EVERY MOMENT = A TAPESTRY OF LIES
We've run Monday's best scenes through our proprietary bullsh*t-translating technology to decode what everyone was really saying during first dates.
What to watch on Monday, May 30.
TRUE (FAKE) LOVE
The quest for true-love-by-way-of-fake-romance began anew for one special lady and a few dozen relatively qualified attention-whores.
Is your favorite show returning next year? Did that stinker finally get canceled? We're keeping track of all the shows right here.
Plus: More details on that awesome REM pilot, another No Ordinary Family actor finds new work, and more fake love for ABC!
Plus: Bad news for Heidi and Spencer, weird news for moviegoers, and great news for unruly children.
LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE
Last night, Bachelorette Ali made her big choice, but what was going through the minds of the other guys? We take our best guesses.
What to watch on Monday, August 2.
The president of ABC Entertainment has abruptly resigned from the top spot after six years on the job; ABC's stagnation and his personality are rumored to be the reasons.
The field of desperate men has narrowed to three: the sensitive mama's boy, the love-a-phobe, and Senor Suave. Who will win Ali's heart for a few weeks?
What to watch on Monday, July 12.
SAFE FOR WORK
Also, True Blood's Jessica has a video blog. Here's where everyone will be clicking today.
Plus: His Reeg-ness is hosting the Daytime Emmys, the Jake and Vienna drama will unfold before our eyes, and AMC is ripping off Friday Night Lights.
Plus: SyFy is letting YOU make one of its horrible movies, Glee brings in an exchange student, and a Criminal Minds loses some ladies!
What to watch on Monday, June 21.
Plus: Amy Poehler has girl power, Kevin Spacey wants to play a cult leader, and Jerseylicious gets a second season.
What to watch on Monday, June 7.
What to watch on Monday, May 31.
THE WEEK IN REVIEW
On our this this week: Lost, Lost, Lost, 24, Lost, and some other stuff.
SAFE FOR WORK
Here's where everyone will be clicking today.