The Beverly Hillbillies

Season 8 Episode 18

Marry Me, Shorty

Aired Unknown Jan 21, 1970 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • Granny tells Elverna that they can be harem girls because they've seen movies where Theda Bara "vamps fellows like Elmo Lincoln." Elmo Lincoln and Theda Bara never appeared in a movie together.

    • Elverna says that when she got to the gate, she looked back and noticed Shorty wasn't there. Shorty left with Gloria only about a minute or two before Elverna did, and he returned only about a few minutes after he did. So, Shorty and Gloria couldn't have gone far in about ten minutes. Where'd they go?

  • Quotes

    • Drysdale: Bring in the newest prisoner, twin of a toad.
      Jane: At once, light of the world. And may thy royal tonsils grow to the size of watermelons.
      Drysdale: I've got to get a new camel driver.

    • (Elly just took her bear away)
      Shad: Jed, that didn't seem to bother you at all.
      Jed: I'm used to it.
      Shad: Didn't scare you either Shorty.
      Shorty: Shad, when you're facing marriage to Elverna Bradshaw, five hundred pound bear don't even faze ya.

    • Elverna: I don't know if like the idea of him going to a bachelor party tonight.
      Granny: Well look at it this way Elverna, it's the last fun he's ever gonna have.

    • (Shorty is talking to Jed after being caught with Gloria, and Elverna comes out of the house, furious)
      Elverna: Shorty Kellems, where did you come from?!
      Shorty: Elverna, if you don't know that, you ain't ready to get married.
      Elverna: You know what I mean! What happened to you?
      Jed: Well uh, somethin' big come along, Elverna.
      Shorty: Yeah, and I had to grab it!
      Elverna: An opportunity?
      Jed: You could say that. Yeah.
      Elverna: Does it look promising?
      Shorty: Yeah.
      Jed: No. Well, uh, what we mean is uh, yeah it looks promising and uh, no it ain't gonna work out.
      Shorty: It ain't Jed?
      Jed: Not a chance.

    • Granny: Where's Shorty?
      Elverna: That's what I'd like to know.
      Shad: Ain't he asleep in the back seat?
      Elverna: Wait till you see what's asleep in the back seat. Wake up you hairy little critter!
      (Elverna shakes what is sleeping in Shorty's jacket)
      Granny: Sounds like Shorty to me.
      (Elly's ape comes out of Shorty's jacket)
      Granny: Land's sakes. I've heard of a frog turned into a prince, but somebody's turned Shorty into a ape. Did ya kiss him Elverna?

    • (Jed and Shad are worried about Shorty going to his bachelor party)
      Jed: I think maybe we just better show up at that party.
      Shad: I think maybe you're right.
      Jed: After all, it was us that talked Shorty into proposing to Elverna.
      Shad: It's us that's got to see it through.
      Jed: Besides that, we might just have some fun.

    • (Drysdale tells Shorty to sample some of the treats)
      Drysdale: Nectar?
      Shorty: No, I didn't touch her.

    • (A girl holds up a tray of sweets for Shorty to sample)
      Harem Girl: Candy of the East.
      Shorty: Shorty of the West! (shakes her hand) Glad to meet ya, Candy.
      Drysdale: That is a tasting, tempting confection.
      Shorty: She is that.

    • (Jane hits a gong, signaling Shorty the Sheik entrance)
      Shorty: That sure clears a feller's sinuses.

    • Drysdale: Now, I want you to take some pictures tonight so Shorty will have a record of his bachelor party.
      Gloria: Okay.
      Drysdale: "Okay Grand, Sublime, Majestic One."
      Gloria: You don't have to call me that.

    • Granny: We's seen enough of them pictures where Theda Bara vamps fellows like Elmo Lincoln. (puts a veil on) Who do I look like Elverna?
      Elverna: Ooh, Theda Bara. (puts a veil on)
      Granny: And you're a dead ringer for Elmo Lincoln.

    • Elverna: I don't like the notion of you going to that bachelor party tonight.
      Shorty: It's alright Elverna. I liked it enough for both of us.

    • Shorty: What'd you say I was supposed to be, Jethro?
      Jethro: A sheik.
      Shorty: Nah, I don't wanna be no sheik.
      Jed: What does a sheik hafta do?
      Jethro: He just lounges around on a bunch of pillows with a whole flock of pretty girls.
      Shorty: I'm a sheik!

    • (Elverna is questioning Shorty having a bachelor party)
      Elverna: Where?
      Shorty: Gloria's place.
      Elverna: Where?!
      Shorty: Glorious place. Beautiful. Just glorious.

    • (Shad, Shorty, and Jed look at the slave girls up for auction at Shorty's party)
      Jed: Ain't exactly like back home, is it Shad?
      Shad: They don't have sales like this at the emporium.

    • (The slave girls tell Jed and Shad they are for sale as a trinket is)
      Slave girl 1: We are bubbles, bangles, and beads.
      Jed: We're Jed, Shad, and Shorty.

  • Notes

  • Allusions