The Beverly Hillbillies

Season 7 Episode 13

The Week Before Christmas

Aired Unknown Dec 18, 1968 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • Jethro tells Miss Jane he wants to leave his hat on his head until the hair grows back. But in the next episode, he has a full head of hair. His hair must grow fast, considering it grew back in a week.

  • Quotes

    • (Jethro comes in Miss Jane's office covered in bandages)
      Jane: What happened? You weren't set upon by angry bank employees, were you?!
      Jethro: No ma'am. These is powder burns from the explosion.
      Jane: Were you there when the clock went off?!
      Jethro: No ma'am, but I was there when the flash powder went off.
      Jane: Flash powder?
      Jethro: Yes ma'am. I was holding it in my hand when I stuck my tongue in the light socket.
      Jane: (Giggles) You know Jethro, I, I, I'm not going to ask you any more questions
      Jethro: I'd appreciate that.
      Jane: Sit down. Take off your hat.
      Jethro: I'd rather leave it on till my hair grows back.
      Jane: No, I promised.

    • Jed: What's all the yelling about?
      Granny: Elly's bear ate my letter before I had time to read it! Now I don't know whether Sam proposed to me or not! Jed, go ram your hand down his throat and fetch it out of his stomach fer me!
      Jed: I believe I'll pass on that.
      Granny: You can do it; you got long arms!
      Jed: Yeah, and I wanna keep em that way.

    • (Granny tells Jethro they will be operating on Fairchild, and Jethro has to hold him down while Granny gets her letter out of his stomach)
      Jethro: I ain't gonna hold down no bear while you whittle on him.
      (Granny picks up her jug)
      Granny: It's alright. I aim to give him a good, stiff, jolt of anesthetic.
      Jethro: I fer sure ain't gonna hold down no drunk bear!

    • (Granny is reading the letter from Sam Drucker)
      Granny: "Dear Granny, I hope you will come to Hooterville for Christmas, all of you." Here that Jed? He wants all of me.

    • (The bank employees are mad that Drysdale won't give them Christmas day off)
      Drysdale: Look what I just took out of my suggestion box. Shocking, vicious, sadistic. I should turn them over to the vice squad. And those are just from the women.

    • Jethro: What cha cryin' fer Mr. Drysdale? You got me, you got Fairchild, and you got this beautiful present. Sounds like a clock!
      Drysdale: Yeah. I may let this one go off.

    • (Jethro has a plan on how to look on the inside of the bear's stomach)
      Jethro: Unscrew the bulb outta the lamp.
      (Granny unscrews the bulb)
      Jethro: Not turn on the switch.
      (Granny flips the switch)
      Jethro: Now they is live electricity in there. But that bear don't know that cause he's a dumb animal.
      Granny: So?
      Jethro: So, we put some honey in there. Then when Mr. Stupid yonder sticks his tongue in to get the honey . . .
      (Granny looks down just as Jethro sticks his tongue in the light socket, and an explosion occurs)
      Granny: Could you do that again Jethro? I wasn't watching.

    • Drysdale: My employees gave me this.
      (Shows Jed the present)
      Jed: Well, ain't that nice. I reckon a fella in your position can always use a clock.
      Drysdale: Uh, how do you know it's a clock?
      Jed: I can here it tickin'.
      (Jed gives the present to Drysdale, and he puts it up to his ear, hearing the ticking noise)
      Drysdale: Miss Hathaway!
      (Miss Jane rushes in)
      Jane: Yes Chief?
      (Drysdale throws the gift at her)
      Drysdale: Soak this in water! Quickly! Quickly!
      (Miss Jane rushes out with the box)
      Jed: That ain't too good fer a clock, is it?
      Drysdale: It's a, a water clock, an old Egyptian water clock. Very rare and valuable.
      Jed: Folks here at the bank sure must think the world of you.
      Drysdale: Yes, they wanted to give me a big blow-out.

    • (Jethro refuses to hold down Elly's bear for Granny's operation)
      Granny: You scared of a little blood?!
      Jethro: When it's mine, yes ma'am!

    • (Granny's reading the letter she received in the mail)
      Granny: "Yesterday I saged my sausage, skinned my chitlins, and hung my ham. I hope you like them, sugar." Bold rascal.
      Jed: Called ya "sugar," did he?
      Granny: Read it for yourself.
      (Granny gives Jed the letter)
      Jed: I think that goes with the next line. "I hope you like them sugar-cured."
      (Granny snatches the letter away)
      Granny: Read your own mail!

    • (Granny and Jethro are examining their love letters)
      Jethro: Both of them beautiful Bradley girls has promised to marry me.
      Jed: Both of em?
      Jethro: Yeah. They know us big Hollywood producers has always got lots of wives.
      Granny: Not at the same time, boobie.
      Jethro: Well, then they'll just hafta take turns. I'll marry Billie Jo one day and Bobbie Jo the next.

    • (Granny wants Bessie, in a cowboy costume, to give her the letter from Sam)
      Granny: Now listen you little goomer, you give me my letter, or you and me is gonna play cowboy and Indian, and the Indian is gonna win.

    • Jed: Appears you and Sam are kinda serious.
      Granny: I guess you think it's kinda silly for someone so old.
      Jed: No, not at all.
      Granny: Course, I ain't no chicken myself.

  • Notes

  • Allusions