Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
Flo Shafer (1969-1971)
Honest John/Shifty Shafer
Spanish - English dictionary, as according to Honest John:
Iguana – pleasure
Tacos – rude
Tortilla – marvelous
Oy vey – unbelievable
Escondido Avocado – money
Guadalajara – love you/forgive you
Yuck – on a diet
Sierra Madre – Mother (a term of endearment)
Caper – a Spanish delicacy made of olives and wine
Flo – a term of endearment Honest John uses for his "mother"
Jersey City – a quaint little hamlet nestled in the hills of Barcelona
(Drysdale refuses to give Jed the money)
Jed: You're acting awful tacos. You should be more tortilla.
Jed: Yeah. It's a good thing Granny ain't here to see him.
Jane: I believe you're talking about a thin, crusty, corn product.
Jed: That's Granny.
(Granny mentions the front hall safe behind the mirror)
John: You keep goat cheese in it?
Granny: Well, I used to keep it in my root cellar, but the Board of Health made me take it out.
(Granny gives Flo some of her tonic, after she fainted from the smell of Granny's goat cheese)
Flo: Holy cow!
John: Very religious woman, my mother. You see, in Spain, the cow is sacred. The bulls, they don't treat too well.
(Flo and Shifty are talking about their plan to trick the Clampetts)
Flo: What if they say something to me in Spanish?
Shifty: Are you kidding? They can barely speak English.
(After Flo had some of Granny's tonic, she is feeling very sensitive)
Flo: Shame on you. How can you be so rotten?
John: What's rotten? C'mon, let's go. Driver, the bag!
Flo: NO! This belongs to the sweetest people in the whole world. And you're not gonna take it from them. You crook!
Flo: Sierra Madre to you.
John: Oh boy.
Flo: Those sweet people in there never gave us anything but iguana, and now you wanna be tacos! I'll never Guadalajara you again!
(Drysdale feels sick after learning the truth of Jed's plan)
Jed: Granny will have you feeling iguana in no time.
Jane: Iguana is a great big lizard.
Jed: No ma'am, it's a big pleasure.
Granny: You could have met Jed's partner and his Sierra Madre.
Jane: Sierra Madre is a mother mountain.
Jed: Well, she was kinda stout, but I wouldn't go that far.
(Flo is crying after having some of Granny's tonic, wanting to give the money back)
Jed: Why is your Mama cryin'?
Honest John: Homesick. Homesick for the place of her birth.
Flo: Jersey City.
Honest John: Um, quaint little hamlet nestled in the hills of Barcelona.
(Granny tells Jane about the plan to drill a hole through the mountain to get rid of smog, but not for oil)
Jane: I trust that Mr. Clampett's secret partner is a qualified engineer.
Granny: Oh, I don't think they's gonna run a train through the tunnel. Just smog.
(Honest John introduced his "mother," actually his wife, to the Clampetts, and she keeps repeating the same phrase)
John: Not only does she speak no English, she speaks very little Spanish.
Jane: Chief, Mr. Clampett is you friend, your largest depositor, your benefactor. How can you undercut him?
Drysdale: That's what I'm trying to figure out. How?
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