Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
(Jethro mentions smoking crawdads, meaning the small crustacean, while Buddy and Stella mistake if for pot)
Buddy: You ever smoke crawdads, Robin Hood?
Jethro: Why sure!
Buddy: (to Stella) I knew he was on something.
(Jethro, who captured Stella and Buddy, is trying to get more people to join his Robin Hood group)
Jethro: Hey listen. If I untie ya and feed ya, will you promise to join my Band?
Buddy: Sure. What kind of music do ya play?
Buddy: Are you Granny?
Buddy: You the one who smokes crawdads?
Granny: Yeah. How'd ya know?
Buddy: Well I heard. Ya got any on ya?
Granny: No. Jethro took em all.
Jed: That's the boy we's lookin' fer. He dressed like Robin Hood totin' a bow and arrow. He's got a pretty girl, a hound dog, and a ape with him.
Buddy: Sounds groovy. How'd he get on that kick?
Jane: He means how did it all start?
Jed: Well, we was in our castle in England and Jethro went out in his knight suit chasin' dragons through this rose garden.
Buddy: Tell me something old timer, do you smoke crawdads?
Jed: I have.
Buddy: How bout you?
Jane: No, not I.
Buddy: I'm glad you're driving. Would you drop me off at the Sunset Strip? I've got to tell my friends about this.
Jane: Certainly, hop in.
Buddy: Thank you.
Jed: You're gonna get them to help you look fer Robin Hood, huh?
Buddy: Sure Daddy, sure. Tell me Granny, how long since ya smoked a crawdad?
Granny: Smoked some this mornin', when we flew in from England.
Buddy: Did you use a plane?
Granny: Of course.
Buddy: I'd like to hear your version of this Robin Hood story.
Granny: Well, it really started back at the castle, when that big dragon dog ate Cousin Marcus.
Buddy: Get me to the strip baby! I've got to spread the word about Robin Hood and the crawdads!
(Granny is complaining to Jed about how Jethro is probably suffering while Jed is trying to get a cup of coffee without luck)
Jed: Well, that's enough coffee. How bout a bite to eat?
Granny: Did ya hear that? His nephew is laying out there, dying in the woods, and he's guzzlin' coffee and stuffin' himself with food.
(Stella sees Jethro as Robin Hood in the forest)
Stella: That sign we saw. It said this was Griffith Park?
Stella: I mean like, it wasn't Sherwood Forest?
Buddy: Of course not baby, that's Robin Hood's pad.
Stella: Well I know. But he's here.
Buddy: Robin? That's nutty.
Stella: Buddy honey, I see the big grabber.
(Jethro and Elly switch places, so Elly is now in the spot Jethro just was, and Buddy sees her.)
Stella: Do you see Robin Hood?
Stella: Wearing tights? Great build.
Buddy: Yeah! Yeah!
Stella: Well, don't be jealous honey, but physically he's my kind of man.
Buddy: Mine too, baby! Mine too!
Stella: Daddy calls you that hippy creep.
Buddy: Baby, what do I hafta do for that old grouch? I put on shoes (shows his sandals), some nice treads, even cut my hair (shows his shoulder length hair).
Stella: Buddy, I don't think we should stay here. My mother wouldn't like it.
Buddy: With your mother I wouldn't like it either.
Granny: (on the phone) I say I'm challenging you to a feud! A real gun-totin', sharp-shootin' fight to the finish!
Jed: Granny, I told you we ain't feudin' that castle.
Granny: I'm talkin' to Mrs. Drysdale next door.
(Jed grabs the phone from Granny)
Jed: Right in front of her husband?
Granny: It was him put me up to it!
(Jethro wants to be Robin Hood and have his Merry Men)
Jethro: But we's gonna rob the rich!
Drysdale: Forget it! The government beat us to it.
(Mr. Drysdale pulls up with Jethro on a throne, but stops and Jethro is thrown off. He hops down and meets Jed)
Jed: Jethro, get that stupid looking thing off the truck.
Jethro: You heard him, get off the truck!
(Jed gives Faversham the check for ten million dollars)
Faversham: Mr. Drysdale knows about this?
Jed: Them stains on there is his tears.
Jed: I ain't about to start no World War III between England and Bugtussle.
Granny: You mean we's gonna feud em?!
Granny: Is it legal here in England?
Jethro: For us castle folks, it's a way of life.
Granny: Now this is what I call a civilized country!
Granny: Jed, let's pack up and get home. We don't belong in no castle.
Drysdale: Oh Granny, I love you. (kisses her, because he wants to leave too)
Granny: What is it about this England that turns every man into a sexy genarian.
(Drysdale tells Jed of the castle's 10 million dollars of debt, which Jed thinks is a good thing for Drysdale)
Drysdale: You don't get the money, you have to pay it.
Jed: How come?
Drysdale: Because of the death of your distant cousin, the late Marcus.
Jed: Well, I hear tell he was a pretty old feller. I don't hardly think it's my fault he died.
Alan Reed Jr., Buddy, also played the hippy Sheldon Epps.
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