Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
(The stewardess is saying good-bye to everyone and the man who drank Granny's moonshine, got attacked by the bird, and overheard Jethro and Drysdale talking comes out)
Stewardess: And did you enjoy . . . your flight sir?
Man: Oh yeah. Yeah. Plane ride was nice too.
Stewardess: Excuse me? If you look out the window you can see Winnipeg.
Stewardess: We're over Manitoba now and pretty soon we're going to be flying over Ontario.
Jethro: I don't care nothin' about that. Just tell me when we get to Canada.
Drysdale: Where have you been?
Elly: All over London.
Jed: Jethro should've told us he didn't know how to get here.
Jethro: Didn't want you to think I was stupid.
Jed: Oh, no chance of that.
(Jethro is saying how he smuggled his friend on the plane)
Drysdale: Well who is she?
Jethro: I'll give ya three guesses.
Drysdale: Elizabeth Taylor?
Jethro: Guess again.
Drysdale: Give me a hint.
Jethro: Well, she got a long nose, beaty eyes, scaly legs, and three toes on each foot.
(The man listening puts his magazine down and asks the stewardess for a tranquilizer and then leaves)
Drysdale: Beaty eyes, scaly legs, three toes on each foot.
Drysdale: And her first name is Daisy.
Drysdale: Oh, she's sitting back there with Mr. Clampett.
(The man listening in on Drysdale and Jethro stops listening after getting sick)
Man: Miss, could I have a tranquilizer?
Stewardess: Oh of course. Your first flight?
Man: My last.
(Faversham tells Granny that the man next door is a retired Colonel of the Queen's Indian service and is usually in his cups)
Granny: Jethro! Elly May! Well youngins, I'm afraid we got our feuding cut out for us. The old fella in the next castle is a Indian fighter. Won cups at it!
(The Clampetts arrive at their castles, shouting "Faversham" as they drive up)
Tetley: They seem very fond of you sir. They're calling your name.
Faversham: Ha ha. No, no, they usually call me "Major" or "Mr. Domo." They think "Faversham" is a greeting.
Jed: Faversham, Mr. Domo!
Faversham: Faversham sir, and welcome to all of you from all of us.
Jed: Tell Mr. Drysdale the Clampetts is going to their castle.
Granny: He means chicken house!
Jed: Anybody see a street sign?
Elly: I seen one Pa. It said this here is Rotten Row.
Granny: Stop right here Jethro. This is where we belong, Rotten Row.
Jed: Where are we Jethro?
Jethro: We's in , what cha call, Hyde Park.
Granny: Good. Pull up to them bushes and let's hide.
(The customs man asks Drysdale about the bird, saying it needs to be kept in a cage and Granny, thinking Drysdale has goose fever, overhears and misunderstands, thinking he means that Drysdale needs to be locked up)
Customs Inspector: Madam, I was referring to the repulsive creature he brought off the plane.
Granny: Shame on you! That's his secretary.
(Granny gives the man who was listening to Drysdale and Jethro talk and went into the bathroom and got attacked by Daisy the buzzard something to make him feel better – her moonshine)
Man: Thanks. I could use a drink of water. (drinks it and a bomb explosion is heard) Wow! What was that?
Granny: Smokey Mountain Soothing Serum.
Man: Who are you?
Granny: I'm Mother Goose. Now you just tuck your head under your wing and rest.
(Granny thinks Mr. Drysdale stuck his head out of the airplane window and got hit in the head by a goose)
Jed: You gonna treat him?
Granny: He don't want me to. He's ashamed of what he done I guess.
Jed: Well, sticking your head out of the window of an airplane going six hundred miles a hour ain't exactly the smartest thing in the world.
Granny: Where's Jethro?
Elly: Well, he's comin' Granny.
Granny: Why ain't he with us?
Jed: Well, he's just upset cause you wouldn't let him bring along Elly's turkey buzzard to hunt oafs.
Granny: Well, I aim to do some sleepin' betwinst here and England, and at my age, I ain't stretching out and closin' my eyes in the same room with no buzzard.
Miss Jane: I still say there's a bright side.
Drysdale: Oh, what is it?
Miss Jane: When I think of one, you'll be the first to hear it.
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