The scene with John Wayne was a last minute addition to the episode. Buddy Ebsen was friends with John Wayne and invited him to do the walk-on.
John Wayne: I beg your pardon. I understand you were looking for me. I'm John Wayne.
Granny: Where was ya when I needed ya John?
(Drysdale says he'll go outside the mansion to "fight" the Indians)
Drysdale: I'm going out there and give myself up. Then right away, you'll be safe.
Elly: Oh no, Mr. Drysdale!
Drysdale: Oh yes! It's me they really want.
Granny: You?! When they've seen Elly May?! They might be ignorant, but they ain't blind!
(Drysdale calls the movie studio to arrange a fake Indian attack at the Clampett mansion for Granny)
Drysdale: Larry, if Indian don't attack here, Clampetts go home, fight Indian. Studio close down. Chief Bald Eagle lose job.
Chapman: I'm beginning to read your smoke signals. One Indian raid coming up!
(Jane reveals to Drysdale, who is acting like a Native American, that Running Wolf and Little Fox have been putting him on)
Chief Running Wolf: It was a great performance by you Mr. Drysdale. My people could take Indian lessons from you.
(Jed and Jethro are going to meet with the Indians over the land dispute)
Granny: Now, there's just one little favor Elly and me would like to ask of ya before ya go.
Jed: What's that?
(Granny pushes her and Elly against the wall)
Granny: SHOOT US!
Granny: DON'T LEAVE US TO THE MERCY OF THEM RED DEVILS!
Jed: Drive on boy.
Jethro: Ain't we gonna shoot em?
Jed: Drive on boy!
(Jed tells Granny the Indians are just visiting Beverly Hills to talk)
Jed: Yeah, they got a reservation over to the Beverly Sunset Hotel, and I'm supposed to go over there and talk to um.
Granny: Didn't I tell ya he had a blind spot? He's walkin' right into their reservation.
Jane: How bout it Chief Running Wolf, what do you think of our city?
Little Fox: Oh come on dad! He likes to put people on with that Indian talk. Actually, he's a graduate of Oxford.
Jane: How interesting. I really would like your opinion Chief.
Chief: Well, frankly I find the high incidents of hydro carbon and monoxide pollutants in your thermally inverted atmosphere very detrimental to proper respiration.
Little Fox: Go back to "Ug."
(Jed calls back home to prove there is no trouble with Indians on their land)
Jed: Hello Luke? Yeah, Jed Clampett speakin'. Well listen Luke, uh,Granny is worried that folks is getting' scalped there. Would you talk to her?
(Jed gives Granny the phone, and she listens to Luke)
Granny: I didn't say you was over chargin' anybody, ya old nut!
(Jane says that a meeting betwen Jed and the Indians can solve the land border problem)
Drysdale: I know Jed Clampett. Why, he'd give the Indians his whole oil field! And his money to boot!
Jane: Now Chief, he . . .
Drysdale: Didn't he try to give it to those college kids?! And for no reason! Just because they were starving.
(Granny tells Jed that Indians are invading their land back home)
Jed: Granny, I just don't believe there is any engen trouble.
Granny: That's what General Custer said!
(Granny is trying to convince Jed they need to go back home to fight the "invading Indians")
Granny: THE WHOLE CITY OF BUGTUSSLE WILL BE IN FLAMES! ALL FIVE BUILDIN'S WILL BE BURNIN'!
User Score: 313
User Score: 7991
User Score: 801
User Score: 193
User Score: 152
User Score: 78
User Score: 72
User Score: 48
User Score: 34
User Score: 28
User Score: 28
User Score: 16
User Score: 13
User Score: 12
User Score: 11
User Score: 10
User Score: 9
User Score: 8
User Score: 7
User Score: 6