The Celebrity Apprentice

Season 3 Episode 2

Motel 666

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Jan 27, 2005 on NBC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Motel 666
This week's task is to renovate a motel along the New Jersey shoreline, in hopes of recieving the highest customer rating for staff friendliness, and overall cleanliness. Despite some problems involving Verna walking off of the task because of lack of energy, Magna averages a 3.97 customer rating, winning a yacht ride with Steve Forbes. Networth's problems on the task are apparently sufficiently larger - PM Brian decides to buy brand new toilets instead of spending the money on something more worthwhile - proved when their customer ratings only average a 2.92, sending them to the boardroom, where Project Manager Brian is fired after he admits to Mr. Trump that he did the worst on the task.moreless

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  • They're all "Wonderful People" – Except for the Quitter and the "Silly Little Man."

    They're all "Wonderful People" – Except for the Quitter and the "Silly Little Man."


    Last time on The Apprentice, season three began with a new twist – book smarts vs street smarts, and in the end, Todd was fired. Oh well. This week, up in the suite, the candidates contemplated which of the three men from Magna Corporation (Danny, Alex and Todd) were sent home. Of course, everyone thought that Danny would get the cobra-strike that week, and nobody really seemed to care. Of course, that all changed when Danny and Alex walked through the door and everyone either yelled "Oh my God!" or quickly got up to hug Danny. Partying ensues, and then the candidates settle down for some shut-eye. The next morning, Rana or Sophia or Lana, whatever... The lady on the phone calls the suite, telling Kristen to tell everyone to meet Mr. Trump across the street from Trump International Hotel, where so many of these Apprentice tasks begin. After pointing out Danny's nice new suit, the Donald announces that the candidates will have to refurbish, renovate and remodel a motel along the Jersey shore and then run it for one night. The winner will be decided on which team gets the better grade according to (Product Placement Alert!) Yahoo something or other.

    In the Net Worth van, Kristen gets pissed off when Brian steps up to be Project Manager (the first of many times that she gets pissed.) She's never really liked Brian, and thinks he's a crappy leader. Team Net Worth gets to renovate the Surf Side Motel, which I'm sure viewers will want to visit after we see this episode. Kristen is delegated the job of budget, and immediately, she is overthrown by a few people who want a dumpster for 700 dollars. I think that Kristen's my favorite so far (closely matched with John and Tana, both on Net Worth). She's so firey and she makes me laugh, especially when she gets pissed off. I predict that she'll be the beotch of the season (season one – Omarosa. Season two – Ivana.) Cut to Commercial. Cut to the Donald once again thrusting his words of wisdom upon viewers – "Respect comes from Winning." What a great moral to teach small children who may be doesn't matter how hard you try. If you lose, you won't be respected. Over at the Sea Garden Motel for Magna Corporation, Michael has been chosen to be PM, and Verna has been put in charge of Customer Relations and Accounting. Which causes some issues. Verna asks Michael what to do, and tries to stress her point that Customer Relations is more important than remodeling the motel. So far, I've agreed with the women for both of the conflicts in this episode, but that's just me.

    We return to Net Worth Corp, and Brian is "the best at negotiating." That's why he negotiates with the contractor to get him 14 brand new toilets, completely blowing their budget. When the team finds out about this, viewers, for the first time, get to hear Craig (the guy whose name I forgot last week) speak...about toilets. And even then he doesn't say much. I smell a Kwame and a Kevin! Audrey has a little bit more to say, actually bringing us to our Quote-of-the-Week. "You're not gonna know if you're sitting on a 500 dollar toilet or a 5 dollar toilet. Your ass doesn't know the difference!" Made me laugh. Here is also the moment where we see pissy Kristen # 2. On the Book-Smarts team, I count 6 candidates, 1 asshole, and 1 anal woman. The last two were Michael and Verna, respectively. Verna keeps saying how she needs to do some more customer relations work and Michael shoots her down, saying that she gave her "a pretty cushy job, so just shut up." Now, that's what I call teamwork!

    Next up, we have a really nice heart-to-heart with Brian and John. Brian claims that "Donald Trump is exactly like me. And if people don't like me, they can go frig themselves." Personally, I didn't know frig could be used as a verb. And since when does Brian have an objection to swearing? AnywayÂ…Brian keeps talking about how he doesn't need a team and John quickly silences him (for a little bit) that "if you think that, then you're a silly little man." Then he says something about "screwing a poodle," whatever that's supposed to mean, and then the two get into cuss war. Now I'm not trying to be a parental figure here, but I personally draw the line at "frig." I don't want them bleeping out every single word in a conversation. Either don't air the ********* conversation or tell the ******** contestants that they can't ********* swear on ********** national television. **** that. Now that I have that off my chest, I can say that The Apprentice should be rated PG-13 for the following reasons: the "screw the poodle" sexual reference, the cussing war between Brian and John, the cheap motel renovations, the bad morals (Winning is Everything) that this show teaches, and above all, when Verna failed to look both ways before crossing the street (see more on that later).

    The guests begin to arrive and Magna's hospitality rocks. It's one big party over there, with a meet and greet, and a way to get the guests out of their crappy rooms! Genius. Net Worth, on the other hand, is too loud, and not in a good way. They disrupt their guests when Brian and Kristen have a major blowout, and when Angie and Audrey try to stop them from yelling, Kristen (Pissy Kristen # 3) yells right back at them. I think she may have a few problems, but I still love her! The Street-Smarts team does not mesh well. Then again, maybe Magna doesn't really either. Verna walks off of the task because she is physically and mentally exhausted. She put too much stress on herself. Carolyn shows her caring, motherly side when she convinces Verna to rejoin the task, giving her a ride home. Let me just say that Carolyn is a very nice woman, it seems, and whoever doesn't agree...I'll have her attack you with her evil side!!! At the Sea Garden Motel, Erin, in her interview sessions becomes like a true Paris Hilton, saying that Verna had the easiest job out of everyone. Oh, and I take back the Paris Hilton look-alike comparison last week. She only acts like her interviews she looked really bad.

    Coffee (from Dunkin Donuts, another Product Placement example...oh and don't forget Target.) is supplied at both team's "continental breakfasts." The customers really hated their stays, so they revolt against the teams and slowly carve their arms off with a meat cleaver! Just an extent. Well, that was awkward enough. Let's get to the boardroom!

    Trump regally walks into the boardroom with his spiffy tuxedo on (he has to make a speech) and he announces the customer reviews. Net Worth was "loud about everything they do," and one person believed that the "carpet wasn't vacuumed." Their score was 2.2. Magna, meanwhile got "fresh paint smell was horrible" and "If you wanted to have fun...come here" in their fortune cookies. They scored, earning a 3.96, thus beating Net Worth Corporation and enabling Michael to be exempt from being fired next week. The reward for Magna was pretty boringÂ…so I'll just leave it at they got a yacht ride with Steve Forbes. While Magna rowed their boat gently down the stream (merrily, merrily, merÂ…okay, I'll stop), Net Worth faced yet another screaming competition, this one involving John and Brian. John "watched you (Brian) the whole taskÂ…you (Brian) suck!" Well said. Well said. The team treks to the boardroom, and John, exempt from last week's win, chooses not to wave his exemption. As soon as Mr. Trump starts asking about the task, Brian steps up and says that he did a terrible job and deserves to be fired. What an idiot! Mr. Trump thinks so too. What I didn't get was why, later on in the boardroom, Brian got really defensive when people started to attack him. He wanted to be fired! He starts to curse at John again, and Carolyn scolds him, telling him not to curse in the boardroom. Other potential firees are discussed by Trump, including Kristen, but the most bizarre one was definitely Chris. He has like a complete spasm when Angie says that he should be fired, and he screams at the team, saying, with a break between every other word "I do not have hands-on experience! I don't do this stuff!" etc, etc. All that I see him saying, however, is "I'm schizophrenic! I'm schizophrenic!" He's much more schizophrenic that Stacie. Whatever.

    In the end, however, Brian is fired, because Mr. Trump believes that he was "arrogant and wasn't smart." He was, in Carolyn's words "a waste of our time." At least they didn't waste time with a second boardroom. There's always a bright side to things! In Brian's cab ride "home" he only says like two sentences and then for the rest of it, he just sits there, because apparently there's nothing more to say. Guess he doesn't want to be famous. I'd love to see him throw his cab door open and throw himself out of it, just for kicks. You know what I mean? Like, what a way to go would that be?

    Next time on The Apprentice, one of the candidates says these two words: "Bean Burrito!" Wait, that's on NBC's other reality show, What's your favorite Mexican Dish? The candidate actually says "I Quit!" and leaves in the first five minutes of the show. SO that means that two people will be going home next week. What a way for NBC to shorten the run. They probably paid the person to leave. That is so like those "wonderful people" at NBC. Actually, I don't know anyone at NBC. I wish I did. Then again, I wish I had a Mohawk too, but things don't always work out. Until next week (which will be a little late, look for it around Monday), I'm Adam, signing off.

    - Adam Polaski

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

Himself (the boss)

Kristen Kirchner

Kristen Kirchner

4th Fired

Bill Rancic

Bill Rancic

The Apprentice

Carolyn Kepcher

Carolyn Kepcher

Herself/Trump's assistant

George Ross (II)

George Ross (II)

Himself/Trump's assistant

Robin Himmler

Robin Himmler

Herself (Trump's Secretary)

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions