.

    This episode, Week 12, starts off with a laugh, with Tana talking about Chris and how she wants him to be fired. The Quote of the Week happens here, when she says “He’s a virgin and we’re all sluts.” Hmm…yea. She’s a lil disappointed when she finds out who really was fired, Angie, but she’s a good sport about it and gives Chris a hug. Kinda like on American Idol when everyone cries when someone’s eliminated even though they’re really not too sad.

    Yes, Chris made a return from the boardroom, and in this episode, The Phone Call from Rona made a return. Missing from last week’s episode, Rona told Tana to meet in front of the NY Stock Exchange at 8:30. Once there, Trump announces that the candidates would be creating a compelling brochure to advertise for Pontiac’s new car, the Solstice, even though Pontiac kind of burst Trump’s bubble of ego because they’re worth nineteen million more dollars than Trump is. Yeah, because Trump’s worth a mere 800 gazillion dollars. Boo-Hoo. Poor him. I get happy when my mom buys me a new pen (I just got this new one where you click the top and the pen comes out but then you press the little clippie thing, and the pen goes back in. Ingenious.). He’s only happy if he gives someone a heart attack when they see his net worth. Speaking of Net Worth, Chris and Alex choose Bren to be on their team for the task of advertising for the “sexy, gorgeous, two-seat roadster.” Hey, the Pontiac guy’s words, not mine.

    At Magna, Project Manager Kendra is pissed off because no one listens to her years of advertising and layout experience. FYI, this is the first episode where I’ve actually sided with Kendra and realized that she has a very good shot at winning the game. Her idea, a theme of having a love affair with a car, with all of the emotions that the car evokes, is questioned by Craig and Tana, with Craig incessantly telling her that he can’t recognize a theme in her idea, even though the words “love affair with a car” and “all of the emotions that the car evokes” are in her description of her idea. In my opinion, he’s pretty dumb. I hope he’s fired next week, though he’ll probably get to either fourth place or third place. Trump usually cuts the black guy then, except in the case of Kwame. He didn’t drop Kwame until the last week. I mean, seriously, Burnett and Co. are making Craig seem just like the other black guys in the series (Kevin, Kwame), whereas the black women are made out to be bitchy or anal or crazy (Omarosa, Tara, Stacie J, or Verna). He’s laid back, seemingly without an opinion, and he stays in the background the entire time. A lot like Nick from Burnett’s Survivor: Australian Outback. I’m not gonna say nothing, but that ain’t right.

    And now, a Word from the Donald: Don’t give up. Didn’t we have this one last week? Whatever.

    Bren (albino in a tie), Chris (tobacco chewing hothead) and Alex (I can’t even think of a nickname for him) are the Three Stooges of this episode, and they seem to get along really well. When it comes time to take pictures for the car, Alex is left taking interiors and Chris (Project Manager) and Bren go to get exteriors of the car. The team does no planning, no focus group, and seems not to have a theme, unless “Pamela Anderson clones laying on a Pontaic Solstice” is the name of their brochure. Alex makes a fatal mistake by not taking some key shots (the Solstice emblem or the tires or other things), insisting that there “wasn’t enough time.” Tard. Alex disappoints his team with the photos, and while Bren and Chris dedicate lots of hard work and time to the brochure that night (or in Chris’ case, falling off office chairs), Alex finds some time to take a nap, and when he wakes up, the brochure’s done and Bren and Chris have screwed up another task.

    Magna doesn’t have much luck either. While Craig’s still trying to grasp Kendra’s concept, Tana begins yawning. She tells Kendra that there is no way that Craig and she are staying at the layout building the entire night, and they, quite frankly, tell Kendra what they think of staying the entire time. Tana tells her that she’s going home to get some sleep, to which Kendra says “I appreciate your honesty [about my work tactics] but I am offended by it.” Craig and Tana leave the building and go to sleep while a shocked Kendra, who can’t believe that her team has deserted her, begins working on the project.

    The editing here is done very well, with Kendra and Bren reading (to themselves) their writing for the brochure. Kendra decides to go with defining the certain emotions that the car evokes from her and others in her focus group that she held the night before. Bren just goes with the usual captions, facts about the car. Once she’s done, Kendra goes back to Trump tower, still looking really hot. She wakes up Tana and tells her that “I’m finished. I’m like a girl who’s just had sex. I’ve got, like, a huge grin on my face.” Then, Tana finds something in her bed and asks “what the hell is this?” She obviously needs to go have sex more.

    At the presentations, the Pontiac people like Magna’s (ahem…Kendra’s…ahem) brochure, and Kendra makes sure that everyone sees that she came up with everything. She cuts Tana off several times because by Tana talking, it makes it seem like Kendra didn’t do anything. Though I don’t entirely agree with her logic, Kendra deserves to boast about her project. She was the one that made it so she deserves the most credit. And then, the Pontiac Executives are blessed enough to get a shot at hearing Net Worth’s presentations. Immediately, the “ho-hum” hunky dory music plays when Chris starts talking, and this is actually humorous. Much more funny than Angie’s screw-up last week. The Pontiac people roll their eyes when Bren and Alex put up the posters they have of the car, flanked by the Pam Anderson clones we talked about earlier. Then they adopt the Caroline again when Chris starts making up words and getting tongue-tied, saying things like “Solster Roadster”, “Exteriorly” and “Interiorly.”

    Once both teams are done presenting their projects, the Donald steps in to see the verdict. The Pontiac guy says that “one of them really nailed the emotion of the car and the other tried but failed.” Guess which one’s which. It’s not too hard. Magna wins by a landslide, and this is a “personal moment of victory” for Kendra, who leads her team to Madison Square Garden for their reward – shooting up with basketball stars. Oh, I’m sorry. That’s shooting hoops. A little later, Trump comes in, whips off his jacket and shoots a free-throw (that is what it’s called, right?). My only question is this: How many takes did the cameramen need to get before Trump actually made that shot? Oh, one other thing that I thought was important to note about the reward was in the very end, where Kendra is shown held up by two of the Basketball stars, slam-dunking into the basket. Is this foreshadowing that her strategy, to lay low for as long as she can without being fired and then whipping out the big guns at the end, will pay off and she’ll win? Possibly…I’m actually betting on it. Tana and Kendra will be in the top two. (Email me your picks)

    At the suite, Chris is too busy being modest (“I perceive myself as a brilliant young man”) to realize that Bren and Alex have already headed to the boardroom. He grabs his coat and runs out into the hall. In the boardroom, Trump whips out the crappy brochure that Chris’ team, Net Worth, put together. The front cover has the blurred vision of the car, and Trump looks at it and asks “Is something wrong with my eyes?” No, Chris responds. That’s just how they shot the picture. Was someone getting high? Then Chris says truly one of the dumbest things – “I never thought I would lose.” Trump points out, in that way that only he can do it, “You lose every week.” Chris then blames the loss on Bren because of his cruddy and boring text. To narrow it down to the person most worthy of being fired, Trump doesn’t even send the three guys out of the boardroom. He just asks Carolyn and George pointblank who deserves to be fired. In the end, he fires Chris, with the words of “You’re fired. Seven times. You’re fired.” Chris starts crying like a little baby, and even though I know that he’s regretting crying that night where he is now, in a jail cell, I’m still gonna make fun of him for it. For the first time ever on The Apprentice, Donald Trump calls one of the candidates to him on the other side of the table, giving him two pieces of advice. First, “watch your temper.” Second, “Stay away from the tobacco.” Third, “Never lose the credit card again.” No, I’m totally kidding about the third one.

    Once Chris and Co. exit the room, Trump says to Carolyn that he thinks that Chris is a good kid. Carolyn agrees, deeming Chris a “great kid.” In his taxi cab, Chris thanks everyone for the roller coaster ride that he was put through. That’s so sweet….in a way.

    Next week on The Apprentice, Kendra and Craig have another blowout. And according to the promos, “Things are getting good.” What was the rest of the season then? Okay? Seriously, who writes these? It must be Bren. Must be.

    -Adam Polaski

    -Looking for an autograph? Maybe not that much? Just wanna be a part of my mailing list? I’ll tell you when my writing shows up on the internet. Email me. Or, just tell me your picks for the finale at the same address. Comments are always appreciated.moreless
Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Himself (the boss)

Kristen Kirchner

Kristen Kirchner

4th Fired

Bill Rancic

Bill Rancic

The Apprentice

Carolyn Kepcher

Carolyn Kepcher

Herself/Trump's assistant

George Ross (II)

George Ross (II)

Himself/Trump's assistant

Robin Himmler

Robin Himmler

Herself (Trump's Secretary)

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

    • Tana's apparent attempt to take the credit for Kendra's idea is just like Jennifer M. taking the credit for Ivana's idea in season two's "The Butt Stops Here." Some doubt that either women were trying to steal the credit for the other's idea.

    • After Magna Corporation wins the task, Pontiac ran a unique advertisement inviting viewers to go to to get a unique Early Order ID Number for the Solstice, which Pontiac began taking orders for nationwide at their dealers at 2pm ET. Customers who brought their ID Number to the dealer and placed an order and deposit and were one of the first 1,000 nation would receive a special VIN sequence, a Unique instrument panel trim badge, a Certificate of Authenticity, and a commemorative edition Solstice die-cast model (1:18 scale). According to Pontiac, "Only fifteen minutes after the early order program was announced on The Apprentice, traffic on the program website,, increased 1,393 percent." 2,000 of Pontiac's 2,700 dealers took part in this The Apprentice promotion.

    • Kendra makes it to the final four automatically by being the winning Project Manager in the final six. She carries her team through the task, never giving up on working on the brochure, although both Tana and Craig retire early to get some sleep. Her brochure will be made the real advertising campaign for the Pontiac Solstice – one of which will also be rewarded to the winner of The Apprentice.

    • In a boardroom first, Trump does not send Net worth out of the boardroom before deliberating with George and Carolyn. Instead, he asks them for their opinions with Networth still sitting at the table.

  • QUOTES (7)

  • NOTES (3)

    • Bren is reshuffled onto Networth in this episode.

    • The Project Managers in this episode are Kendra for Magna and Chris for Networth. Coincidentally, this is the second time that Kendra and Chris are Project Managers on the same task, the first one being the eighth task. Because of her win, Kendra, who will receive an exemption next week, is now tied with Tana with two wins as Project Manager. Her win puts her in the lead for longest winning streak of the season – seven straight wins.

    • Networth loses again, their seventh consecutive loss, and Chris is fired from his three-person team (the other two being Bren and Alex). Although Alex may have been the reason Networth loses the task, Chris is fired because Trump cannot stand his seven week losing streak. Chris, now the longest-running member of the original Networth, is the first person to cry and approach the Donald behind the boardroom table after being fired. Chris is also the first person to lose twice as Project Manager this season.


    • If you listen closely to the music playing in the background during Magna's reward, you'll notice it sounds similar to "Sweet Georgia Brown," the theme song for the Harlem Globetrotters. How coincidental, considering the reward was also related to basketball.

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