The Big Gay Sketch Show

Season 3 Episode 5

Episode 19

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Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM May 18, 2010 on LOGO
6.0
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Episode Summary

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Episode 19
AIRED:
The ladies of The View, Barbara (McKinnon), Whoopi (Domingo), Joy (Goldman) and Elisabeth (Paone), discuss the Hot Topic of gay divorces; "When Dykes Attack"; "The 2nd Annual Facebook Awards"; "My Super Taliban-eriffic Sweet 16," featuring Kabuli teen Palwasha(Paone)'s "sweet" celebration with special guest star Nicole Scherzinger (Paone); Dr. Phil (McGovern) talks to his most "special" guest ever - transgendered Fitzwilliam (McKinnon), who finally gets his wish (i.e., a vagina).moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Kate McKinnon

    Kate McKinnon

    Various Characters

    Paolo Andino

    Paolo Andino

    Various Characters

    Nicol Paone

    Nicol Paone

    Various Characters

    Colman Domingo

    Colman Domingo

    Various Characters

    Julie Goldman

    Julie Goldman

    Various Characters

    Jonny McGovern

    Jonny McGovern

    Various Characters

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Fitzwilliam: I was trying to build a first-rate vagina. I tried to whittle one out of a stick. I tried to fashion one out of s'mores. I even tried to tie one out of knots.
        Dr. Phil: Now, why don't you just join the Boy Scouts and do boy things, like chop wood?
        Fitzwilliam: I've already got wood. What I want is a vagina.
        Dr. Phil: Son, maybe you just don't have what it takes to be a scout.
        Fitzwilliam: But I've already earned my Bobcat badge and my Wolf badge and I hope one day to earn my Beaver.

      • Palwasha: It turns out, Nicole Scherzinger was even less educated than we were. But she was nice enough to leave us with a karaoke machine, which we played with all night. We wanted to sing, Hit Me Baby, One More Time, but we changed it to, "Hit Me Baby, You Are Allowed to By Law." Thanks, MTV!

      • Palwasha: Hi, I'm Palwasha. I live in Kabul, Afghanistan. Life in Afghanistan isn't what everyone in America seems to think. It's not like we all live in caves. Some of us live in huts. I live in a cave.

        This is my most prized possession. This is the shard of glass I won when I was named "Miss Preteen Jalalabad". Actually, I was runner-up, but as part of her prize, the winning girl was sent to Heaven. Lucky girl!

      • Rebecca: So, Josh, did you know that my sister doesn't even have a Facebook page yet?
        Josh: What? How is that possible? I know a fetus who's on Facebook and she doesn't even have a face.

      • Dr. Devora Schoff, Dyke-ologist, Stanford University: No one knows what makes dykes attack. But let me make this clear, that in my research, I've found that not all dykes are violent. The one constant I have found is that none of them are pretty.

      • Elisabeth: Can I just please say one thing?
        Barbara: I wish to God that you wouldn't
        Whoopi: (Whoopi laughs heartily) Barbara, you're so funny.
        Barbara: Well, that makes one of us.
        Whoopi: Okay, all right. We have to go to commerical, but when we come back, we'll discuss the growing trend of black ladies killing their stupid, white old bitch bosses.

      • Whoopi: I think you clearly both have valid points, but, clearly, Elisabeth, you have to see how hypocritical you're being.
        Elisabeth: Hypocritical?
        Whoopi: Yes!
        (Whoopi and Elisabeth argue and talk over each other)
        Elisabeth: What's hypocritical is your Jewy last name. You're not Jewish! You are not Jewish! I love Jesus!
        Barbara: Ladies, sometimes I listen to you and all I can think is, "How much time would I have to do in the clink if I put a bullet through each one of your heads?" Now, let me make my point.
        Elisabeth: Fine, I'm not the one stopping you from making your point.
        Whoopi: Elisabeth, please! Let Barbara make her point!
        Barbara: Thank you, Star.

    • NOTES (2)

      • Recurring sketches/characters:
        Rosie O'Donnell's end heckle (13th appearance)
        Kate McKinnon as Fitzwilliam (6th appearance)
        Kate McKinnon as Barbara Walters (3rd appearance)
        The ladies of The View (2nd appearance)
        Nicol Paone as Palwasha and Julie Goldman as Khalida (2nd appearance)
        The Second Annual Facebook Awards (2nd appearance)
        Jonny McGovern as Dr. Phil (1st appearance)

      • This episode was introduced by recurring guest star, Sharon Osbourne.

    • ALLUSIONS (0)