The Apprentice

I Can't Believe It's Not Clutter

Season 3, Episode 14, Aired 4/21/05

Episode Summary

This week's task is to create a new product for Staples that helps clean up clutter. Despite the ongoing clashing between Craig and Kendra, Magna works together, using a focus group and innovating an existing idea, and creates a rotating caddy for storage. The Staples executives deem their idea better than Networth's "Packrat," an illogical and fairly useless storage desk, earning Magna a reward. For their reward, Magna wins personal time with George and Carolyn at a nice breakfast. Networth, meanwhile, ends up in the boardroom, where Bren admits that he is not a risk taker. Trump immediately sees a flaw and nips it in the bud, firing Bren.moreless

6.8

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Cast & Crew

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Donald Trump

Himself (the boss)
Kristen Kirchner

4th Fired
Bill Rancic

The Apprentice

Fan Episode Reviews (1)

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“Can Lawyers Be Creative?” This and Other Pressing Questions Answered This Week!

6.6

"Fair"

By theaterguy007, Jun 19, 2005 Report Abuse

"Can Lawyers Be Creative?" This and Other Pressing Questions Answered This Week!

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Before we begin, lemme just clarify something for all y'all. The finale is not airing on May 5th, like I said in last week's review. Instead, it's airing on May 19th. So, technically, the finale will still be three hours, except it will be one hour every night for three weeks! How exciting! First, we have the task on May 5th, which will involve the final three (interviews) and then the first half hour of the final two, which will basically be the introduction of the tasks they need to do and will likely end with a moment of peril, where both candidates seem pretty much screwed. Then, May 12th will bring us the end of the final task, and I'm almost positive (but don't quote me) that May 19th will be partially live, with the hiring then, and after a brief (though hardly bearable) reunion show. So, basically, when Trump said something like "three hours is a little much to stretch a finale" he actually meant "we can't bore an audience with three hours on the same night. So let's just air three hours on different nights. A smart move by Trump. While the Survivor finale is enjoyable, even though it is three hours (the final two aren't announced until the second hour of the show), the Apprentice finale was one hour too long last year, and it was reflected in the ratingsand the dead bodies. I heard that by the time Jen was rejected, they found three newly dead bodies (apparently of boredom) and one guy that just had a huge knife in his face. WhateverI'm just stating the facts. Now that that's all cleared up...let's move on.

Last time on The Apprentice, Magna unraveled because Craig got all pissy about Kendra's leadership styles and then Kendra got pissy right back at him, because if one person's pissy, everyone's gonna be pissy. I thought that was the unwritten rule about pissiness. Anyway, Chris, who for once didn't get too pissy (instead, he cried. Hey, it made Entertainment Weekly's list of emotional reality TV...but it scored the lowest on the drama-o-meter.) was fired. Too bad. I was beginning to warm up to the guy. Well, maybe not warm up to him. But at least I was starting to lay off the cutting-myself-thing I do whenever he's onscreen.

Okay, so let's fast forward. Another moment of Tana's blunt-but-true insights, where she says of Bren, "He's a funny guy. But I've seen him on tasks, and he's a big zero." Then Bren makes some statement about how he's "tired of getting blood in my mouth. I've bitten my tongue so many times." Alex displays his pride for Bren, and the two go out to eat again. For the second time in one night. Whatever, it's probably on DT's bill.

Next morning, the phone rings and Rona tells Tana to have everyone meet in Trump's office. The people from Staples are there, who tell the candidates to create a new product to get rid of clutter in the office. He also says that there will be no more exemptions after Kendra's (last week), following the formula from last year. Project Managers this week are a slightly reluctant Alex for Net Worth and a slightly spazzy Craig (hey, now that Chris is gone, the producers need someone to pick on). Craig starts talking to his team about brainstorming, and scolds Kendra when she tries to suggest some things out loud. Geez, Kendra. Stop disrupting Craig's vision. He needs to try to find something up there. And Tana, she just needs to eat her sandwich (confused? Read on.) Kendra confesses that "Craig and I have dysfunctional communication."

Over at Net Worth, Bren and Alex decide to do a focus group, but carried it out totally wrong. They called up, like, four office managers, and most wouldn't even listen to them, so they had no idea what people actually wanted to buy. Then, they decided to do even more things by phone, by choosing to call the Staples judges by phone instead of meeting with them in person. It was a key oversight on Alex's part, because in the end the phone disconnected. After a commercial break, where we get some always-useful advice from the Donald ("Take Control." Be a leader. Clips have no relevance to the topic again. I think one of these WftD segments should be "Get a Better Writer Than I Have."), Magna's focus group, led by Tana and Kendra, is shown, with Craig nowhere in sight. Later, Craig starts scolding Kendra in the Staples store, because she really thinks that they should get file folders but Craig doesn't want to. He talks to her as if she's two, I tell my sister, and in the next scene, Kendra agrees with me. Craig tells her that "I'm giving you respect you don't even deserve young lady." Kendra shoots back with "Young lady?...If you're trying to create a friendly work environment, then you're doing a piss poor job." She seems to truly hate him, and I think I do too. He's done nothing talented in the whole competition (Oh, get over it! It was just a box! Not a trunk!). In the next cut after their little blowout, Tana takes a bite of her sandwich, and the scene ends.

Soon after the fight between Craig and Kendra, Magna is forced to make a presentation of their space-saving item, a lazy-susan organizer thing that actually looked pretty cool. Kendra says to the camera, "Even though he's an ass, me and Craig share the same desire to win. And we're able to put on a happy face. It's kinda like faking a marriage that went bad years ago." Oh, by the way, that's the quote of the week. Then, they do a cheesy skit, and Net Worth goes to do their presentation. Alex says during his disaster of a presentation (the item: a table thing that takes up more room than it's worth. It has a glass thing on top of the table, so that you can lift it up and take out files from the "in" and "out" boxes. The glass is just so that you can see your files underneath it. But you can't touch 'em. That's the secret! Hahaha.I'll stop.), "I just saw people during the presentation light up, going 'Oh, wow. I wanna buy that!" Even though I saw, "Holy crapthat looks like something I threw away years ago. I tried donating it to a foundation for poor children, but even they wouldn't take it away from me." But still, I guess the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bren and Alex need their eyes checked.

It doesn't take much brains to realize who won: Magna, and their team reward was a breakfast or lunch in the Rainbow Room, apparently an exclusive restaurant. It gave them time alone with Carolyn and George, and they were able to see them as real people, not just Trump's lackies. Bren and Alex go to a restaurant of their own the same one that they went to before Chris was fired and the same one they went to after Chris was fired. They need to find some new restaurants. Either way, they went for coffee, and to say goodbye to each other.

After their truly touching moment that had me weeping, Magna makes the trek to the boardroom, on the way to some more degrading comments from the Trumpster himself. In fact, the boardroom segment starts out with a comment like that, when he asks "Can lawyers be creative?" because Bren and Alex are both lawyers. Then again, so is George, so I don't know how he felt about the situation. I would be pissed, but that's me. I guess you have to take into consideration that Trump doesn't even like George very much. Prefiere Carolyn. A bit later, Trump asks what they were thinking when they made the piece of crap that was their "space saver" and Alex says "I think I would like to get the rights to sell that." Seriously, he was setting himself up for this one. "It would be quite easy to do so," says Trump, with great sarcasm and "let-me-poke-you-with-a-stick" cruelty. Then Carolyn shares the truth about the project; it was too big, not practical, and it makes no sense. In the end, Bren really did himself in when he said that he had problems taking risks. What a tard. What is DT saying week after week after week? He needs someone who can take risks. After Bren said this, Carolyn gave him a look that would be given to a guy who had just called his girlfriend fat, inadvertently. He was fired, and rightfully so. Albinos in Bow Ties don't belong in any Reality TV show. Speaking of other reality TV shows, Trump makes a great reference to two clones of The Apprentice, when he says "[Richard] Branson [host of Fox's The Rebel Billionaire] went after me. And I killed him. [Mark] Cuban [host of ABC's The Benefactor] went after me. I killed him." My sister didn't get it though. Which took another six point five minutes to explain.

Next week on The Apprentice, it looks like it's Street Smarts versus Book Smarts one last time as the final four compete in a round (during the Final Four) that is not interview-based. I can't wait. I hated those damn interviews. Did anyone really watch them? I don't think so. An interview is sad (not weepy sad, pathetic sad check notes from the "Whopper 101" review) enough without being televised. Then again, if that was the case, we might never have The Donald, Carolyn, and Ashlee Simpson-slash-Paris Hilton look-alikes.

-Adam Polaski

-There are only four more Apprentice reviews left until the fall! So tune into those last four...or die! What's the best way to make sure you're able to read them? Why, I'm glad you asked! Just drop me a line at theaterguy007@aol.com and tell me you wanna join my mailing list. You don't need to supply a message, just put that in the subject box. Sure, messages are appreciated (and even if you don't wanna join the list, you can still send me your comments.) Speaking of comments from readers, Jill wants Tana to win but doesn't like Craig too much. Like, at all. And Spice (Baby Spice? Or Posh Spice?) thinks that Alex's nickname should be Dumbo. She predicts Tana and Kendra to be in the final two, and hopes that Tana takes it all.
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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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Trivia
ADD TRIVIA
- This is Networth's eighth consecutive loss, further extending the biggest losing streak in the history of The Apprentice. Edit
- Kendra's winning streak has now increased to eight wins. Edit
- This is the first time that George and Carolyn have accompanied a team on a reward instead of Trump. This is also the first time where Carolyn mentions her family. Edit
Notes
ADD NOTES
- The Project Managers in this episode are Craig for Magna and Alex for Networth. Craig will not be exempt next week because next week, only four candidates will remain. Rather, it will be a regular task. There is now a three-way tie among Craig, Kendra, and Tana, as all three of them have now won twice as Project Manager. Edit
- Trump fires Bren when he and Alex, both on Networth, lose the task. Edit
Quotes
ADD QUOTES
- Alex: Bren is my oasis in this vast imbecilic land Edit
- Bren: I'm lower than whale crap on the bottom of the ocean in Mr. Trump's eyes. Edit
- Kendra: Even though he's an ass, me and Craig share the desire to win. And we're able to put on a happy face. It's kinda like faking a marraige. Edit
Allusions
ADD ALLUSIONS
- Trump makes a reference to Mark Cuban and Richard Branson, both who created failed reality shows - The Benefactor and The Rebel Billionaire, respectively. Edit
- The title of this episode is a clear reference to the popular butter spread, "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter". Edit