The people who come to visit Jed and Granny from the tap dancer to the fire eater, etc. seem to think that the mansion is a talent agency.
Granny: Get that truck movin' boy.
Jethro: Where we goin', Granny?
Granny: To that Greedy College.
Jethro: I think it's "Greely."
Granny: I think it's Greedy. And as long as it is, I'm gonna buy me one of them half-hour doctor certificates.
Jethro: Hey Granny, how bout buyin' me one to be a brain surgeon?
Granny: I'll price it.
(Granny and Jed are trying to cure the man spiting fire out (the fire eater))
Granny: Take that man to the kitchen! Give him some bakin' soda and buttermilk!
Jed: Be sure and get the jug with the buttermilk. Ya give him some of Granny's corn squeezin's, and he'll hiccup this house to a cinder.
Jed: Where ya goin' Granny?
Granny: Goin' with Jethro. C'mon boy!
Jed: Where's Jethro goin'?
Granny: He's goin with me!
Jed: Now then Dr. Bodine, supposed that the X-rays don't quieten her nerves.
Jethro: Then I'll just hafta yank them rascals out.
Jed: That don't do it?
Jethro: Then I'll just hafta remove what they call the entire skeletal structure.
Jed: Granny, I'll get that college to make you a doctor if it takes ever cent I got.
Granny: They offered to make me one. Even give me a test.
Jed: They did?
Granny: Asked me the craziest dern fool questions you ever did hear. Had me puttin' pegs in holes and lookin' at spilt ink! But I passed it!
Jed: Good fer you!
Granny: That's what I thought, until they put me in that white doctor's coat. The crazy, dern, fool thing had sleeves that tied in the back.
Jed: That don't make no sense at tall.
Granny: If Jethro hadn't been there to rip it off of me, I'd still be tryin' to get outta it.
(The Clampetts are looking at Jed's honorary doctorate degree)
Jethro: Hey Uncle Jed, when I wanted to be a brain surgeon, everybody said that I had to go to college eight years to be a doctor.
Jed: Well, that's what I heard. But I reckon it's like the old saying goes, "Nothing graces the shoot like money."
Tina Marie Brockert, the tap-dancing child in this episode, is actually Teena Marie, the classic soul singer who appearaned on a whole lot of shows throughout her career. This is her very first TV appearance.
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