Sheldon: Whoo. I'm all sweaty. Wanny log on to Second Life and go swimming? I just built a virtual pool.
Leslie: What sort of experiment would you propose?
Leonard: There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie. Probably a romatic comedy, featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
Leslie: Interesting. And would you agree the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss?
Leonard: Heart rate, pheromones, etcetera, yes.
Leslie: Why don't we stipulate the date goes well and move to the key variable?
Leonard: You mean kiss you now?
Leonard: Anyway,I was thinking more of a biochemical exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
Leslie: Wait, are you asking me out?
Leonard: I was going to characterize it as the modfication of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component. But we don't need to quibble over terminology.
Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s, and you can't prove string theory. At best you can say "hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency."
Penny: Ah. Well, I'm sure things will pick up.
Leonard: I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common. "You love pottery? I love pottery!" You know, there's a pause, we both know what's happening, I lean in, we kiss, it's a little tentative at first but then I realize, she's kissing me back, and she's biting my lower lip, you know, she wants me, this thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh God! Oh, my God!
Sheldon: Is the sex starting now?
Leonard: I'm having a panic attack!
Howard: Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms. Or hits you with the pepper spray.
Sheldon: Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
Leonard: No, I'm not jealous, I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
Howard: Because he looked better than you?
Leonard: Yeah. He was kinda dreamy.
Wolowitz: Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?
Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
Wolowitz: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
Sheldon: Okay, let me ask you this. When I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
Raj: You might be bound by them right... now.
Sheldon: I have noted that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now, given that winter is coming, one can only assume that she's signaling sexual availability.
Howard: I don't know. You guys work in the same lab.
Howard: There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law, I'm a bit of a self-taught expert.
Leonard: Look Howard, if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out, it would just be for dinner. I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Howard: Oh, then you're probably okay.
Leonard: No, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
Raj: Like who?
Leonard: I don't know... Olivia Geiger?
Sheldon: The dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and lazy eye?
Sheldon: Well, I don't think you have a shot there.
Sheldon: There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.
Sheldon: (to Leonard) I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
Wolowitz: So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move… I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway…
Sheldon: (to Leonard) Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
Sheldon: I have got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon. Help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the sword master!
Wolowitz: Leonard, look out!
Leonard: Damn it, Sheldon, we're dying here.
Sheldon: Goodbye, peasants.
Leonard: Bastard teleported!
(Raj looks over at Sheldon's computer)
Raj: He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay.
Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
Sheldon: I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait... somebody just clicked Buy It Now.
Wolowitz: I am the sword master!!
Wolowitz: Raj? Blow the gates.
Raj: Blowing the gates. Control, shift, B.
Sheldon: How was your date?
Sheldon: Score one for liquor and poor judgment.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #186 (Zen Noir).
The German episode title is "Erregungsfaktor: Null", meaning "Thrill Factor: Zero". The French title is "Le Corollaire de pattes-de-velours", meaning "The Velvet Feet Corollary". The Italian title is "Il corollario del gatto", meaning "The Cat Corollary". The Mexican title is "El corolario del gato con botas", meaning "The Cat with Boots Corollary". The Spanish title is "El corolario de "botas peludas"", an exact translation.
Music: "Boston" by Augustana
Sara Gilbert (Leslie) and Johnny Galecki (Leonard) previously co-starred as love interests (later husband and wife) on Roseanne.
Original International Airdates:
Turkey: September 23, 2008 on CNBC-e
Czech Republic: April 21, 2009 on Prima COOL
Germany: July 25, 2009 on ProSieben
Slovakia: August 19, 2011 on Markiza
Azeroth is the main world where Blizzard's MMORPG World of Warcraft and other Warcraft games are based. The race Night Elf and the class Rogue are possible choices for characters.
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