Intellectual Horsepower...Some Have More than Others
After last week's shocking (shocking!) episode, I didn't know if any episode could ever be better. Well, my prediction proved correct, as this episode just wasn't as fast-paced, spending only a few minutes on a task that resulted in two candidates being fired. Then, the remaining half hour was spent on the final two's last task, even though an entire three hours is devoted to this next week. Translation: It Stank! But, it wasn't the worst episode ever, so I guess I'll review it.
Okay...after last week's tear-wrenching boardroom (Or maybe it was just my onion cookies...you never know) Kevin and Kelly return to the suite. Later into the night, Mean Girls-esqe drama ensues, as Kelly and Sandy are shown mocking Jen's hesitation to be Project Manager on the previous task, behind her back. And I'm really proud that Jen stood up to the mean military man and gave him a piece of her mind. She's been made fun of unceasingly because Kelly knows that she is his toughest competition. Anyway, my Jen-bias aside...Kelly snipes about her to Sandy because he's a little girl, Jen snipes to Kelly about him being a little girl and we know the episode has officially begun when Sandy calls a meeting for the emotionally unstable. (And you said I was biased.)
The next morning, Kelly answers the phone, for the third week in a row, doing both a service and a disservice to us male viewers. He's wearing a shirt this morning, so instead brings the shirtless Kevin along on his field trip to the phone. The secretary lady (is it Rana?) tells the candidates to meet Mr. Trump in Trump Tower, and of course, they all do. (That really annoys me. I mean, wouldn't it be incredibly awesome if someone just bitch-slapped Trump to knock him off of the high horse that he so regally rides. Just because he's worth like a gazillion dollars doesn't make him king of the world, does it?) DT announces that the task of the week will be interviews. Yawn. The interviewers, Alan Jope, Dawn Hudson (the lady from Pepsi, one of The Apprentice's sponsors!), Alan "Ace" Greenburn and Bob Kraft (Owner of the New England Patriots, and I didn't care enough to take notice to what they did for a living, besides appearing on reality shows.) are introduced.
And the Q & A sessions began! It turned out that Sandy was not a good speaker, and didn't really get her point across, while Jen and Kelly did excellent. At least Kevin controlled his little "sweating issue" and didn't start a flood on the Pepsi lady's desk. But besides the occasional laugh, I'm glad the montage of questions like "Have you ever fired anyone?" "Have you ever lied?" "What are your weaknesses?" "What are your strengths?" and "How many doughnuts have you eaten in the workplace?" (to which I would have replied: No. No. True. All of the Above. 68.4.) was fairly short. They weren't really that interesting, but I think the producers could have used more than 3 minutes of footage.
After a commercial break, the show returned, back in the boardroom with Trump, Carolyn, George and the interviewers (did anyone else catch the whole "Donald Trump Talking Bobble Head advertisement? Looks fun. If it comes with free money!). They revealed their thoughts on the four candidates. They all loved Kelly but they thought that Kevin was too aggressive and too educated (which makes no sense at all). Jen is apparently "bright but unfocused" and Sandy is "likeable but would probably not make a smooth transition into the corporate world." The D-Man dismisses the nice men and the Pepsi lady and calls in for the people who really matter: Jen, Sandy, Kelly and Kevin. The boardroom erupts like a volcano on Vanuatu (you liked that little cross-promotion thing, didn't you?) when Kelly accuses Kevin of not being creative. To which Kevin says that Kelly is not receptive of other people's opinions (true dat!). Apparently, others' opinions aren't important in Trump's book because a few minutes into the boardroom, Kevin is told that he is fired. So Kevin leaves the hotel, with a coat on. I just don't understand why producers would film the walk-to-the-taxi while the contestants are wearing their coats if they won't be wearing them when they're really fired. I asked my friend P this a few weeks ago. She said she didn't know. More on her later.
Back in the boardroom, Trump says that Kelly is basically guaranteed a spot in the finale because the interviewers loved him so much, and then he asks Kelly his opinion of the two ladies. Jen immediately mutters "He's only worked with me once." and then Kelly gets all pissed because she interrupted him, saying "can I have an opinion?" I have a few choice words for him, and I'm just saying. Sandy stupidly butts into the conversation, saying how Jen cannot take risks. The fiery Jen comes back with a fiery remark (which is ironic, because she wasn't fired.) about how it was a huge risk moving to San Francisco for her education. Sandy attacks Jen's education, saying something about how it restricts her creativity and the two have a little verbal brawl (very hard to understand), and Jen definitely came out less scarred than Sandy. Sandy's point didn't make any sense. She can't attack someone because they have a superb education. So, in the end, Trump kind of slapped Sandy in the face by saying that she probably couldn't grasp the complexity of running one of his corporations and she was fired. I was glad. I really like Jen, if you haven't noticed.
So, we have our final two! And I couldn't be happier! Actually, I could be. I would have liked to see Pamela in the final two along with Jen. (What's your opinion on the final two? Email me at email@example.com and I will be sure to post your opinions in my next review.) So, the two go back to the suite, and of course, Jen's and Kelly's opinions of each other are revealed on-air. What a surprise! Jen thinks that Kelly is arrogant and commanding (ahem, she's right, ahem) and Kelly thinks that Jen is impersonal, which may not be entirely false, but she's pretty friggen hot. After another commercial, the advice-of-the-week is shown. This week it's: "Winning is Everything." So that means, if winning is everything, then losing is...give me a second...nothing! How optimistic! Cut to the boardroom. Trump announces for, like the fiftieth time that one million people applied for his show. Congratulations. He assigns the future Apprentice, Jen...and the average runner-up their tasks. Kelly is to orchestrate a charity polo match for the Alzheimer's Association of America or something, and Jen is told to conduct a charity basketball tournament for the NBA's Read to Achieve Foundation. Six of the previously fired Apprentices appear...Elisabeth, Pamela, Chris, little Stacy, John, and Raj. I have no idea how they picked these specific six to come back, and didn't do it how they did it last year. Last season, the last 8 or 9 fired came back, starting with Omarosa. Maybe that was just a chance to get Omarosa to reappear and screw things for Kwame. Anyway, teams are picked; Kelly picks Elisabeth, Raj and John, and Jen gets Stacy R, Pamela and Chris. They set out on their tasks almost immediately, and Kelly and Jen get to ride in really nice cars. I forget what they're called. The workers ride in regular cars. What made me laugh was a few minutes into the task, Kelly runs out of his car and gives his workers some crap. He yells "I love you guys" at them, and when he's gone, Raj goes "He loves us?" and John assures "He loves us." Made me chuckle. What I found even funnier was the fact that Kelly's team doesn't seem to care about Kelly, besides Elisabeth, who appears to want to make even a bigger ass out of herself. Raj actually said during the episode "I couldn't give a damn about Kelly," which is really apparent as he wastes time on the task by challenging John and Elisabeth to a race. (Right on!)
Back on the Jen front, she doesn't appear to be doing so well. While delegating tasks out, she appears to have missed the fact that talking to the NBA is pretty important. Also, the business ladies didn't appear to like her when they visited. Whatever. You don't need them, Jen. But, what she does need it Chris Webber (You know, the "tall black guy."). At the last minute of the episode, it appears that Jen is doomed as he has cancelled his spokesman-ship of the event. So, basically, Jen's screwed if she doesn't have him. And Kelly may just be screwed as well. It's gonna rain! Woo-Hoo! Next week's finale looks like it will be good, and Jen better win, because I made a bet with this girl at school for candy (I get a crapload if Jen wins) and I already made an ass out of myself with this episode review. And with my friend P. I basically said that Kelly was a cotton-headed ninnymuggin. SoÂ…let's cross our fingers that Kelly...gets diarrhea or something and can't attend his polo match! How great would that be?
Agree? Disagree? (You better not!) Email me with your opinions at firstname.lastname@example.org!