The Beverly Hillbillies Season 6 Episode 2

(The Chemist thinks Granny is quoting from Macbeth)
Chemist: You're one of those? Now let me see if I can remember the formula from Macbeth. "Eye of newt, toe of frog, wool of bat, tongue of dog. Adders fork."
Granny: Now there's a druggist.

Granny: What's that Jed?
Jed: Well, it's 'posed to be 25 pounds of English money, but whoever weighed it must have had his thumb on the scale.

Granny: And if that happens, you're gonna catch it, ya fresh, young whipper snapper.
Customs Inspector: Young Whipper snapper? Madam, I'm a sexagenarian.
Granny: Ya hear that Jed, he admits it!

Granny: This town needs every doctor it can get. What with folks driving on the wrong side of the street!

Customs Inspector: (about Granny's jug) You should have emptied this jug before you boarded the plane.
Granny: If I'da emptied that jug, I wouldn't of needed no plane.

Customs Inspector: (holding Granny's jug) And uh, what might this be?
Granny: It might be buttermilk, but I wouldn't light no match to see.
Customs Inspector: Come now, what is this?
Granny: That's Tennessee Tranquilizer. One of my best, home-made cures.
Customs Inspector: What does it cure?
Granny: What do ya got?

Granny: If cousin Marcus has dropsies, he better be turned over every now and then.
Giles-Evans: You know madam, I rather imagine he's turning over at this very moment.

Jed: He says that my cousin Marcus is late.
Giles-Evans: Um, he deceased.
Jed: Oh, well, he's in luck cause Granny's a doctor.
Elly: What kind of disease has he got?
Granny: Oh, well I'll hafta figure that out Elly May when I examine him. Thank goodness I brought my medical supplies with me. Is cousin Marcus up at the castle?
Giles-Evans: Well, yes, but see, he's been laid to rest.
Granny: Good! Good. Just keep him warm. Is the family doctor with him?
Giles-Evans: Madam, the gentleman is dead.
Granny: Ah. Well, us doctors is only mortal.

Jethro: Hey, have you ever been a damsel in distress?
Flight Attendant: Yes. For about six thousand miles.

(Jethro gets out of the plane)
Jethro: Lafayette, we is here!
Flight Attendant: That's France.
Jethro: Huh? France?! Hey y'all, c'mon back! We done overshot England again!

Elly: What could be takin' them so long? They got Jethro helpin'.
Granny: Ya just answered you're own question.

(The Clampetts were told meals are included in the fare, and they think there will be a fair on the plane)
Jethro: You gonna have side shows and freaks?
Granny: If ya ain't ya can borrow ours! (points to Jethro)

Elly: Yeah, he didn't know London from San Fransico.
Jethro: Well, it just so happens they both look a heap alike from the air. They both got seven hills!
Flight Attendant: I believe that's Rome.
Jethro: Huh, uh, where? I always wanted to see the pyramids.