Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
(Granny is talking about the love potion she is making)
Granny: But it's only to be used when a woman is too old to get a man any other way.
Jed: Oh now Granny, you're still a fine figure of a woman.
Granny: It ain't fer me!!! It's fer Elly May.
(Dean is talking to Drysdale on the phone about Elly May and his date with the "girl")
Dean: Mr. Drysdale, you don't need an escort for Elly May; you need a babysitter. All she wants to do is toast marshmallows and skip rope.
Drysdale: I don't care if she wants to play jacks! (pauses) Oh really? Who won? (pauses) Now, you listen to me young fella, I'm paying you to entertain that girl and that's what you're gonna do, if ya have to play hide and seek! (pauses) Oh really? Well, hang up before she finds ya.
(Jed is telling Drysdale about a past love conjurer Granny made)
Jed: Oh, it's got action before. I remember one time back home, it uh brought every feller within five miles around.
Jed: Yep. She set the cabin on fire.
(Drysdale laughs, but stops when Jed looks at him)
Jed: Mr. Drysdale, that ain't very funny.
(Granny is saying the spell for her love conjurer)
Granny: Magic powder, magic brew, in the fire and up the flu. Fetch a man and fetch a minister so poor old Elly won't be a spinister.
Granny: I'm a scientist, not a poet!
(Jed tells Granny Miss Jane got a man without Granny conjuring for her, and Granny tells him she isn't conjuring a man for Miss Jane)
Granny: I'm conjuring fer my old-maid granddaughter. And I aim to see her married before she's all wasted away.
Jed: Elly could waste away a good bit and still be ahead of Miss Jane.
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