The Beverly Hillbillies

Season 6 Episode 12

The Reserve Program

Aired Unknown Nov 22, 1967 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

The Reserve Program
Jethro is getting ready to enter the reserves, and the Clampetts are giving him a party, with gifts, including lady fingers, a squirrel rifle, and a Confederate uniform. Jethro heads down to the reserve where they are preparing to shoot a Civil War movie. The men there think Jethro is an actor for the movie. Jethro soon thinks that the Civil War is going to happen again and rushes home to tell Granny and Elly. Granny decides to take up the fight to make sure the South wins, again, since she is convinced they won the first time. Granny, Elly, and Jethro head down to the reserve office to get some information. While looking in the Colonel’s office, Granny sees the actor dressed as Ulysses S. Grant and believes it is the real one. When she returns home, she tells Jed, who thinks it is a result of her moonshine.moreless

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    Donna Douglas

    Donna Douglas

    Elly May Clampett

    Buddy Ebsen

    Buddy Ebsen

    Jed Clampett

    Nancy Kulp

    Nancy Kulp

    Jane Hathaway

    Irene Ryan

    Irene Ryan

    Daisy Moses "Granny"

    Raymond Bailey

    Raymond Bailey

    Milburn Drysdale

    Max Baer Jr.

    Max Baer Jr.

    Jethro Bodine

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (13)

      • Granny: General Ulysses S. Grant is alive and plannin' to attack the Colepeppers' plantation at dawn on Monday! (gets her jug)
        Jed: I think you had enough of that.
        Granny: Don't knock it Jed. You oughtta see what it's done fer Grant.

      • (Granny looks through the door and sees Ulysses S. Grant)
        Granny: It can't be Ulysses S. Grant! He couldn't live this long, especially the way he hit the bottle.
        Grant: I'm so dizzy I'll never be able to get on that horse.
        Granny: It's him!

      • Granny: Have you ever hear of Belle Boyd? The beautiful Confederate spy.
        Elly: No ma'am.
        Granny: Well, she proved that a perty face and a stunning figure could ALWAYS loosen them Yankees' tongues. You know what I mean?
        Elly: Yes ma'am!
        Granny: Well good. You stay here and finish the dishes, and Jethro will drive me down.

      • Granny: Them Yankee's meant it.
        Elly: Meant what Granny?
        Granny: Fer years they've been mutterin' "The North Will Rise Again."

      • Elly: He's come back fer it Granny! His conscious is hurtin' him.
        Granny: More likely his stomach is hurtin' him. He ain't ate in two hours.
        (Jethro runs into the kitchen and slides towards the fridge)
        Granny: See? Right to the ice box.

      • Elly: Can I please come along?
        Granny: No honey. In the dangerous game of toying with a man's emotions, there's no substitute for experience. And I need all I can get. It's been a long time.
        Elly: Well, couldn't I just watch and see how ya vamp a fella?
        Granny: On one condition.
        Elly: What's that?
        Granny: The tricks I learn ya can drive a man stark-ravin' mad. Ya gotta promise to only use em in the defense of yer country.
        Elly: I promise.
        Granny: Alright.
        Elly: Well, I best go put on a dress. I wouldn't want em to think I was a boy.
        Granny: It beats me how the South won with girls like that.

      • Jethro: Can't you convince her that the Civil War is over and that the South lost?
        Jed: No I can't, and I ain't gonna try. At my age, a broke leg don't mend too fast.

      • Jethro: Uncle Jed, I can't show up at the Army Reserve lookin' like this! What are they gonna think?!
        Jed: Well, I'll tell ya one thing. You ain't gonna be just another face in the crowd. Bet cha it ain't everyday they get a boy in a Confederate uniform totin' a squirrel rifle that shoots lady fingers.
        Jethro: Uncle Jed, what am I gonna tell em?!
        Jed: Tell em the truth. Tell em ya wore it to please a sweet, sentimental, little old gray-haired Granny who'd break yer leg if ya didn't.

      • Jethro: Hey, would ya look at this! What is it Mr. Drysdale?
        Drysdale: That, my boy, is a Money Man piggy bank. You see, he has a hole in his head.
        Jane: How true. How true.

      • (Miss Jane gives Jethro her present for him)
        Jethro: Thanks Miss Jane. What is it?
        Jane: It's a pin-up picture of me.
        Drysdale: Please, not while we're eating.

      • Drysdale: What are you giving him Elly?
        Elly: Oh, I made his a whole box of lady fingers. He likes to snack between bites.
        Jane: You means between meals?
        Elly: Not Jethro.

      • Miss Jane: What was Jethro carrying?
        Jed: His breakfast. He ain't one to let savin' his life stand in the way of eatin'.

      • Granny: "Mr. President, Members of Congress, Fellow delegates, Honored guests, distinguished visitors."
        Elly: What's wrong with her?
        Jed: Nothin'. She's been readin' speeches all week.
        Granny: "I think Thomas Jefferson expressed the emotions of all of us when he said, "Roll in flour, salt to taste, fry in deep fat.""
        Jethro: Bring it on Granny!
        Granny: Oh. That's my directions fer fryin' chicken.
        Jed: Keep goin' Granny. You're the first one to get his attention.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)