Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
(Jethro calls Elly to tell her he's coming back to the fifth floor, and she runs to tell Jed and Granny. Mr. Armstrong thinks Jethro is dead still)
Elly: Pa, Granny, good news! Jethro's comin' back!
Jed: He's comin' down here?
Elly: Well, that's what he said.
Armstrong: You, you actually Heard Jethro's voice?
Elly: Well, he called me and I heard him.
Granny: I always believed he'd come back here.
Elly: He said it was awful lonesome up there.
Armstrong: Lonesome? Up there among the stars?
Elly: Well, he said there wasn't nobody from Hollywood there at all!
Armstrong: Did you, uh, did you do this Mr. Clampett?
Jed: Yeah, I whittled that.
Jed: No, that's Jim Owens. I don't believe we know any Therapy, do we Granny?
Granny: I don't recollect any. What does he do?
Armstrong: Oh, well, you see therapy helps people get over shock or tragedy or nervousness.
Jed: Sounds like a nice fella.
Jane: Chief, why did you have to tell him that Jethro jumped out the window?!
Drysdale: Wishful thinking I guess.
Jethro: You let me turn this place back into my world wide talent agency, and I'll put cha in movies.
Jed: What do you think Granny?
Granny: Nah Jed. It's tempting, but the world needs a good doctor more than it does another sex symbol.
Granny: You could learn some mighty useful trades, like hair cuttin', teeth pullin', doctorin'.
Jed: Wood carvin', harness mendin', shoe cobblin'.
Jethro: Y'all just don't understand, do you? I just can't go from being Hollywood's number one agent to cobbling shoes. I'd rather jump out the window!
Jed: Well, if ya feel that strong about it.
Armstrong: I've got to see Mr. Drysdale.
Granny: Well, tell him he can start sendin' in the B's.
Armstrong: Oh, you have hives?
Jed: Only durin' the strawberry season.
(Armstrong is asking the Clampetts about Jethro, who he thinks jumped out the window, not knowing he's still alive)
Armstrong: I imagine Jethro's leaving was quite a loss to you.
Granny: Well, we wanted him to stay here and give up the agent business, and learn another trade.
Jed: But the boy was too proud. He said if he couldn't be Hollywood's number one agent he'd rather jump out the window.
Armstrong: "Pride goeth before a fall." Oh, I'm sorry, that just slipped out.
(Julie Andrews tells Jethro he is leaving his talent agency)
Jethro: That guy's crazy. If he'd a stuck with me, I'd a made the name "Julie Andrews" famous.
(Jane tells Drysdale that it is his love of money that caused the problem with the Clampetts on the fifth floor)
Jane: You're greedy, graspy, canorious, aberitous, and that's why you're in trouble.
Drysdale: Yes. Like they say, "Nice guys finish last."
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