Penny: Dave is not smarter than you, he's an idiot.
Leonard: Really? Why would you say that?
Penny: Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend.
Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?
Penny: That's what you took from that?
Sheldon (after seeing that Penny has bought him a present): The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.
Sheldon: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Woman: Excuse me?
Sheldon: Here. (gives woman gift basket) Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Woman: I don't understand what you're talking about, and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
Howard: See, sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it.
(shopping for Penny's Christmas gift)
Howard: Come on. Bath stuff. It's perfect. You got scented candle, a cleansing buff, spearmint, and green tea scented bath oil promotes relaxation.
Sheldon: That pre-supposes Penny's tense.
Rajesh: If she knows you, she's tense. We all are. Buy a basket.
Raj: If you don't like this stuff, let's just go next door and build her a bear.
Sheldon: I told you before, bears are terrifying.
Sheldon: I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy? Do you realize what this means? All I need is a healthy ovum, and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!!
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, are you and Leonard putting up a Christmas tree?
Sheldon: No, because we don't celebrate the ancient pagan festival of Saturnalia.
Howard: Gather round, kids, it's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special.
Sheldon: In the pre-Christian era, as the winter solstice approached and the plants died, pagans brought evergreen boughs into their homes in an act of sympathetic magic intended to guard the life essence of the plant until spring. This custom was later appropriated by northern Europeans and eventually becomes the so-called Christmas tree.
Howard: And that, Charlie Brown, is what boredom is all about.
Sheldon: I don't see anything in here a woman would want.
Howard: You're kidding. You've got lotions and bath oils... soaps; that's the estrogen hat-trick.
Sheldon: What it is is a cacophonous assault of eucalyptus, bayberry, cinnamon, and vanilla. It's as if my head were trapped in the pajamas of a sultan.
Sheldon: You got me a present?
Sheldon: Why would you do such a thing?
Penny: I don't know. 'Cause it's Christmas.
Sheldon: Oh, Penny! I know you think you're being generous but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift; you've given me an obligation.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #233.
The German episode title is "Die Geschenk-Hypothese", meaning "The Gift Hypothesis". The French title is "L'Hypothèse des cadeaux de Noël", meaning "The Christmas Gifts Hypothesis". The Italian title is "L'ipotesi dei sali da bagno", meaning "The Bath Salts Hypothesis". The Spanish title is "La hipótesis del regalo de artículo de baño", an exact translation. The Mexican title is "La hipotesis del obsequio de baño", meaning The Bath Gift Hypothesis".
International airdates: Latin America: February 24, 2009 on Warner Channel; Australia: July 27, 2009 on Channel 9; Turkey: November 16, 2009 on CNBC-e; Finland: December 21, 2009 on Sub; Czech Republic: November 9, 2010 on Prima COOL; Slovakia: September 28, 2011 on Markiza
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