Ramona: Dr. Cooper, I have to tell you, your friends are holding you back.
Sheldon: I prefer to think of it as if I'm pulling them forward.
Rajesh: Isn't there a University policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No. If you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Rajesh: Damn, there's always a catch.
Sheldon: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed off, and I need you to help me get rid of her.
Penny: "Get rid of her" how?
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment, never to return.
Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâché volcanoes with baking soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on you—a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? (No one in the classroom does anything.) Of course not. I weep for the future of science.
Penny: (having seen Ramona massaging Sheldon's feet) You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls.
Ramona: You're not going to Halo night.
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: (sighs) Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?
Howard: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Ramona: I think you're just brilliant.
Sheldon: That is the prevailing opinion.
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker!
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #223, which is actually a "censored" card redirecting people to view the genuine card rejected by CBS on Chuck Lorre's website.
The German episode title is "Das Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem". The French title is "Le Théorème Cooper-Nowitzki", the Italian title is "Il teorema di Cooper-Nowitzki", and the Spanish and Mexican title is "El teorema de Cooper-Nowitzki".
Music: "Be My Yoko Ono" by The Barenaked Ladies
International Airdates: Turkey: October 12, 2009 on CNBC-e; Finland: November 16, 2009 on Sub; Czech Republic: November 1, 2010 on Prima COOL; Slovakia: September 21, 2011 on Markiza
Ramona is delighted that Sheldon explained a physics principle by citing The Flash playing tennis with himself, referring to events in issue #123 of The Flash comic book.
Sheldon tries to invoke the Body Snatchers Clause in his friendship with Leonard, where Leonard agrees to help if pods are creating duplicates of people during their sleep, borrowing the major plot device from Jack Finney's 1954 work, The Body Snatchers, made into movies several times.
Sheldon tries to invoke the Skynet Clause in his friendship with Leonard, where Leonard agrees to help if Sheldon creates an artificial intelligence that becomes self-aware and threatens the human race, borrowing the inciting plot element from James Cameron's Terminator franchise.
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