The Beverly Hillbillies - Season 7

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CBS (ended 1971)

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crazyrhythm

User Score: 313

Episode Guide

  • Collard Greens an' Fatback
    3/26/69
    7.5
    Granny is cooking collard greens and fat back for the Spring Collard Festival, just as the Drysdales are planning to sell their house, to move into the house on the other side of the Clampetts. As the possible buyer, Pat Boone, is touring the house, he smells an unusual odor, which Mrs. Drysdale covers as orchid fertilizer. But Boone, who comes from Tennessee, knows it is collard greens and fat back and heads to the Clampetts. The Clampetts welcome him, but after they hear he lives on singing, they believe he’s a drifter who has fallen on hard times. When Drysdale hears Boone has befriended the Clampetts, he believes he can up the price of the house. But when Mrs. Drysdale learns Boone has investigated the Clampetts, she drops the asking price to ten thousand, upsetting her husband. Pat Boone ends up refusing what Mrs. Drysdale sold the house for and performs at the Collard Festival.moreless
  • The Jogging Clampetts
    3/19/69
    8.8
    Granny sees Mrs. Drysdale chasing her husband, unaware that they are jogging, saying that she is really going to beat him. She starts believing that Mrs. Drysdale is beating her husband and the violence will spread. When Elly says that she beat Jethro, Granny worries the violence has spread, but Elly and Jethro clear everything up, telling her they’ve been jogging. This explains what the Drysdale were doing, though Drysdale has taken up jogging to land the thirty million dollar account of the president of the Beverly Hills Jogging Club. After Granny gives Drysdale a complete examination, solving his freak blood pressure, she says he is healthy enough to jog. He goes jogging with Jason, the president of the Jogging Club, just as Elly and Jethro are forming their own club. Drysdale collapses, and after Jason insults Drysdale’s doctor, Granny, she challenges him to a jogging match, and wins. And Elly and Jethro get members of the Beverly Hills Jogging Club to join theirs, after they followed the jogging Elly.moreless
  • The Guru
    The Guru
    Episode 24
    3/12/69
    6.4
    Jethro decides to become a guru, only to get the women they get, and seeks the help of Mrs. Drysdale's guru, who is really a fake just after money. Granny tries to bust him, but after the two have some moonshine, she ends up becoming the Great Mother, the Queen of Gurus, herself. She decides to go to India with the guru. Drysdale hears of this and calls the police to arrest a phony guru, and when the police do show, they end up arresting Granny in her guru getup.moreless
  • Sam Drucker's Visit
    Sam Drucker's Visit
    Episode 23
    3/5/69
    9.0
    The Clampetts return from giving up J.C. Enterprises, and Granny gets a telegram saying that Sam Drucker, who won a trip to Hollywood, is going to visit, thinking he is coming to propose. When he arrives, she tries to get him to believe she is the goddess of the handsome Hollywood actors, as does Jethro, who doesn’t want Granny to move to Hooterville. Sam listens to all of Granny’s stories, which Jed is having quite the time listening to. Jethro, who is helping Granny with her tales, asks Dash Riprock to pretend to date Granny, also mentioning that the Lone Ranger is her hero. Dash, to help Jethro to ensure the clan stays in Beverly Hills, comes to the mansion as the Lone Ranger, and he and Granny ride off.moreless
  • The Happy Bank
    The Happy Bank
    Episode 22
    2/26/69
    8.9
    Drysdale is sick of the Clampetts running their various businesses on the fifth floor, but more of the bank employees, secretaries, visit J.C. Enterprises. One secretary, Carol, is scheming to get Jed to take interest in her, after learning how much he’s worth, while Granny is treating Louise Cats, who she tells Drysdale is a bank employee, actually just a pregnant cat of Elly May’s. Drysdale hears of this, and after Granny says they don’t know who the father is, he worries that this news of an unwed mother will get out. And Carol uses this story to her advantage so Drysdale will allow her to visit with Jed and give her a raise. But Drysdale is safe in the end, and the Clampetts finally decide to leave their business on the fifth floor. That is until, a real pregnant cleaning woman visits Granny’s maternity ward, and Drysdale freaks out about it.moreless
  • The Hired Gun
    The Hired Gun
    Episode 21
    2/19/69
    9.3
    The Clampetts are opening up J.C. Enterprises at a decent hour, five o’ clock in the morning. Drysdale is getting tired of his largest depositor’s waking him up early and of their practices. To get the Clampetts out, he hires a hired gun to scare the clan. Drysdale and Homer, the hired gun, strike up a plan where Drysdale “defends” the Clampetts, and Homer threatens them. Their plan goes into action, and after Homer threatens to wipe Drysdale out, Jed tells Drysdale that they’ll leave the fifth floor to save him. But after Drysdale returns to his office, and Homer leaves, Jed calls Drysdale office to tell him that he is their greatest friend, and they are going to stay on the fifth floor to fight with him, making Drysdale question where he went wrong.moreless
  • The Phantom Fifth Floor
    2/12/69
    8.6
    The Clampetts are in charge of the fifth floor, with their all-purpose offices. Jethro, the Crowned Prince of Show Business, decides to move his talent agency to the mansion. Meanwhile, the building inspector sees Elly walking with an advertising sign telling people to follow her to the fifth floor of the Commerce Bank building and questions what's going on up there. To cover, Drysdale tells him that the Clampetts are mourning the death of Jethro, the Boy Genius of Hollywood, because he jumped out the window, and the Clampetts are occupying the fifth floor awaiting the return of the brilliant agent. He visits the Clampetts and after visiting with them and talking with them, he thinks that they are on their way to improvement. Drysdale gets out of another one, until Granny is able to almost pull all his teeth out for the upper plate Jed whittled.moreless
  • Jed Clampett Enterprises
    2/5/69
    9.2
    Drysdale evicts Mr. Show Business, the Boy Genius of Hollywood, Jethro, and his talent agency, from the fifth floor of the bank building and, so he can collect his five thousand dollars-a-month rent, rents it to Jed, who, along with Granny, turns it into a combination wood shop/dentist office/hospital/barber shop/and pet shop. J.C. Enterprises opens for business, and provides its medical services to Drysdale. After he realizes that the Clampetts need patients, Drysdale decides to send the bank employees up for the medical services.moreless
  • Cousin Roy in Movieland
    1/29/69
    8.8
    Cousin Roy is working on his album, with the Clampetts’ support. The clan is still hoping that Jethro, the self-proclaimed biggest talent agent in the business, will represent Roy, but the flesh peddler still isn’t interested. Drysdale is still trying to get him off the fifth floor of the bank. To collect rent, Drysdale tries to get Jed to back Jethro by telling him he's decided to back Roy. To ensure this, Jane tells Jethro that if he doesn’t represent Roy, he will lose his office. Jethro takes Roy and redoes his image as a folk rock group, Blue Boy Roy and the Electric Zoo, which includes Fairchild the bear and Bessie the ape. During Roy’s performance, Drysdale tells Jed that Roy’s album is a smash hit, and after the performance, Roy gives up the look Jethro gave him. Jed and Drysdale tell Jethro to continue as Roy’s agent, but Jethro says the only way he will is with a lot of crawling. Then Roy learns that his album is a success, and Jethro crawls on the floor after him, begging to be his agent again.moreless
  • Jethro the Flesh Peddler
    1/22/69
    9.0
    Jethro has started a new career, as a flesh peddler, a talent agent. He gets set up on the fifth floor of the bank to run his office. Drysdale learns that the talent agency he rented the fifth floor to is actually Jethro and isn’t too happy about that, hoping to get Jethro out. Meanwhile, at the mansion, Cousin Roy has stopped in Beverly Hills to record an album, and the clan tells him that he should get Jethro to be his agent. But Jethro turns him down, depressing Roy, making him want to leave. Elly convinces Roy to stay in Hollywood by flirting, and Roy decides to go through with making the album.moreless
  • Problem Bear
    Problem Bear
    Episode 16
    1/8/69
    9.1
    Drysdale has come down with the flu after spending so many nights outside while on the way to Hooterville. Granny wants to help him with her Possum Ridge Penicillin, also known as White Lightening. She leaves Drysdale a jug of it, but he puts it to the side and takes a sleeping pill. However, Elly’s bear Fairchild has taken up drinking Granny’s moonshine and climbs into his room as Drysdale is sleeping and drinks the entire jug. When Granny checks on Drysdale, she sees the jug empty and believes he drank it all. She leaves another jug, which Fairchild gets hold of, and when the Clampetts return, they believe he drank another full jug. Meanwhile, Mrs. Drysdale is upset that her husband only has a common flu, but after he tells her he saw a hairy creature float out, a drunken Fairchild, and a little nurse, Bessie, she cheers up. She shows her friend, but Mrs. Van Ransonhoff sees the animals and wants to learn more, asking Granny what she knows. And Granny reveals everything, embarrassing Mrs. Drysdale.moreless
  • Drysdale and Friend
    Drysdale and Friend
    Episode 15
    1/1/69
    9.4
    The Clampetts and Miss Jane return from spending Christmas in Hooterville to learn that Drysdale has driven after them, along with Fairchild, Elly’s bear. Back in the hills, Drysdale gets arrested for vagrancy and bootlegging in a place called Ripley. When they learn, the people at the bank couldn’t be happier that their boss has been locked up. But the hillbillies and Jane are desperate to get Drysdale out and try to find out where it is. They contact Sam Drucker in Hooterville, who heads to Ripley to try to help Drysdale out. He doesn’t exactly succeed, and Drysdale’s case happens the following morning, with a mean judge. But after the judge learns Fairchild treed his wife, the Judge starts loosening up. The Clampetts come to help Drysdale, and end up befriending the judge, and all the charges are dropped.moreless
  • Christmas in Hooterville
    12/25/68
    9.8
    The Clampetts and Miss Jane arrive in Hooterville for the holidays, but Jethro and Drysdale stay behind. On Christmas Day, Jane calls her boss to wish him a Merry Christmas, but he is in a bad mood. After he tells her that she is fired, Jane tells him that she could just go to work for Sam Drucker, since Jed gave him a new bank. Upon hearing this, Drysdale passes out. When he comes to, he decides he needs to go to Hooterville to save his largest account. But Jethro refuses to drive him and tells him to take the truck, along with Elly’s bear, which he does. Meanwhile in Hooterville, Granny is trying to figure if Sam has proposed to her or not, and after hearing him talk to Elly about a marriage, to Eb who wants her hand, Granny believes that Sam likes younger girls. So to appear younger, she dresses as a Victorian-age girl and scares both Sam and Uncle Joe off.moreless
  • The Week Before Christmas
    12/18/68
    9.7
    Granny gets a letter from Sam Drucker in Hooterville, but Elly's bear eats it. So after Granny finds very little success knowing if she is engaged or not, Jed, Granny, and Elly all decide to spend Christmas in Hooterville.
  • The Hot-Rod Truck
    The Hot-Rod Truck
    Episode 12
    12/11/68
    8.9
    Jethro wants a new car, embarrassed by the truck. He buys two new cars for two different images he is trying. But Jed tells him to just get a few new parts. Granny, who is celebrating her birthday, believes that they are planning to replace her. But she learns the truth, and wants the truck to stay the way it was. Jethro ends up getting a whole new front for the truck, and when Jed tells him to fix it, he gets a whole new back. Granny gets the mechanics who fixed up the truck to put the old truck together, and to settle what is the better automobile, the two race their cars. Granny, with the help of her moonshine as gas, wins the race, and Jethro wants the hot rod truck back.moreless
  • The Courtship of Homer Noodleman
    12/4/68
    9.8
    The Clampetts leave Hooterville, after spending Thanksgiving there. They return to their mansion, telling Drysdale and Jane about the boy Elly started dating. When Drysdale hears of this, he decides to get a country boy to come and court Elly. He employs Dash Riprock to play country boy, Homer Noodleman. After the Clampetts are introduced to Homer, Granny wants to meet his father. Drysdale arranges it, getting Jane to pose as the father after promising her the sweetest roll she’s ever seen. Jethro enters and asks Drysdale if he can have one of the sweet roll in his car, and Jane learns she has been tricked. She calls Homer Noodleman rotten, and Dash calls his “father” an old nut. Jane chases Dash out of the house and throws sweet rolls at Drysdale. Elly comes in and asks where Homer went, and Granny and Jed tell her to forget him.moreless
  • The Thanksgiving Spirit
    11/27/68
    9.1
    The Clampetts head to the little town of Hooterville to spend Thanksgiving with the folks of Petticoat Junction and Green Acres. Jethro goes there as a big Hollywood producer to get some girls, and Granny is excited about seeing Sam Drucker. Drysdale is against this because he is in fear of losing his biggest account. He tries to stop them, but has no success. Jane lends the Clampetts her car so they can travel in style. From the moment they arrive in the little town they find enjoyment. Elly meets Eb, a country boy who is crazy about her, and Jethro meets the beautiful Bradley girls. Plus Granny is reunited with Sam Drucker. The clan ends up having one of the best Thanksgivings of their lives.moreless
  • Bonnie, Flatt, and Scruggs
    11/20/68
    8.4
    The Clampetts are preparing for Lester and Gladys Flatt and Earl Scruggs' visit, not knowing they are doing promotional shots for the movie “Bonnie and Clyde.” But when they find out, the Clampetts start taking interest. Jethro and Elly borrow Lester and Gladys’ Bonnie and Clyde costumes and scare Dyrsdale. When he finds out, he decides to play a prank on Cratchit, an accountant. Two cops arrest him, thinking he is actually a gangster. Jane gets him out of jail by telling the police they were shooting a Bonnie and Clyde commercial for the bank. This gives Drysdale an idea to make a commercial where all the great bandits on the thirties clean out every bank in Los Angeles and when they get to his bank, Super Banker stops them, which was what Jane told the cops. He gets the Clampetts and Gladys to play the gangsters and Flatt and Scruggs to do the theme. The commercial goes well, until the cast "robs" the bank and drives off, after Cratchit allows it to happen, since Drysdale cheated him out of money.moreless
  • The Great Cook-Off
    The Great Cook-Off
    Episode 8
    11/13/68
    8.3
    Even though the Clampetts are enjoying Maria’s cooking, Granny is upset that there is another cook in her kitchen. She wants Maria to leave, and Jed knows Maria leaving is the best thing to make everything alright. Though, Jethro is in love with Maria, hoping to marry her. Jane figures out a way to get Maria in good with Granny. She arranges a meeting between the two cooks, and Jane tells Maria to answer “Yes” to everything. However, Granny tells Jane to leave during the meeting, and Granny questions Maria if she is trying to marry Jed, to which she answers "Yes," as she was instructed. Jethro overhears this and believes Jed stole Maria away from him and challenges his uncle to a gladiator fight, which never happens. Granny decides to let Maria stay, after hearing her real story, and teaches Maria some dishes, which leads Maria to create Country Italian cuisine.moreless
  • The Italian Cook
    The Italian Cook
    Episode 7
    11/6/68
    8.3
    Granny has been staying in Petticoat Junction, and her family is hungry. Elly May decided to take over the cooking, though her dishes are worse than eating nothing. The clan asks Granny to come home, but she says she can’t. So Jane suggests to Jethro that he hire a cook, and he ends up getting a gorgeous cook that only speaks Italian. The new cook, Maria, prepares delicious dishes for the family, but Granny does not know about this girl. She receives a telegram from Jethro that says the family is desperately starving and comes home right away. She sees the family eating spaghetti and thinks they are eating boiled string. She learns the telegram was a lie and chases Jethro out of the room, so Jed and Elly finish their meal.moreless
  • Granny Goes to Hooterville
    10/30/68
    8.9
    Right after the Clampett's return from London, Granny gets a letter saying to go to Hooterville. The problem is that nobody knows where it is. Granny tries to find out, but doesn’t have much luck. Jethro, who won’t get any food from Granny since she is focusing on Hooterville, is desperate for food and accidentally eats Elly's grits and rocks for her critters. Granny has to “doctor” him back to health. While entering the kitchen, she mistakenly sees Jed holding Miss Jane, after she hurt her back, and thinks they are getting married. She tells Drysdale, when he comes over, and he has Jane get back to the office where she is rewarded for her hard work. In the end, Granny leaves to go to Hooterville, and the whole romance of Jane and Jed is cleared up.moreless
  • Ghost of Clampett Castle
    10/23/68
    6.2
    The Clampetts are enjoying their stay at Clampett Castle, but Drysdale wants to get back home. The staff at the castle is enjoying the Clampetts staying at the castle, hoping they'll stay and see the castle's ghost. When Drysdale hears the story, he tells the Clampetts about the ghost. Lady Clementine, making up a story about a murderer. The tale scares Granny, making her want to leave. Jethro plans to get rid of the ghost himself by holding a séance. When Drysdale learns of this, he decides to have a ghost appear to scare them. That night, Granny is very nervous, but prepared. Drysdale speaks as a ghost, and after he threatens Granny, she shoots her gun. Jane backs out at playing Clementine, making Drysdale wear the costume. But when Granny sees this, she shoots the ghost, causing Drysdale to run and scream, which scares Jethro. The Clampetts leave the next day, hoping to visit the Queen. Drysdale and Jane stop this from happening, and they just board the plane.moreless
  • Coming Through the Rye
    10/16/68
    6.3
    Jethro has taken up on spying on the next castle and has caught sight of the Colonel’s lovely niece, Sandy. But when he shows her to Granny and Jed, she has moved and her brother, Emlyn, wearing a kilt, has stepped to where she was. The clan starts believing that Emlyn is Sandy. Jethro believes that Sandy is intent on marrying him after she was joking with him and tells his family that they are going to marry, depressing Granny. When Jane and Drysdale visit, Jane clears everything up and tells them that what they see is a man in a kilt. Jed tells Jethro, and Granny confirms it, and Jethro thinks the family is trying to make him crazy. Soon after, the Clampetts meet the real niece, who tells them that she cannot marry Jethro because she is just a commoner. All is alright, and the Clampetts, the Colonel, his niece and nephew, Drysdale, and Jane have a square dance to celebrate.moreless
  • War of the Roses
    War of the Roses
    Episode 3
    10/9/68
    6.3
    Jethro challenges Colonel Dumbarton at the castle next door to the second War of the Roses, to which the Colonel accepts. The Clampetts now have that, and are still hoping to give the deed to Canada back to the Queen. Drysdale arranges Queen Elizabeth I to visit the castle, since the Clampetts still think she is in power. The Clampetts are preparing to fight their war before the Queen comes. Granny trains a few staff members, but Jethro announces he has a plan to end the War of the Roses, with a joust. They charge one another and get knocked off their horses. But Jethro is the first one to get off the ground, meaning the Clampetts win the War of the Roses. After having their success in war, the Clampetts meet Queen Elizabeth I, actually Jane is disguise, and return the deed to Canada, get their name cleared of coward since they won the war, and Jethro gets knighted.moreless
  • Something for the Queen
    10/2/68
    6.2
    The Clampetts, Drysdale, and Jane are heading to their castle in England. Their plane ride isn't the easiest, especially for Drysdale and another passenger. Jethro smuggles Elly's turkey buzzard on board, and Drysdale is attacked by it in the bathroom, as well as another man who has the misfortune of being seated near the clan. But after getting toniced, the man is alright. The Clampetts finally arrive in London, after driving all around trying to find Buckingham Palace. After not knowing about staying at a hotel, the clan heads to their castle, and Granny decides to once again continue the fight of the War of the Roses against the castle next door. When the Colonel fires his canon, Granny, Elly, and Jethro believe the war is on.moreless
  • A Bundle for Britain
    9/25/68
    6.3
    Drysdale arrives to tell the Clampetts they now have eighty million dollars in his bank, giving them a Japanese transistor radio, and making them believe he has suffered to make their money as much as it is. After he leaves, the Clampetts want to unload their burden on Drysdale. Jethro tells him he should give the money to England, because they sold “Queen Elizabeth” and “Queen Mary.” After learning it was ships that have been sold, the Clampetts decide the Queen needs help, and they decide to take out their money and give it to the Her Majesty. They tell Drysdale, and he has to prevent it from happening, so he hires an English actor to pose as the Queen’s minister to stop this. However, after the actor learns of their fortune, he decides to take advantage of the opportunity, selling the deed of Canada to them. The Clampetts decide to head to England and give the deed back to the Queen.moreless
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Monday
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