The Apprentice

Airstream of Consciousness

Season 3, Episode 5, Aired 2/17/05

Episode Summary

The job this week is to create a new business with an airstream trailer, and take in the most money. Project Managers are found in Tana and Bren, who have varrying degrees of success leading their teams. While Tana struggles to find a willing casting director for a service, her risk pays off big, and Bren, along with trying to operate a spa, has trouble with keeping his teammates, especially Michael and Stephanie, from fighting. In the end, Networth brings in more money than Magna, ensuring a win and giving Networth team members $20,000 to spend in a jewelry store. Magna, meanwhile, is given orders to report to the boardroom, where Michael is fired for being too lazy and not assertive enough.moreless

7.4

EPISODE RATING: Good

17 votes

Your Rating: 10

"Perfect"
Your Rating: 9.5

"Superb"
Your Rating: 9

"Superb"
Your Rating: 8.5

"Great"
Your Rating: 8

"Great"
Your Rating: 7.5

"Good"
Your Rating: 7

"Good"
Your Rating: 6.5

"Fair"
Your Rating: 6

"Fair"
Your Rating: 5.5

"Mediocre"
Your Rating: 5

"Mediocre"
Your Rating: 4.5

"Poor"
Your Rating: 4

"Poor"
Your Rating: 3.5

"Bad"
Your Rating: 3

"Bad"
Your Rating: 2.5

"Terrible"
Your Rating: 2

"Terrible"
Your Rating: 1.5

"Abysmal"
Your Rating: 1

"Abysmal"

Rate It

Cast & Crew

See All EDIT

Donald Trump

Himself (the boss)
Kristen Kirchner

4th Fired
Bill Rancic

The Apprentice

Fan Episode Reviews (1)

See All

Michael – he's a "Boardroom Cliché" and a Worthless Sack of Crap all at the Same Time!

7.2

"Good"

By theaterguy007, Jun 19, 2005 Report Abuse

Michael he's a "Boardroom Clich" and a Worthless Sack of Crap all at the Same Time!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last time on The Apprentice, both of the team's commercials for Dove were really horrible. So Trump changed the rules and made it so that both teams lost. Each Project Manager chose two other people from their team to go into the boardroom, and in the end, Kristen from Net Worth was fired. Up in the suite, everyone was surprised about how firey and attack-ish Audrey was in the boardroom. I don't know why they were so surprised though. Did any of them see her interview sessions? Whatever. They were even more surprised when she returned and Kristen was sent home. Most of them, however, were happily surprised. Audrey says to everyone, "I am a nice person. But the minute you cross me" I'll rip your testicles off. Just kidding. I made that last part up. I didn't catch what she really said. Out on the balcony, Michael declares how shockingly alike he and Mr. Trump are. They're both brash, egotisticaland they both only date European women. Yup, I'm seeing the similarities. Actually, I'm not at all. Not only does Trump have more money than Michael (which I'm so glad that he pointed out) but he's smarter and less chauvinistic than Michael. Erin, who now loves to crap-talk about everyone (and who closely follows John and Audrey as my favorite candidates) says that "Michael's a jackass and he's nothing like Donald Trump. True Dat.

The next morning, Angie gets the phone and is told by Rona (I give up!!! I don't know her name!) to meet in front of Trump World Tower at 8:30 AM. They meet there, and Trump says that Jill Kramer is filling in for Carolyn. This marks the very first time that Carolyn has not been in attendance for an episode of The Apprentice. The fifth task of season three is to redesign two airstream trailers and create any mobile business. The team who makes the most revenue wins. (Oh, and another mini-commercial here comes from Visa, which the candidates will be given 5000 dollars from to renovate the trailers.)

Project Managers are chosen. Tana from Net Worth steps up to prove to Mr. Trump that she has what it takes and that she's good enough not to be chosen to be in the second boardroom. At this moment, I sigh. I like Tana, and I thought that by stepping up to be PM she shot herself in the foot. After all, all four project managers have been fired from this season so far. Whatever, with her teams creativity, she'll be able to "destroy them." Before deciding what type of business they want to do, they go over to check out what kind of airstream trailer they're working with. Over at Magna, Bren thinks that since he was given the Visa card, that must mean that he should be PM. Or maybe he's just trying to make up for his cucumber porn for last week. I'm gonna go with the second choice. Bren admits that his team is not very creative. But they're still smart, so no one worry! In the end, they think up doing some massages. I mean, hiring someone to do massages for customers. Even though it's obvious that Michael wishes he could do some massages on a beautiful European woman. What a pig. Stephanie is the only person against the massage/spa idea. I agree with herit's very generic and not very creative. But she doesn't think up any other idea, so the team decides to follow through with finding a woman who specializes with massages and meeting with her. As three of the workers go over to check out the trailer, Erin, Michael and Stephanie decide to stay at the suite and come up with a name and then make banners and flyers. The best name that Michael can think of is "Massage-a-Go-Go. Kinda like Whiskey-a-Go-Go or Sushi-a-Go-Go." Or how about Michael's-a-Tard-Tard? I think it's got a nice ring to it.

After a commercial break, Donald Trump advises everyone to trust their "instinct" because the best deals are made when using it. He shows himself in Chicago, apparently working on the building project with Season One winner Bill Rancic.

That brings us to Net Worth at their trailer, brainstorming business ideas. Since Angie used to be an actress, she comes up with a Casting Agent have people shell out 25 dollars to see an exclusive casting agent. I thought it was a very good ideauntil they couldn't find an Agent that could work on such short notice. They finally got one though, after offering her $1000, 1/5 of their budget, to work for the entire day. The woman was a key "caster for Sex and the City, and is currently doing a movie with Uma Thurma," according to Tana, along with a few episodes of Law & Order "I was like "Oooooo.that's a big name!" Too bad she doesn't even know the real actress' name, Thurman. Angie pulls through for her team with the idea, but Tara, John and Craig do her one better and actually find an agent after going three hours of listening Angie try to get one.

Cut to Magna Corporation. Michael's putting a pizza in the oven for him to eat. Stephanie's whining about the state of their kitchen. Erin's smacking Michael's ass with a spatula. Just kidding. But that's basically what she's doing as she silences his complaining about the name of their business City Spa on the Move not having the word "massage" in it. Because, of course, Massage-a-Go-Go was so much better. In an interview, Erin mocks Michael, saying that he's like "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! And I have to be like 'Mommy's busy now Michael.'" Things go from bad to worse when Bren asks Michael, Erin and Stephanie to pick up some cheeseburgers for the team. Stephanie points out that "Bren sucks as a leader" and at time management. Michael just thinks that "he's not all there!" Bren must telepathically hear Stephanie's complaining and says that she's "full of piss and vinegar. If I were to take a pool and fill it with an inch of water, that would be Stephanie. Shallow." Hey everyone, we should at least give him points for trying to be funny.

The next morning, the businesses Actor Factor Casting (for Net Worth) and City Spa on the Move (for Magna) open, and Net Worth gets off to a slow start. No one's willing to pay 25 dollars to see an Agent and they don't get a customer until they point out that these people may never get a chance to see a casting director ever. Tana remains positive as ever. At Magna, Michael remains as negative as ever, pointing out every five minutes that a guy can't sell massages to other guys or to women. In the end, both teams feel that they have the challenge in the bag. That evening, Trump calls everyone into the boardroom to announce the winner. Jill reveals that Magna Corp had $918.50 in revenue and George announces that Net Worth took a big risk and it paid offthey earned approximately 80 dollars more than Magna, with $991. Net Worth rejoices, Magna mopes, same old story, you know how it goes. But then something really bizarre happened. Trump congratulated Net Worth, and it was obvious that it was a voiceover. But this voiceover didn't even sound like Trump. More like a Trump impersonator, if that makes any sense. Whether it was DT or not, he rewards the Street-Smarts team with a trip to Mikimoto Pearls (did I spell that right?) where they get to pick out a combined $20,000 of jewelry (In other words, they go to a joyaria, which is Spanish for "jewelry store."). At the store, the team meets up with Miss Universe and Miss USA (who demonstrate all three of their professional wavesthe cupped-hand-turn, the figure-eight-wave and the window-washer.). Chris, John and Craig pick out necklaces for their wives/girlfriends (even though I know that Craig really wanted that tiara), Angie and Audrey get earrings, Tara gets a necklace, and Tana gets cufflinks for her husband, which I thought was really dumb. It's nice that you're thinking about him, but does a man really care if he's wearing pearl cufflinks or dollar-store cufflinks? They all look the same! What would have been better is if she said she got the cufflinks but actually got herself a necklace or something. You know, look good on TV but also look good in person.

Of course, it's raining. That means that it's boardroom time. Magna treks to the boardroom with their heads held highkind of. Michael's peeking his head out of a window in hopes to catch a glance at a hot European model who's walking outside. Trump enters the room and looks to his right (for George) and his left (for Jill, who thank God is not there permanently. She's so boring. And Carolyn rolls her eyes better.) and then to the unsuspecting candidates as he pulls out a pie and throws it at Bren. "April Fools!" he yells. Then Mark Burnett comes onstage and tells Trump that it's only February. Bren is handed a towel, and the real boardroom begins. The Donald asks Bren which two candidates he would replace with Street Smarts candidates if he was ever given the chance. He replies with Stephanie, because she's so negative, and Michael, because he's a lazy ass. Everyone hates Michael. Kendra, and Bren, and Erin, even though she admits that he "has become a boardroom clich." Jill just thinks that he and the entire group didn't market enough, which is why they lost. Unsurprisingly, Bren chooses Michael and Stephanie for the second boardroom, and the crazy thing that the promotional ads puffed up for this episode was Trump's comment to Michael about holding the door for Bren. Then he says something along the lines of "I hate when they are all so phony and act like they love each other." Translation "I'm a richer version of Holden Caulfield." (For those of you who don't understand, read The Catcher in the Rye.)

Before Bren, Michael and Stephanie are called back into the boardroom, Jill announces that she would fire Michael while George would fire Stephanie. They're back in, and Bren says that he would fire Stephanie. Things are not looking good for Stephanie. They look even bleaker when she brings up the whole cheeseburger incident (which from now on I'll refer to as "burger-gate." After all, it was a conspiracy I tell you!) and Bren attacks her. Then Michael idiotically interrupts and the Trump-ster gets pissed off because he's so stupid. I guess Trump hadn't gotten the memo about how much of a worthless sack of crap Michael was. In the end, Trump fires Michael for interrupting Bren and overall being meaningless. He's "lazy, worthless and nothing but trouble." Once again, two things annoy the hell out of me about these firings. First of all, the friggen voiceovers!!! Second of all, the filming of the taxi cab walks before the candidates are even fired. Why is it so hard to film them in the clothes they're fired in?!

Whatever. Next week on The Apprentice, they design a Graffiti Ad for Playstation and (shocking!) TWO STORIES DON'T ADD UP! What will we ever do?

Oh, and I forgot to mention Michael's taxi cab interview. After dismissing his teammates as "backstabbing, conniving people" he says that Magna will be crushed by Net Worth now that he's gone. And my basketball team will be crushed by the opposing team if I'm not there to help. What an idiot.

-Adam Polaski

If you wish to praise my greatness or just wanna talk Apprentice strategy, email me at theaterguy007@aol.com.

moreless

DO YOU AGREE?
1 0

Write a Review

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

See All

Trivia
ADD TRIVIA
- Surprisingly, it is revealed in "What You Didn't See..." that Magna wanted to get Stephanie fired in this episode, not Michael. Edit
- In this episode, no one is exempt, due to both teams losing the week before, a first for seasons 2 and 3. Edit
- This is the first time this season someone other than the losing Project Manager gets fired. Edit
Notes
ADD NOTES
- The Project Managers in this episode are Bren for Magna and Tana for Networth. Trump nearly forgets to tell Tana that she is exempt the next week because of her win. Edit
- When Magna loses the task, Bren brings Michael and Stephanie into the final boardroom, where Michael is fired. The main reason that Trump fires Michael is because of his bad discussion tactics. While Bren is attacking Stephanie, Michael interrupts, pointing the finger at Bren. Trump sees this as a stupid move, his main reason for firing Michael. Edit
- Carolyn Kepcher does not appear in this episode. This is the first time ever that she does not appear. While she is away, Jill Cremer takes her place. Edit
Quotes
ADD QUOTES
- Erin: Michael has become a boardroom cliché. Edit
- Trump: I hate when they are all so phony and act like they love each other. Edit
- Bren: Stephanie's full of piss and vinegar. If I were to take a pool and fill it with an inch of water, that would be Stephanie. Shallow. Edit
Allusions
- Help by adding allusions to this episode. Add allusions