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Elly May Clampett
Daisy Moses "Granny"
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale
For an old woman, Granny has a lot of strength. She has lifted many heavy things. In this episode, she lifted the couch to move Jed closer to Adeline. She isn't as frail as she gives herself credit for.
Adeline: Jed, don't you wanna talk about somethin' besides Granny when yer with a pretty girl like me?
Jed: Turned off nice weather today, didn't it?
Jed: After all you've been through, I reckon it's too painful to talk about it.
Adeline: Oh no. When my husband, what's his name, passed on…
Adeline: I just wanted to see where some of these things is from. I see most of em is from France and England.
Granny: That's good, isn't it?
Adeline: Not to me. All my stuff comes from much further away then that. It's made in Japan.
(Granny brings in refreshments for Jed and Adeline)
Granny: I brung ya a little light refreshment.
Jed: What kind of refreshment?
Granny: Well, it looks like pure, clear branch water, don't it? Oops,spilled a drop. (They look at the carpet and see the drink is burning a hole in carpet)
Jed: You take your rheumatis medicine out of here.
Granny: But Jed, it's my private stock!
Granny: How's Mr. Ashley? Is he sick?
Adeline: Oh no, nothing like that.
Granny: Oh, good.
Adeline: He died.
Granny: Oh dear. What an awful blow.
Adeline: I'm back to normal for now. Time went by and pert near healed the wound.
Granny: I'm so glad. When did ya lose him?
Adeline: Last Thursday. Tom, rest his soul, would have wanted me to carry on as usual. But it's hard.
Granny: Course it is.
Adeline: Since he passed on, I ain't had but two days, iffin ya don't count the barn dance and the hay ride.
Granny: He's a big iron and steal tycoon, you know.
Jed: Granny, he's a blacksmith.
Granny: And travelin' first class too – by bus.
Jed: Her husband always was one to spend the money on her.
Granny: She's gonna stop by and say howdy to us while she's here visiting friends in Cucamonga. Ain't that excitin'?!
Jed: No, I've never been to Cucamonga.
Granny: Faster, Elly! Faster! The fumes in this smoke is getting' around the kettle, we'll all be be smothercated.
Granny: See, even yer voice is changin'.
Mrs. Drysdale: Dear, dear little Granny. How sweet you look today!
Granny: One of us has been hittin' the jug too hard.
Mrs. Drysdale: Oh, no. I've changed. I'm so sorry for all the things I've done in the past. And it will never, ever happen again. I want us to be close, close, close friends!
Granny: I've been waitin' for this for six years. Now I ain't too sure that I want it.
Mrs. Drysdale: Please Granny?
Granny: Alright, Mrs. Drysdale. We's friends.
Mrs. Drysdale: Good. Now may I meet Adeline Ashley?
Granny: Ah ha!! I should have known that's what you was after. Ha!
Mrs. Drysdale: But I just wanted to invite her to be my house guest for a couple of weeks.
Granny: Close friend? Your friendship is as phony as your eyelashes!
Mrs. Drysdale: Oh, please ask her?
Granny: I going to, just to hear her say no! Out!
(Mrs. Drysdale runs away)
Granny: By golly, she's is anxious. I believe she would have pushed a peanut over here with her nose.
(Jed and Granny hear Mrs. Drysdale's screams)
Granny: Sounds like Mrs. Drysdale is happy to see Adeline.
Jed: Well, birds of a feather, Granny. She's a peacock, and we're just a bunch of old crows.
Granny: Speak for yourself.
(Adeline is at Mrs. Drysdale's all wet from falling in the fish pond)
Mrs. Drysdale: My husband gives at the office.
Adeline: Oh Mrs. Drysdale, I'm Adeline Ashley. I'm gonna to be your house guest for the next two weeks.
(Mrs. Drysdale screams)
Adeline: All right, I'll stay longer.
(Mrs. Drysdale screams louder)
Granny: Our snooty neighbor over yonder Mrs. Drysdale wants you to be her house guest for a couple of weeks. I already know your answer.
Adeline: I accept.
Granny: That's the wrong answer.
Adeline: I ain't throwin' away my youth waitin' fer you to propose, Jed. Already wasted half a day.
Granny: Adeline, you mean you're gonna over there with Mrs. Drysdale?
Adeline: Well, I've got to get back to some sophisticates like myself. You know, the in crowd!
Jethro: Hey, wait!
Jed: Let her go, Jethro.
Jethro: But look where she's headed; she won't see the Drysdales' fish pond.
Granny: Let her go, Jethro.
(Adeline screams as she falls in fish pond)
Jethro: See, she got soaked.
Granny: Take a look in there. That's a real lady.
(Jed sees Adaline in the parlor drinking moonshine)
Jed: For a real lady she tips the jug a lot like a real man.
Granny: Did you see her little finger up in the air? That's what cha call manners.
Jed: Either that, or for hangin' her empties on.
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