The Beverly Hillbillies

Season 6 Episode 28

The Crystal Gazers

Aired Unknown Mar 20, 1968 on CBS
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Episode Summary

The Crystal Gazers
Granny believes she has the power to predict the future, and she is set on doing whatever she needs to make them all come true, especially when she realizes that she never actually predicted what started her on it all.

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Donna Douglas

Donna Douglas

Elly May Clampett

Buddy Ebsen

Buddy Ebsen

Jed Clampett

Nancy Kulp

Nancy Kulp

Jane Hathaway

Irene Ryan

Irene Ryan

Daisy Moses "Granny"

Raymond Bailey

Raymond Bailey

Milburn Drysdale

Max Baer Jr.

Max Baer Jr.

Jethro Bodine

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (18)

    • Jed: I don't think you're an old fool.
      Granny: Oh yes you do.
      Jed: No I don't.
      Granny: You do to.
      Jed: I don't neither.
      Granny: Well, then say it!
      Jed: I don't think you're a old fool.
      Granny: Ah. Well you ain't so sure, huh?

    • Granny: I'm pert near over it.
      Jed: Good. Then you won't be needing this misery chaser I brung ya.
      Granny: I said PURT near. There's still a thimble full of shock hanging on.
      (Granny takes big gulps from her jug)
      Jed: Well, if you wasn't in shock before you swallowed that, you gonna be now.

    • (Granny gives Mr. Drysdale five dollars, but he does not want it)
      Drysdale: I was supposed to get a lot of money.
      Granny: That is a lot of money. Why, back home with five dollars, you could buy enough land to live off of and enough moonshine to make livin' worthwhile.

    • (Jethro and Elly run into Granny on their way to the front as she is heading for the kitchen)
      Jed: You alright Granny?
      Granny: Course I'm alright. Who's that fella sittin' at the table with ya?
      Jed: I think you better sit down till your eyeballs stop spinnin'.
      Granny: Where was they goin' in such a hurry? It's the first time Jethro ever run that fast away from the kitchen.

    • Granny: I'm a doctor, not a fortune teller. You give me my bat wings, and my newt eggs, and my spider webs. I don't want nothin' to do with this black magic.

    • (Granny says that one of her predictions has come true)
      Granny: I predicted that Jethro and a beautiful girl would be going on a journey.
      Jed: But you said a long journey. I told him just to drive around till you cool off.
      Granny: That'll be a long journey, believe me.

    • Jethro: See that paint don't come off! I told you to make it water color!
      Elly: Well, it is water color. Its blue, ain't it?

    • (Jed and Elly are watching the puppies eat)
      Jed: Way they're eatin', they remind me of seven little Jethros.

    • Miss Jane: Chief, the strangest thing just took place at the Clampetts'.
      Drysdale: At the Clampetts', what else can you expect?

    • (Elly finds seven puppies on the front porch, which is one of Granny's predictions that she's going to have seven young-ins.)
      Granny: Jed, do you realize what this means?
      Jed: Yeah, it means now we got pert near thirty dogs on the place.

    • (Because he keeps talking about Granny's fortune telling, Granny hits Jethro on the head with a skillet)
      Jethro: What was that noise? Somebody drop something?
      Granny: Yeah. My skillet.
      Jed: Well, at least your eyes are straightened out.
      Jethro: Sure, but this crystal ball has still gotta go. Now it's done give me a headache.

    • Granny: I want everybody in Pike County to know. That's why I'm telling Elverna it's a secret.
      Jed: Alright Granny, but tell her to get somebody to steady the ladder.
      Jane: Ladder?
      Jed: Yeah. First thing old Big Mouth does with a secret is climb up on her roof and holler it out.

    • Jed: Granny thinks she can foresee things. She guessed some woman back home was gonna have twins and what they names would be.
      Granny: I did not guess! It come to me!
      Jane: Well, then you're a prognosticator.
      Granny: Save your insults. I didn't ask for this power.

    • (There's a knock on the door)
      Granny: Hold on. I think I'm getting' another vision.
      (There's another knock)
      Granny: Yeah. I predict we's gonna have a visitor.
      Jed: You don't say? Uh, when?
      Granny: Soon.
      (There's another knock)
      Granny: Hear that? It's come true. Now wait. Let's see if I can predict who it's gonna be.
      Miss Jane: Yoo-hoo. Mr. Clampett, Granny.
      Granny: It's Miss Jane!
      Jed: How'd you know?
      Granny: A voice told me.

    • (Jethro is wearing Granny's bath towel for a turban along with her favorite broach as the jewel)
      Granny: You're wearing my best bath towel!
      Jethro: I figured it'd help, if I wore a turban like Swami Herman.
      Granny: And my favorite broach! Don't you know that them's real diamonds and rubies? Cost ninety-five cents!
      Jethro: A lot you know Granny. If they was real, they'd cost at least three dollars!

    • Granny: You know what they say about the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter?
      Jed: Yeah, but you ain't one.
      Granny: That's probably why it took so long for the power to show up.

    • Granny: Is that the paper from back home, Elly?
      Elly: Yes ma'am. It's the Bugtussle Times Tribute Journal and World Report.
      Granny: Well, let me read the headlines. I wanna see how many folks come to church last Sunday.

    • Granny: How can Jethro see the future? Most of the time he ain't sure where he's been.

  • NOTES (0)