The Beverly Hillbillies

(Granny overhears Jethro and Jed talking about the truck outside, and she thinks they mean her) Jethro: You mean we's gonna keep that old broken down wreck around here forever? Jed: I don't say forever, but as long as she still workin'. Jethro: But these cold mornings it takes forever to get her started. Jed: Maybe, but once she gets warmed up, she goes pretty good. Jethro: But she's a eyesore. She's a disgrace to the family. Come on Uncle Jed. Lemme just push her off a cliff. Then we can collect the insurance. Granny: (in the house) Duke, they's gonna do me in for my fifty dollar double indemnity. Jed: What kind of birthday surprise would that be for Granny? Jethro: It'd be a great surprise if you lemme give her that little yellow bomb. Granny: Now he wants to blow me up. Jethro: Listen Uncle Jed, let's forget about the insurance. It don't amount to nothin' no how. First, I'll strip her of everything we can sell. Granny: Strip me?! So that's why Jed took my shoes! Jethro: Then, I'll throw what's left in the city dump. Granny: Now I ain't even gonna get a decent burial. Jed: Well Jethro, I realize she's old and startin' to fall apart. Jethro: That's the truth. One good kick would finish her. Jed: Nope. Ain't gonna kick her to pieces, nor push her off a cliff, nor throw her in the city dump. When the time comes that she can't go no more, we're gonna ship her back to the hills and give her to some poor kids to play with.

(Granny is racing Jethro, but behind him) Granny: Come on old timer, catch him for me and I'll take ya to Indianapolis fer the big one!

(Jethro drives off in the new truck, refusing to take Granny to the garage to get the old one) Granny: I'm gonna cut across and catch him! Jed: You'll never make it Granny. Granny: Just watch me! Jed: By doggies, she's doin' pretty good. (Granny catches up and jumps on the back of the truck) Jed: If she can just keep that speed till the next Olympics, we got us a mess of gold medals.