Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
Betty Jo Bradley Elliott
(Sam is talking about Howard Hewes' land)
Sam: He raises barley, corn, and rye.
Granny: You can make good stuff out of them.
Granny: I mean stuff like bread.
Jed: Sure ya do.
Howard: Ya ever happen to come by my place, drop in. I'll give ya three fingers of bread.
(Howard and Granny start laughing, and Jed gives Granny a look)
Granny: What did he mean, Jed?
(Elly asks Jethro if he should first join the Air Force and then get the uniform, and Jethro says that just getting the general's uniform then joining is easier)
Elly: Well, I guess you know what you're doing.
Granny: Well, if he does, it'll be the first time.
Steve: Do you know what you could get for wearing a general's uniform?
Jethro: Everybody asks me that. Must be a bundle.
Steve: What you could get is the Federal Penn!
Jethro: No thanks. No pen. Uncle Jed don't want me foolin' with nothin' sharp.
(Jed tells Drysdale he is going in business with Howard Hewes)
Drysdale: Mr. Clampett, could you describe Mr. Hughes to me?
Jed: Yeah, he's, uh, right here. He's uh, I'd say he's a kind of a ordinary lookin' fella: kinda tall, lanky. Uh, he's got on an old shirt, a pair of work pants, and some old faded sneakers.
(Drysdale smiles and covers the phone with his hand)
Drysdale: It's him! It's him! Howard Hughes, the billionaire!
(Jethro climbs in the plane)
Jethro: Hey, how do you start this rascal?
Steve: The engine's inoperative.
Jethro: Well, let's fly over there and get it!
Steve: Mr. Clampett, if ya like the idea of buying out Uncle Joe, I'm sure he'll be amenable.
Jed: I don't wanna get him riled.
Jed: We're goin' over to see Steve's crop-dustin' air plane.
Granny: Dust crops with air planes?
Steve: Yeah, ya see Granny, you fly real low over a field.
Jethro: Steve, I'll explain it. She don't understand aerodynamics like I do. Ya see Granny, air planes got a fan out front called a propeller, spins around and makes a big wind. Understand? Well, anyway, Steve flies low over the fields and the wind blows the dust off the crops. That's what ya call crop dustin'.
(Granny and Jed are watching Elly hold the baby)
Granny: Oh Jed, wouldn't it be nice if Elly had a baby of her own?
Jed: Yeah, but uh, first it'd be nice if she had a husband of her own.
Jed: Andy don't say much, does he?
Granny: No. But when he does, it sure ain't worth listening to.
(Betty Jo tells Steve the General wants him to give him flying lessons)
Steve: Aw honey, somebody's joking.
Betty Jo: Do General's joke a lot?
Steve: No, I've heard that they don't.
(Jethro says he going to find Steve Elliot to get flying lessons)
Sam: Well, Jethro, I wouldn't wear that uniform.
Jethro: I don't blame you. Wouldn't come close to fittin'.
Sam: Jethro, do you know what you can get fer wearing a General's uniform?
Jethro: Not exactly. But I bet it's plenty.
(Sam and Howard see a general, Jethro, getting out of a helicopter)
Howard: You reckon we're being invaded?
Sam: I don't think so. You don't usually find a general leading an invasion.
(Jed bends down to pick up the family's luggage)
Drysdale: Oh, Mr. Clampett, don't pick up those bags. You could hurt your back. Miss Hathaway. (signals her to get them)
(Granny hits Jethro with a skillet after he was trying to use his "General's" powers on her)
Granny: What do ya say now, General?!
Jethro: Reckon that'll teach you a lesson. You done ruined a good skillet.
(Granny gets a letter from Hooterville)
Elly: I bet cha it's from your sweetie Sam Drucker!
Granny: Sam Drucker ain't my sweetie. He's crazy, mad, head-over-heels, desperate in love with me. But he-. Oh, it ain't from my sweetie. I mean Mr. Drucker.
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