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The Big Gay Sketch Show

Season 2 Episode 5

Episode 11

0
Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Mar 11, 2008 on LOGO
8.2
out of 10
User Rating
6 votes
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Episode Summary

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Episode 11
AIRED:
MTV News with Damian Fahey (Guarino) interviewing rapper Lil' Dyke (Ash), who denies she's gay while debuting her new music video, "Cat Sittin'", which is heavily loaded with lesbian innuendos; Paula Deen (McKinnon)'s Sit n' Eat diet; "A Moment with Perez Hilton (McGovern)" featuring Naomi Campbell (Ash); "The SUZE! Show" features Suze Orman (Goldman) giving financial advice to lesbians; Harry Potter (Guarino) gets a new roomate... transgendered Fitzwilliam (McKinnon), who tries his best to use wizardry to finally get the "perfect accessory" (i.e., a vagina); "A Moment with Perez Hilton" featuring Nick Lachey (Andino); "America's Next Top Bottom" featuring Miss J. (Domingo); "A Moment with Perez Hilton".moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Stephen Guarino

    Stephen Guarino

    Various Characters

    Kate McKinnon

    Kate McKinnon

    Various Characters

    Paolo Andino

    Paolo Andino

    Various Characters

    Nicol Paone

    Nicol Paone

    Various Characters

    Colman Domingo

    Colman Domingo

    Various Characters

    Julie Goldman

    Julie Goldman

    Various Characters

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (12)

      • Hagrid: I've come to take you to Diagon Alley to find your enchanted animal.
        Fitzwilliam: I've already got an enchanted animal. I want an enchanted vagina!
        Hagrid: I mean an owl or a cat, not a stuffed dog.
        Fitzwilliam: She's a unicorn! She's very sensistive. She's just got out of an abusive relationship.
        Hagrid: Well, come along then, I'm sure we can find you a toad or a cat that you fancy.
        Fitzwilliam: Cat! Toad! What I need is a Beaver!

      • Perez Hilton: Naomi, hi!
        Naomi Campbell: I don't know you.
        Perez: Yes, you do. It's me! Perez Hilton.
        Naomi: Never heard of you.
        Perez: Well, I bet the gravy knows who I am. Right gravy?
        (Perez takes a big jar of gravy from his bag and starts drinking from it with a straw.)

      • Fitzwilliam (singing to a member in the audience): Have you a pretty vagina to share? Me with a pee pee just doesn't seem fair!

      • Fitzwilliam's Father: There now, Fitzwilliam, run along. Run along while daddy chats up this extremely interestng bearded man.
        Dumbledore (flirtatiously to Fitzwilliam's father): What say you and I get to know each other better over a game of quidditch and a pint of boar's blood, hmm?
        Fitzwilliam's Father: Or we could just, uh, go out to my car and f*ck?

      • Fitzwilliam: Oh, well, then I'll need a spell! One for transformation, one for elimination, one for glitter and tassels...
        Harry Potter: Well, you'll need a wand first.
        Fitzwilliam: I've already got a rotten wand! You're horrid to remind me!

      • Fitzwilliam: Oh Trixie! Trixie, I was SO CLOSE! But if this works out, Dumbledore will be my new mummy and I'll be the prettiest little girl since Zac Efron!

      • Lil' Dyke: You see that last part? That's what you call "innuendo."
        Damian Fahey: The part where you say you like having sex with women?
        Lil' Dyke: Yeah, yeah. That's a euphemism for... uh... having sex with men.
        Damian Fahey: Really? I hadn't heard that one before.
        Lil' Dyke: Oh, yeah. Well, I love men! (gags) I can't wait to be all filled up with a man's babies one day.
        Damian Fahey: Well, you heard it here first. Lil' Dyke, thanks for stopping by and, uh, setting us "straight."
        Join us tomorrow when Ricky Martin comes into the studio with his girlfriend. A woman!

      • Damian Fahey: Lil' Dyke, let me ask you something, uh, have you faced a lot of discrimination from the hip hop community since your album dropped?
        Lil' Dyke: Why, 'cause I'm black?
        Damian Fahey: No, uh...
        Lil' Dyke: Why, 'cause I'm a woman?
        Latifah a woman. Missy a woman.
        Damian Fahey: Actually, because your gay.
        Lil' Dyke: What?! Gay? Where you get that from?
        Damian Fahey: Uh... Your name. Your song. Your clothes. The girlfriend that you brought to the studio.
        Lil' Dyke: Man, that's my manager.

      • Harry Potter: A transformation spell, that's what you need, Fitzwilliam!
        (offers his wand to Fitzwilliam)
        Fitzwilliam: A transformation spell, of course!
        (hops over and takes Harrys' wand)
        "Transformia Vaginosar!" "Penisula Extracto!" "Eliminatum Escrotum!"

      • Harry: Hello, Hagrid. I'd like to introduce you to the new boy, Fitzwilliam.
        (Fitzwilliam falls to the ground, moaning in pain)
        Fitzwilliam: Whenever I hear the word "boy," I get a shooting pain in my Chamber of Secrets.

      • Lil' Dyke: (rapping)
        Give it me now. Huh.
        When I'm flexin' at the gym, step aside.
        When I pull up in my Hummmer, get inside.
        All the ladies in the house holler back.
        Come and introduce your pink to my black. Yeah.

      • Fitzwilliam: Oh, Trixie! We're finally at Hogwarts and soon I'll learn the spell I need to transform my "That-which-must-not-be-named" into my "That-which-I've-always-wanted-since-I-was-a-little-boy." A magical enchanted vagina!

    • NOTES (2)

      • This episode was introduced by castmember Colman Domingo.

      • Recurring sketches/characters:
        Rosie and Chastity's end heckle (5th appearance)
        Kate McKinnon as Fitzwilliam (4th appearance)
        Erica Ash as Naomi Campbell (2nd appearance)
        Julie Goldman as Suze Orman (1st appearance)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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