The Beverly Hillbillies Season 7 Episode 18

Jethro: Did you have that color TV set installed in the back seat of my limo?
Chauffeur: Yes JB.
Jethro: And my stereo tape deck?
Chauffeur: Yes JB.
Jethro: And my two telephones.
Chauffeur: Yes JB.
Jethro: Oh, what about the snack bar and refrigerator?
Chauffeur: They're installed JB.
Jethro: Good. Now I can have vittles, watch TV, and long distance my clients while we's rushin' betwinst studios.
Chauffeur: There's just one problem JB.
Jethro: Huh? What's that?
Chauffeur: You'll have to ride in the front. There's no more room in the back.
Jethro: Oh. Well, that's show biz.

(Jethro tells Jane becoming Roy's agent will ruin his image)
Jethro: After all, could I introduce that bridge-runner to Elizabeth Taylor?
Jane: No you couldn't.
Jethro: Ya see?!
Jane: You don't know Elizabeth Taylor.

Jane: I hope you haven't given up your job at the club.
Bunny: I was going to. After all, a vice president shouldn't do a striptease.
Jane: That's show biz.

(Jethro says not to hold dinner because he might eat with the Rat Pack)
Jed: Rat Pack?
Granny: If there's free vittles in it, he'll eat with varmints.

(Bunny is rehearsing her number when Jed and Roy walk in. She pops her hip and knock Jed and Roy's hats off)
Bunny: I'm awfully sorry. I didn't see you.
Jed: Well, that's alright ma'am. I, uh, hope ya didn't hurt nothin'.

Jethro: What's a eviction notice?
Bunny: I don't know, but it looks marvy.

Drysdale: I'm going to tell Uncle "Sugar" that his nephew is on the road to success as one of Hollywood's bright, young agents.
Jane: How do I cooperate?
Drysdale: By avoiding the truth at all costs.

(Granny says she'd love to hear the songs on Roy's record because she's been cooking for when they return from recording)
Elly: Well, the record will be out in a couple of days Granny.
Jed: Yeah. You can hear it then.
Granny: Good. Good. How would ya like to wait a couple of days for yer vittles?
Roy: You know what I think I oughtta do Mr. Clampett?
Jed: What?
Roy: I think I'll play another "Double Eagle" right now.
Jed: I appreciate that Roy. I'm as hungry as you are.
Granny: Did ya hear that Elly? Roy's gonna play! What a nice surprise!

(Bessie is wearing an agent outfit just like Jethro's)
Elly: Ain't she cute in her agent outfit? Just like Jethro.
Jed: Makes just about as much sense.

(Jethro says that he has unlimited credit with the bank)
Drysdale: Who Okayed that deal?
Bunny: I did, Pussycat.
Drysdale: You don't work for this bank.
Bunny: I did when I Okayed his credit.

(Jane and Drysdale are watching Bunny rehearse after coming in to speak to Jethro)
Drysdale: She and Jethro make a great pair. Between them, they have the IQ of a retarded mosquito.

Jethro: Chauffeur, drive me to the MPPA on the double.
Chauffeur: Yes sir. Motion Picture Producers Association?
Jethro: No, no, no. Mother Panolias Pizza Automan. I'm starvin'.

(Granny tells Roy she wants to hear what's going on his record)
Jed: Granny, you got more excuses for making that boy entertain you.
Granny: I like it Jed.
Jed: Ya make him sing for his supper, play the guitar for his laundry, and strum the banjo fore you turn his bed down.
Granny: That's true. I'm glad that this excuse come along. I was runnin' out.

Roy: This fella's got big plans. He wants to use the biggest recording studio in Hollywood, hire the best musicians on the West Coast, get a vocal chorus to back me up, and put out an LP album with my picture on the cover.
Jed: Well doggies!
Roy: There's just one little hitch. He ain't got no money.

(Jethro turns Roy down, and then Drysdale and Jed tell him his album is huge hit)
Jethro: Hey, hold it Roy! I said there was gonna be a lot of crawling! Well, here it comes! (gets down on the floor and crawls) Look at me Roy! I'm crawling! (crawls after him shouting)