There is absolutely no way the policemen would let the Clampetts get away with their homesteading in Central Park, no matter the Irish factor.
Jed: Well Granny, we didn't find you a blacksmith shop, but we sure found one hum-dinger of a general store.
Granny: Biggest I ever did see. What was the name of them fellers that run it, Jethro?
Jethro: Well, let's see. There was three of em: Aber, somebody, and, and Fitch.
(Elly says that she wants to go home to Beverly Hills)
Jed: What do you think Granny?
Granny: Well I gotta admit that I miss my still.
Granny: Uh, peace and quiet. I like it still.
Granny: You know Jed, watching that boy eat is a hideous sight.
Jed: Well of course you can always look away. It's the noise you can't get away from.
(Granny tells the police officer she's going to live in Central Park)
Police Officer: Lady, are you daft?
Granny: No. I can hear fine.
(The Clampetts are walking around New York)
Granny: Reckon we'll find a blacksmith, Jed?
Jed: In a town this size? Sure.
(The Clampetts are praising Honest John, but Drysdale tries to tell him he's a bad man, though soon he gives up)
Drysdale: He's an angel. I love him. He's the sweetest, kindest, darlingest, most adorable, precious doll of a man that ever lived.
Jed: We's fond of him too, but uh, let's not get sickening about it.
Jed: Is Mr. Drysdale with you?
Jane: Well yes, but right now he's out searching for you in a taxi.
Jethro: Heck, it hadn't oughtta take long to search a taxi.
Jane: No, no, no, I meant. Hmm. You're right Jethro.
(Drysdale doesn't tip his cab driver, which does not make the driver happy)
Cabbie: Look sport, you had me driving all over the island of Manhattan, looking for four creeps. I got two traffic tickets because you had me watching the sidewalk when I should have been watching the street! Now are you gonna give me a tip?
Drysdale: Very well. Invest in railroads.
(Officer O'Sullivan meets Jethro)
Tim: Oh, would ya look at that face? He's got the map of Ireland all over it.
Granny: I thought I told you to wash.
Tim: Tell me, was there a Pete Bog near your place?
Jed: I don't recall Pete, but there was a Clem Bog.
Tim: I'm not familiar with Clem Bog, but we used to cook with Pete.
Jed: We used to fish with Clem.
Tim: Oh Granny girl, you got the finest family a man could meet.
Granny: You ain't met Jethro yet.
Drysdale: Now look, we've got to find the Clampetts. I want you to get in a taxi. (Jane doesn't look happy) I'll pay for it, don't worry. You can owe me.
Tim: And what's your name, child?
Elly: Elly May,
Elly: Oh sure.
(Granny tells the cop Honest John said they could live in the park)
Granny: That's what he told my son-in-law.
Tim: And what might his name be?
Tim: His last name?
Granny: Oh, Clampett.
Tim: O'Clampett you say?
Granny: That's right.
Tim: And where might he be from?
Tim: Bugtussle, huh? Is that by any chance in the old country?
Granny: Taney County.
Tim: Taney County?! I'm from Cork myself.
(Jed and Jethro are examining the fish Granny caught in Central Park)
Jed: These gafilties looks a lot like bass, don't they?
Granny: Yeah. Sure hope they taste like em.
Jed: C'mon boy. We gotta cut us some more logs.
Jethro: Can't we have vittles first?
Granny: I ain't cooked em yet, buzzard boy.
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