When it comes to the Happy Gizzard going topless, why couldn't any of them figure out what it was? There are children who know what it means. Why couldn't the Clampetts? And when they did find out what it was, why would Granny not tell Elly May? Elly is an adult, so she is old enough to know what it means and has a right to. Plus with the truck driver being excited over her, shouldn't she know for future references?
Jethro: Mr. Vanderpont made me an offer on The Happy Gizzard. Said he always wanted an eatin' place like mine.
Jed: How much?
Jethro: Well, a thousand dollars. If Granny does the cookin'. Hundred dollars if she don't.
Granny: I hope I know what you answered him!
Jed: Now there's only one thing the boy could have said.
Jethro: That's right. Ya better get stompin' Granny. You's late fer work.
Jed: The Vanderponts sure had me fooled. Just a couple of hill folks like us.
Granny: They ain't hill folks. They lived in the gulp.
Jed: Granny, don't be such a snob.
Mr. Vanderpont: Yeah, once I got filthy rich with uranium, Pearly May started to talkin' fancy. Getting' high-toned notions. I think what done it was puttin' on her first pair of shoes.
Jethro: How do you like my accent?
Drysdale: It's atrocious.
Jethro: No, it's French!
Jane: I definitely feel we should change the name.
Granny: You're right! It oughtta be something that makes ya hungry the minute ya hear it. Like the…the Boiled Mule.
Jane: Course the Happy Gizzard isn't bad.
Jethro: Thomas Edison goofed a few times before he invented the airplane.
Jane: No, no, Thomas Edison made the first light bulb.
Jethro: See, that's what I mean about goofin'. Imagine comin' up with a light bulb when he's trying fer an airplane.
(Mrs. Vanderpont thinks Jed is a doctor, after a lie Drysdale told.)
Mrs. Vanderpont: How do you do?
Jed: How are ya?
Mrs. Vanderpont: Well, now that you ask, I have a little pain right here. And I haven't been sleeping well. And my liver is not what it should be. Then too, I've always been bothered with migraines.
Jed: Well, it's a pleasure to know you so well. So soon.
Mrs. Vanderpont: Well, I must say, your love for money borders on the psychotic.
Drysdale: Ah, thank you gracious lady.
Drysdale: My dear Mr. and Mrs. Vanderpont, you can't know how happy I am that you reconsidered.
Mrs. Vanderpont: How could we refuse? When you threw yourself right in front of out car, in the middle of Sunset Boulevard.
Drysdale: Well, actually, that was one of my clerks. But it was my hand that pushed him.
Mrs. Vanderpont: Really?
Drysdale: Well, he's being rewarded. I'm letting him go home early tonight.
(Granny's describing her prescription for her headache medicine)
Granny: Three fingers of remedy in a glass, add water, ice cubes, twist of lemon, and sip yer head off.
(Jethro tells the rest of the family that Mr. Drysdale has a bad headache)
Granny: I'll give ya some medicine to take over to him Jed. I'd go myself, but I can't leave my post here.
Jed: What are you givin' him?
Granny: Some of my sure-fired headache remedy.
Jed: Granny that is rhematis medicine. Corn squeezings.
Granny: Well, if ya drink enough, it'll stop yer headache.
Jed: Drink enough, it'll stop yer breathing.
Jed: Can I offer ya some refreshments on the house?
Truck Driver: Well, alright. I'll have some java.
Jed: Uh, we ain't got none of that. How bout a cup of coffee instead?
(A truck driver followed Elly in the Happy Gizzard after seeing her topless waitress sign)
Truck Driver: Oh, Scooby Doo. There you are you kiss of a tomato. I blew a head gasket over you.
Granny: Don't you get fresh with me, ya big wolf.
Jed: Granny, you're making a mistake.
Granny: No I ain't. I know his type. Spoutin' all that love poetry. Dressed fit to kill.
Drysdale: Twenty million dollar account gone. A topless restaurant on my hands. This could drive a man to philanthropy.
(Jane hears Jethro talking about his place going topless, which he thinks means without hats)
Jane: Jethro, I can hardly believe my ears! Does your Uncle Jed know about this topless business?
Jethro: Sure. He says it's all the same to him. The waitresses don't care.
(Drysdale is telling Jane how he saved money by renting a restaurant for Jethro instead of buying one)
Miss Jane: Good ole Mr. Drysdale, heart of solid gold. Cold and hard.
(Jed, Granny, and Elly are talking about Jethro's restaurant)
Jed: Mr. Drysdale said it takes a little while for a restaurant to get popular.
Elly: Popular? I just wish he'd get his first customer.
Jed: Shouldn't be too much longer now. He's been open a week.
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